Should I invite her partner?

[Peach*]

DD's first birthday is coming up and Ill be inviting one of my good friends from interstate who Im pretty sure will come along, the problem is I dont want to invite her partner who is a complete douche but I dont want to hurt my friends feelings. Any advice would be appreciated!!
I thought maybe I should put him on the invite as maybe he would stay behind, but if he did come I would be devo...Then I dont want it to be weird between my friend and I if I only invite her...

[Rouge]

Unfortunately unless you want to explain why he's not invited you'll have to invite them both or not at all. Sorry I couldn't offer a better solution.

[feeb]

Unfortunately unless you want to explain why he's not invited you'll have to invite them both or not at all. Sorry I couldn't offer a better solution.

:yeahthat::yeahthat::yeahthat::yeahthat:

[*Ash*]

Hi Peach!

Oh, a tough dilemma! I don't have any advice per se, just some questions to help you mull it over!

You said you would be devastated if the partner came. And your relationship with your friend is important and you do not want it to be weird between you. I guess it is a case of balancing those 2 things.

Do they have a long way to travel to your place? Is is likely that he would even be interested? Could you sus it out with your friend first before you do the 'official' invite? Could you tell her that you don't want it to be a huge event (whether that is true or not) and are trying to contain the numbers?

If she assumes that the invite includes her partner, would you want to risk hurting her by saying that he isn't invited? Would she be hurt if he wasn't invited? What is going to affect you more in the long term - his having attended the b'day OR a (possible) strain in the relationship with your friend? Only you can answer that one.

I guess the only definite is the fact that you don't want him there. At this stage, it is only hypothetical that she would be offended if he wasn't invited....

I hope that helps in some small way! Good luck!

[diannescruffy]

I agree with with Rouge. If I was in your friends shoes and was invited to a party but not my DH/DP I know I would be offended and want to know why he wasn't invited also.

Regards,
Dianne

[Turkish Delight]

I'd be so offended too if Dh was invited and not me. I wouldn't go and then probably not speak to them again either.

[smiles4u]

......... i've been in this situation before, sadly it came down to either it's everyone's partner or none at all ... and none at all means you still have to explain yourself as it's unusual for 1st birthday parties for it to be just female friends invited only

So sorry reckon you will have to invite him ... UNLESS he is an alcoholic that will get smashed & ruin the party i think then it would be worth talking to your friend about him but will of course cause more than just friction !!

[Peach*]

Thanks Girls for your replies.

Sigh! I know if roles were reversed I would be offended if DP wasnt invited, but aaargh I dont know how to say what Im thinking...

Smiles4u- Unfortunately(well probably fortunately) he isnt a rampant alco so I cant use that one but I see what your saying with all partners or none, thats a pretty good call.

Aliash- Some good things to ponder, I know for a fact she would be offended if I didnt invite him as when we were in Melbourne last we were meant to have a girly catch up and he wanted to come along(controlling, possesive and emotional abusive hence me calling him a douche) but I said that I wanted it to be just her and I and she got a bit funny so I kind of dont want to have that happen all over again...And they would be coming from vic to qld.

I guess Ill just invite him and hope for the best...