I don't think you are being selfish at all. You have done a lot for this person, and it does sound like she only wants to "meet you" so she will have somewhere to stay. As suggested above, by all means recommend her other accommodations, and anything else you wish, but I wouldn't have her stay, or even potentially visit home (also so that you can be the one that calls a visit quits when you've had enough).
hi and thank you for the replies. I didn't offer to have her stay here...she has just assumed that I will offer. I think I will tell her she may have to catch a train to her appt....thanks again...
I don't think you should have her stay with you. I could let her know you're all very run down and life is chaos so she'll need to stay somewhere. And probably staying closer to the city is better due to her early appointment. If she does stay with you then no way do you have to go to her appointment with her too. She's a grown woman moving overseas, she can manage it. Yes, the US embassy generally only makes early morning appointments. They put a bunch of people on one time slot and then you hang around while you get it sorted. They end up with people there for hours so they don't make late appointments.
Personally I would go into the city to see her after her appointment for lunch or something like that. Or have her come and stay a night with you after her appointment.
Go. When you're done with this life and you look back, you'll remember the times you made an effort for, and when you went out, not the times you stayed home.
If I were your friend, I'd be quite happy to catch the train in. It's my appointment, not yours.
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