Kids parties and colds

[peanutter]

Ah - no, totally different. I get where you're coming from

[~*familyof3*~]

My thoughts are like rouges. Some parents do take ill kids to partys with little thought of others. A runny nose due to teething....pfft no biggy. Its when there ill (and for me yes a cold with a runny nose which isnt clear and sneezing would be ill) and could pass it on then if it were my kids i would keep them home.

That being said I DONT think the host should call everyone and i wouldnt expect them to. I think if you go and someones there whos ill then its your choice to stay or go home. Its just polite. Just like if i were expecting a frind to visit and my kids wernt well i would call them and let them know then its up to them to come or not but to me it would be the right thing to do iykwim

[PumpkinZulu]

I totally agree with Rouge. I'm not fussed so much about colds, but I've had experiences with people who call EVERYTHING a cold, like influenza, gastro, everything. And then you see them and you're like, 'ahhhh, that ain't a cold!'. I personally think it's healthy to have a few colds in the colder seasons, immunity building and all, but I definitely don't trust that every parent will keep their legitimately sick child home, or even sometimes acknowledge that they're properly sick. So if Mrs. Kid-Always-Has-Gastro calls and says their child has a 'cold'...I'd be grateful to avoid them, as opposed to Ms. Kid-Has-The-Sniffles. If that even makes sense. I'm drinking coffee to stay awake while I'm baking DD1's birthday cake, ironically.

[LizLemon]

I agree that a cold is not really a big deal, and I am not so fussed about my kids getting one (unless we are about to get on a plane, visit a newborn etc etc), but I guess the weird thing here is that someone ASKED me if they can still come. Ie they are acknowledging that their child has a contagious illness (albeit a mild one) and that in all probability it will get passed on to some of the kids attending, and asking my permission for them to still come. If they had just come to the party then what's done is done, but since they are telling me as host and asking me if they can come, it kind of puts me in the same position as if it was my kid that was sick and going to a party. Which I would not do.

If it was my child going to a party and they are sick I make the decision myself whether or not to take them, and just tell the host that we are not coming. It's the transferring of responsibility of deciding what is the right thing to do onto the host that seems unfair.

[Rouge]

Maybe Just call them back and ask if you could arrange an alternative play date for when xyz is feeling better?

[LizLemon]

I think that's probably best Rouge. It seems mean to tell them not to come just for a cold but it's a decision I won't feel guilty about Thanks for everyone's input

[glenny_c]

Yeah, I think the issue is what does she class as a cold? I recently had DS's birthday and a friend texted to let me know she and her family would love to come but her dd had a slight cold, is that OK?. DS has a heart condition so I was grateful for the heads up. However, I also know this mum and know if it was anything worse than sniffles she just wouldn't have come. I said to her that if she would send dd to school (keeping in mind she's a sensible mum) then bringing her was fine. Had it been other women in my circle ringing me to tell me about a "cold" I'd have been more wary.

[wysiwyg]

I agree that a cold is not really a big deal, and I am not so fussed about my kids getting one (unless we are about to get on a plane, visit a newborn etc etc), but I guess the weird thing here is that someone ASKED me if they can still come. Ie they are acknowledging that their child has a contagious illness (albeit a mild one) and that in all probability it will get passed on to some of the kids attending, and asking my permission for them to still come. If they had just come to the party then what's done is done, but since they are telling me as host and asking me if they can come, it kind of puts me in the same position as if it was my kid that was sick and going to a party. Which I would not do.

If it was my child going to a party and they are sick I make the decision myself whether or not to take them, and just tell the host that we are not coming. It's the transferring of responsibility of deciding what is the right thing to do onto the host that seems unfair.

I agree it is transferring the responsibility onto the host and it is unfair - but this situation I believe comes about because people are so untrusting of others and so obsessed with snot and coughs. The mums kid prob just has a snotty nose, she is so worried that she will turn up and people will ***** about bringing a kid who is ill (based on visible things only) that like you say she is trying to absolve herself of the responsibility.

If I were you I would say to her is the kid sick e.g not quite themselves, has a temp, feeling ill - or do they just have the visible manifestations of a cold e.g. dodgy nose and dry cough. If child not actually sick then to come otherwise to stay away. I don't think you have to notify other parents or take any responsibility for anyone catching anything (they could equally catch something from someone not visibly showing signs of anything).

I firmly believe the majority of parents do the right thing (there are few exceptions of course).

I personally don't use the term cold unless they are sick e.g. temp, lethargic etc. I wouldn't send a child to a party with a cold, but I would with just snotty nose or a cough etc. So it all depends on definition really.