Registered User
we paid for all of our bridal parties stuff.
i see it that i am the one wanting to have the wedding so you shouldnt expect someone else to have to pay for things.
we got presents off 2 of the bridesmaids but my MOH didnt get us anythign and complained the whole time about ablsolutly everythign even though they got to wear colours and styles and hair how they wanted.
Registered User
Maybe LOLI might be dumb....but she's cross cos you paid????? Far out...ever heard of gratitude
She paid for her own shoes (which all the girls got to chose so they could wear them again) and $10 for her dress. So in reality, she got out of the whole event quite cheap.
Not to mention i brought her an extra present (a pandora braclet $130 on top of everything else) She should be the one being grateful here now!
I paid for everything - I would never expect someone to purchase a dress of my choicve that they would possibly never wear. So, I paid for everything and I gave them a small gift.
Registered User
Sunshine, I don't understand your bridesmaid at all. I think it's good and proper you paid for everything (minus a 10-buck dress and a pair of shoes). Why is she cranky? I think the "precedent" theory is right. Fear the day you're asked to be her bridesmaid, she's going to be one hell of a bridezilla.
I didn't have bridesmaids as such but included my sisters in the ceremony and let them wear whatever they wanted (they both used it as an excuse to go shopping). I can't help noticing at weddings how the bridesmaid dress always looks great on one bridesmaid, chosen to suit her body shape and skin tone, while the other bridesmaids come out looking like they're wearing a sack. Clearly someone has a bit more of a say than the others.
If you're going to punish people, please don't make them pay for it.
BellyBelly Member
I think it is a negotiation between the bride and bridesmaids. My parents paid for my wedding so they paid for everything for our bridesmaids and groomsmen (including gifts for them). My BMs and groomsmen did give us gifts, but we didn't expect them. DH and I paid for our photographer.
I have since been a bridesmaid for 2 of my bridesmaids and for one of them, I had to pay for everything and the other I didn't pay for anything as her parents paid for the reception and bridal party. I bought a gift for my friend who paid for everything and for my friend where I had to pay, I went in for a joint present with the rest of the bridal party.
Bath - In answer to your question about duties of BMs - mine organised my kitchen tea, hen's night, came wedding dress shopping and flower shopping with me and helped to set up the church for our wedding rehearsal. They helped to make the wedding invitations, pew decorations, place cards and books for the church. They also handed out cake at the wedding reception, held my flowers during the ceremony, participated in the bridal waltz and carried all my make up, tissues and other bits and pieces. DH and I along with our parents picked the reception venue and DH and I organised the photography on our own with the photographer.
When I was a BM for each of them, it was basically the same. I did a lot of the preparation stuff and then on the day helped them get ready, took fruit and sandwiches to the hairdresser, carried their personal items, handed out cake etc.
I think every bride and every wedding is so different, I don't think there can be a hard and fast rule for everything. My parents paid for everything for my BMs because that was what they believed should happen. I would have paid for it if my parents didn't want to pay for my wedding. It doesn't mean that I expect the same from my friends when they get married. If I want to be a part of it in that way, I am willing to pay for what is expected, within reason.
Sunshine - Sorry, I'm a bit confused ... what is your friend actually upset about ... that you paid for the hair and make up or that you didn't pay for the dress and shoes? I probably missed it somewhere there or read it wrong ...
Registered User
but why is she cranky- i dont get it
Registered User
Yep - she was upset that I paid for everything except the dress that cost $10 and her shoes, which she got to choose. I paid hair, make up (which coincidently her mum did for everyone and cost me more than the celebrant and the cake combined), scarves and jewellery. I should add - apart from how expensive the make up was - I had ABSOLUTLY no issue paying for any of this. I felt I should as I asked them to be in my wedding.
As she was the only bridesmaid who was living close enough to help out with anything she organised my hens night and that was it. I did everything else for the wedding (oh she did come to one dress fitting after the dress was brought) with DH and my mum. As I was so appreciative for the fact she organised that I also brought her a pandora braclet as a thank you. After all this and she has the ordasity (sp) to say that I'm ungrateful and should be ashamed of my behaviour??
When I posted this i thought about teh expectations thing adn my response to her was "well maybe you'll begin to realise how difficult it can be when it comes to organising your own wedding" Guess thats not happening now since she left her fiance to "go overseas and find herself" 6months before the wedding with no plans/dates on returning....
BellyBelly Member
Did she have this conversation with you recently? Wasn't your wedding a few months ago.
Sounds like she might be trying to get together some cash for her overseas holiday to me ...
Registered User
Just Me - Yeah it was a while ago now...god I can't believe how long ago it was...it's gone so quick! hmm 5months now...
BellyBelly Member
Sorry, I just realised the date of your first post was back in October sometime
Registered User
LOL - it's all good - i have lots of moments like that!Sorry, I just realised the date of your first post was back in October sometime
Reply With Quote
Bookmarks