if your child is playing with a toy, and other toys are available, would you encourage your child to let the other kid play with the toy? or should the other child leave yours alone, and find something else themself? does it depend on whose house you are at?
Yes I would
* if your colleague forgets their lunch, would you offer to share yours? or offer to loan them some money?
I would loan money rather than share mine, cause then I might be hungry lol.
* if a friend is in financial difficulty, so you offer help? what kind of help?
No, no cash to friends only leads to pain!
* what about family?
Close family yes I would - dependent on what they want it for I guess.
* how well would you need to know someone on bellybelly for you to be willing to offer assistance?
Very well being on the internet and all.
* do you give to people begging? buy the big issue? donate to charities?
Donate a substantial amount to charity/sponserships, etc. Tend not to give to people begging in the street.
* if you see a complete stranger in trouble (falling over on the street, fainting on the train, throwing up at the shops, whatever) do you help? do you call for help but not intervene personally?
Yes, definitely help. If it was a dangerous situation like someone being beaten, I would call police and ask a male around me to help first. Again dependent on situation.
* do you share/help out when you know it's not likely to be reciprocated (whether a repeat offender friend/relative, or someone you know isn't in a position to help out in return)?
Yes, I do. It's not about the expectation of something in return.
* how personal does your sharing get? do/would you donate blood? plasma? bone marrow? a kidney? breastmilk? eggs? would you be a surrogate for someone? with these things, would you do it for an immediate family member? friend? acquaintence? stranger?
I would definitely donate (and do) blood, am on the donor list for organs if I die, bone marrow I'd consider, though it's painful and I believe you need a bit of time off for recovery, breastmilk no (just because I find it ickky m.o.o), eggs yes, if I still have any and was in the situation to be able to, be a surrogate no, just couldn't do it.
All of those things I would do for anyone regardless.
* do you give away goods that you would be happy to keep, because you think someone else needs/would appreciate them more?
I have at times, but I find it hard to do!
* what do you expect of others? do those expectations change based on anything (wealth, time available, upbringing, etc?)
I expect that same standards as me, though I understand that not alot of people do think the same way as me and upbringing and financial situation plays a big part of their ability to do so.
* how do you decide when to offer advice etc, and when to keep your thoughts to yourself?
I tend to offer advice more to people younger than me or when I've got the life experience that applies to their issues. Keep thoughts to myself when I know what I have to say may be hurtful or offensive even if it may be beneficial.
* when you share in different ways, do you do it because you feel you should, or because you enjoy it, or because you think we all should, or other reasons?
I enjoy sharing things I feel I have alot of knowledge of and therefore can help others with.
* do you find sharing and generosity hard to talk about in general?
I do find it hard to talk about, because I am not being generous for acknowledgment from anyone. Recently we were discussing tax returns at work and someone wanted to know how I got the refund I did - I ended up telling them the approx sum I donated for the year and they were shocked. I feel like people have a problem with you giving to others at times.
* what do you think the main influences on your views about all this to be? upbringing? spiritual beliefs and value system? your partner's views? what you want for your children?
Definitely upbringing, christian beliefs and values. I really want to instill the same (if not better) values in my children. A mission trip with my children when they are old enough to understand would be something I'd like to do to help them understand how blessed they are.
* if your child is playing with a toy, and other toys are available, would you encourage your child to let the other kid play with the toy? or should the other child leave yours alone, and find something else themself? does it depend on whose house you are at? I wouldn't expect my child to give it up (unless it is my DD who is only using it to wind someone up ).. But would encourage them to play together.. Also depends where we are and the emotional attachment to the toy on either side.
* if your colleague forgets their lunch, would you offer to share yours? or offer to loan them some money? Wouldn't offer to share, but would offer them some money to get something, even if I knew I wouldn't see the money again, but only if it isn't a regular occurance being taken advantage of.
* if a friend is in financial difficulty, so you offer help? what kind of help? Not cash, but offer to cook meals, give them something they need if I have it around (clothes, toys, lift to train station).
* what about family? depends on who in the family and what. A select few I would help with cash/finances.. The others, would help where I can without forking out cash.
* how well would you need to know someone on bellybelly for you to be willing to offer assistance? If someone asked for assistance, if it was within my means I would give help. I have helped people who have asked for maternity clothes, nappies, pram and I didn't know any of them.
* do you give to people begging? buy the big issue? donate to charities? Never large amounts, but if I have change, then yep. I don't know whether the beggar is genuine or not, but something must be up for them to go to that level.
* if you see a complete stranger in trouble (falling over on the street, fainting on the train, throwing up at the shops, whatever) do you help? do you call for help but not intervene personally? Yes. A few weeks ago after DH had day surgery, a lady tripped in car park, both DH and I were out to help her up before she realised what had happened. As long as I am no in any danger, I will help/stay with a person until further help arrives or person is fine to carry on.
* do you share/help out when you know it's not likely to be reciprocated (whether a repeat offender friend/relative, or someone you know isn't in a position to help out in return)? A few times, but I soon get jack of one sided arrangements. I like to know the people I help regularly would help me if needed. Maybe not the same things I do for them, but if I needed something they are there.
* how personal does your sharing get? do/would you donate blood? plasma? bone marrow? a kidney? breastmilk? eggs? would you be a surrogate for someone? with these things, would you do it for an immediate family member? friend? acquaintence? stranger? Have donated blood, but can't anymore. not suited for plasma or bone marrow. Kidney to family, close friends if I was healthy enough. Have offered eggs to a lifelong friend, but couldn't for a stranger. couldn't be a surrogate for anyone.
