How would you deal with this situation (money issues etc)

[Amaunet]

Sorry we posted at the same time. Ignore previous advice perhaps communicate with the rest of the family re gifts? Or just give what you would like eg handmade and if they are ungrateful that's their problem?

[Lisa]

I'm very up front. I just say flat out that we can't afford it and if we have something to contribute we will. Because my neice & nephews are so young, we kinda don't make a big deal out of christmas presents... I think we spend $10-15 on them and if something was able to be made as a gift, even better! My sister last year tye dyed some clothes for my kids and they loved them.

I think your IL's have very unreal expectations sadly.

[PinkPalace]

I have changed my OP somewhat - like i said it is a general feeling . i was using examples but it is in everyday life.

You know the friends that spend a lot on your child for their birthday.. how can you do the same when you clearly cant afford to .. then how do you not feel guilty?

[westy]

PP,

To me it's the thought that counts not how much the present did or didnt cost. Most children don't understand the concept of how much things cost ...what im trying to say is that you could go and buy and $10 gift and the child would be just as happy with the gift as they would be to receive a $100 gift ...money has no meaning to children.

[*Ali*]

To me it is about the thought behind the present more than the value of the gift. I would much rather have a gift from someone that is really meant for me, ie. they have taken the time to think about what I would like, and either made it or bought it, than a gift that cost lots of money.

I am not a keeping up with the Jones' kinda girl, and so I give what I give because I have thought about it, and I want to give that person a gift. If they choose to spend more on me or my children, then that is their choice, and I take the gift with gratitude but without guilt.

Something DH and I decided a few years ago was to stop buying gifts between ourselves and his brother and sister, and instead a couple of times a year we get together, pick a different cuisine or location and head out for dinner. We love it, and it has become a tradition over the past 3 years, I would much rather do this, something with meaning, then by them a $50 something that they either don't want or could have bought for themselves, as they are both single with disposable incomes.

[PinkPalace]

PP,

To me it's the thought that counts not how much the present did or didnt cost. Most children don't understand the concept of how much things cost ...what im trying to say is that you could go and buy and $10 gift and the child would be just as happy with the gift as they would be to receive a $100 gift ...money has no meaning to children.

This is how i feel too! i hate handing over money or feeling like if i want to give or make a gift then i am frowned upon.

[surprised]

PP,

If you're worried about a present being obviously cheaper, you could stock up on pressies at sale time - Myer and Toys R Us have some pretty significant reductions?

/hth

[Poppetty]

double post

[Poppetty]

It's really hard isn't it. We're in the same situation and some family members spend in excess of $100 on each of us. I just try really hard to think of things they'll really like and often do something home made as well. I tell them not to spend so much but they still do so it's all we can do.