Last November I lent a friend a book on birthing techniques (you know the Ju Ju Sundin / Sarah Murdoch book) as she was due in the following few months. At the same time I also lent her my pregnancy pillow as she seemed hard up for cash and was having issues sleeping. I offered to let her borrow the items, she didn't ask to borrow them or anything fyi.
Fast forward to last week I sent her an FB PM thanking her for a birth announcement card of her son as it was thoughtful etc. In her reply she said she'd return the pillow to me shortly. I replied back saying 'cool, no worries, would you mind returning the book I lent you too as I'll be needing that in the near future' - no response.
Today she drops the pillow in (when she knows I'll be at work and DH will be home) and tells DH she has handed the book onto someone else - and will see if she can get it back....
I'm a bit GRRRRRR at the situation. I don't know if maybe I'm just uptight about it all.....
Am I? Or would you be just as GRRRRR at the situation?
I would be grrrr at the situation. It is fine to lend books on but you remember who you've lent them to (I have a few books that have been passed onto a 2nd or 3rd friend that I've asked for returned so they can be packed). Or better yet if she found the book so great, tell the friend about it so they can buy their own copy and return the one you borrowed!
I must admit I do not lend out books anymore because of this very reason.
My books are very precious to me, but they are mine, and not for you to hand around like my study is a library! lol
Too many do not come back and it ticks me off - they are expensive, some of them sentimental and others just plain hard to get.
Anyway, I would call and tell her you want it back, so get it back or replace it - simple - none of this "see if I can get it back" rubbish!
Having worked in books for my entire working life, my collection became a "free for all". They were passed around and only occassionally I'd get them back. Two people still have books of mine, multiple books, and have had them for over two years. The belief was from them that because I worked in books, I must have gotten them for free. No matter how many times I corrected this myth, I was never believed. Books are not cheap and I have a lot in my collection that are special, signed copies, first editions, etc. I've had them come back with wrinkled covers, one even came back with chocolate smushed between the pages. So I completely understand your grrrrrr. I'm really careful who I lend them out to now.....well, it's pretty much just my mum now!
I think you have every right to feel like that. It's your property to lend to whom you want, if your friend wanted to share the book she should've asked for your permission.
I feel for you - very rarely do I lend someone a book!
I could thank her for returning the pillow, then add "oh, got the message about the book, if your friend likes it so much I don't mind if you just fix me up with the $40 and I'll buy another copy"
Technically shes committed the offence of theft (handling the goods in such a way they may not be returned to the owner), but I don't think I'd go down that line just yet lol! A bit over the top, even for me!
I'm thankful I *cough cough* couldn't find a $150 text book she wanted earlier in the year! Phew!
Lending Etiquette
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