Organising a funeral..

[suse]

It's such a daunting thing to face, I can entirely understand your reticence.

I'm just wondering though, perhaps bringing it up is your dad's way of coping, perhaps he needs to do this in order to come to terms with her impending loss himself? Perhaps he's not talking it over with your mum because talking about her funeral arrangements is not something she's able to do in terms of her own acceptance of the inevitability of her condition.

My dad died of cancer almost two years ago, and there were many things him and mum simply didn't discuss, presumably because they were trying to cope with things as best they could in their own way, and also trying to protect each other from more pain.

Perhaps you can explain to your dad why it's so difficult for you to talk about the funeral arrangements, but that you will try your best to help if it's what him and your mum need. At least then he knows that it's something you are struggling with, but that you are willing to do what you can to support him and your mum. But from my own experience (and I say this without knowing your family dynamics so forgive me if it's not appropriate advice) I would be cautious about suggesting that he discuss it with your mum as it may not be something she can handle.

What you and your family are going through right now is one of the most heartbreaking things anyone will ever go through, and I send you strength and love to help you through it.

[Rivlas]

Be honest with your Mum and tell her you want to know how she wants her funeral to be conducted for when the time comes. I have done this with my Mum and we have it all written down as to what she wants and doesn't want.
You will probably find she has been thinking about this.
When my Dad was dying from cancer he talked about how he wanted his funeral conducted and where he wanted to be buried. It was hard but it also made it easy as we were able to do it how he wanted it.
You are in my thoughts as you go through this trying time.

[Jaycee]

Sweety, I too think that maybe you could ask your mum what she would like?
Chances are, she's thought about it a lot and may be too scared to bring it up with you. If you bring it up gently with her, it might be a good thing.
and more for you
xxx