* do you give away goods that you would be happy to keep, because you think someone else needs/would appreciate them more? Yes. What goes around comes around.
* what do you expect of others? do those expectations change based on anything (wealth, time available, upbringing, etc?) I would like to think others would help me in the same way I help people. I only give what I can whether it be financial, time, or beliefs, and can only assume the same from others.
* how do you decide when to offer advice etc, and when to keep your thoughts to yourself? depends on how well I know the person and to know whether they need advice regardless, or just wanting comfort/attention.
* when you share in different ways, do you do it because you feel you should, or because you enjoy it, or because you think we all should, or other reasons? I just beleive what goes around, comes around. I have been lucky enough to always have someone when needed. Not the same person all the time, but someone.
* do you find sharing and generosity hard to talk about in general? not sure what question means..
* what do you think the main influences on your views about all this to be? upbringing? spiritual beliefs and value system? your partner's views? what you want for your children? my upbringing and I want my children to appreciate others. I don't want them taken advantage of, or them taking advantage of others, but in a generally sharing world.. If something means so much they don't want to give it up, then don't, but respect that other things don't come easy either.
I haven't read any other replies yet but remembered the thread and had to come and post before i forgot.
* if your child is playing with a toy, and other toys are available, would you encourage your child to let the other kid play with the toy? or should the other child leave yours alone, and find something else themself? does it depend on whose house you are at?
I encourage my girls to share toys, if they have just picked it up and start playing with it and someone tries to take it i tell them to keep playing but offer it to the other kids shortly. IF they have been playing with it for some time then i encourage them to let the other child play and pick up another toy.
I don't allow them to snatch and where possible i explain they should wait until someone is finished to use something.
* if your colleague forgets their lunch, would you offer to share yours? or offer to loan them some money?
I have in the past done both, i've also offered to buy a kinder acquantance coffee & cake when we went out after a meeting as everyone else was having some..
* if a friend is in financial difficulty, so you offer help? what kind of help?
This depends on the friend, i have a friend who is constantly using others and not gaining any life experience from her mistakes and always falling abck on others, i learnt NOT to offer her monitary help but MORAL help. Other friends i don't mind lending money, buying some groceries or paying a bill (if i have the $$ myself)
If i can't afford it i've offered to make meals or babysit before
* what about family?
Same as above really, depends on who & why
* how well would you need to know someone on bellybelly for you to be willing to offer assistance?
I have offered assistance to people i have not met, i sent old baby clothes to a BB member and offered moral support, it's about being a community - it doesn't mean i would send them thousands of $$ etc but even a friendly ear is good enough at times.
* do you give to people begging? buy the big issue? donate to charities?
For causes close to my heart yes but i wish i could give more, there are times i feel horrible pushing my trolley full of groceries and saying NO to someone asking for help but i'm not always in a position to spare the money or time.
* if you see a complete stranger in trouble (falling over on the street, fainting on the train, throwing up at the shops, whatever) do you help? do you call for help but not intervene personally?
Depends on the situation, someone falling over or fainting i would assist, if they looked drunk or violent then i would generally call security or a shop assistant as i have 2 kids with me basically at all times and will not risk them.
There was an accident on our intersection, i was late for a birthday party but no-one else had stopped, i put the kids in the driveway (sleeping in the car) got out and checked everyone, called a tow truck, sat with the lady til her mum arrived, got them all water, swept the road and moved her car. i didn't have to - they were fine and not in danger but i don't know why people would leave that until someone was able to be comforted etc.
* do you share/help out when you know it's not likely to be reciprocated (whether a repeat offender friend/relative, or someone you know isn't in a position to help out in return)?
With most friends or even some strangers then YES friends who do cry poor but buy alcohol or go to the pokies with the $$ no
* how personal does your sharing get? do/would you donate blood? plasma? bone marrow? a kidney? breastmilk? eggs? would you be a surrogate for someone? with these things, would you do it for an immediate family member? friend? acquaintence? stranger? I want to donate blood but keep forgetting to do it, i want to be an organ donor - if a family member or close friend needed bone marrow etc then i would see if i could help. - these thinsg would be for people i was quite close too. If i knew they would agree and DP wouldn't be all weird i would off to be a surragote for my cousin & his wife.
* do you give away goods that you would be happy to keep, because you think someone else needs/would appreciate them more?
If i had a spare fridge and someone needed it then yes i would, DP and i have been looking at a cheap ru around car for if we need to take a kid each or i need to go somewhere wihout the kids but can't take the ute, we offered to buy that and let his dad have it until we really need it.
* what do you expect of others? do those expectations change based on anything (wealth, time available, upbringing, etc?)
A helping hand in any way possible, it doesn't have to be money but just the offer of knowing they might prepare a meal, might help if i'm stuck on the side of the road - i don't care whether they are family, friends, rich or poo.. just knowing there is someon that cares enough to offer.
* how do you decide when to offer advice etc, and when to keep your thoughts to yourself?
* when you share in different ways, do you do it because you feel you should, or because you enjoy it, or because you think we all should, or other reasons?
* do you find sharing and generosity hard to talk about in general?
* what do you think the main influences on your views about all this to be? upbringing? spiritual beliefs and value system? your partner's views? what you want for your children?
Reply With Quote).. But would encourage them to play together.. Also depends where we are and the emotional attachment to the toy on either side.
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