Apparently I offend my sister all the time.... Mostly it hurts me to think that she really thinks that I would mean it in that way
but then, I also have to take responsibility to be careful how I say things as I know she is sensitive to them... Whether or not I think she is being ridiculous....

So I guess, even if my intent was not offensive, is she was offended, then... It was offensive... IMO.
Although personally, I always consider the intent... Even if my initial reaction is shock, I usually calm down when I think about it.

I agree that calling someone directly a "name" is offensive... But I also think that name calling in general can be offensive, and there is a difference between giving your opinion eg "i think chocolate ice cream tastes gross" or "I don't like chocolate ice cream", and making a blanket statement eg "people who like chocolate ice cream are stupid" ... I think the latter is still offensive... maybe a little less than "you're stupid for liking chocolate ice cream", but nevertheless offensive.

Its very hard to stand up and tell someone when you are offended, so while in the idea world it would be nice if we could do that... I just don't think it's that easy. Especially if the comments are more general, rather than specifically toward a certain person. But I agree, it's okay to tell someone if you are offended.... Unfortunately you cannot then expect that the person will apologise, in fact you cannot guarantee how someone will react... That's why people avoid the confrontation in the first place I guess.

I guess to answer the original question..... I think there are certain things that are culturally/socially seen as offensive... But I guess even they may not be offensive to everyone... I personally have always had this discussion with DH.... His daughter used to go around calling people cute/silly/funny names eg bucket head, or cranky pants... And I said all along... It's a dangerous habit, it doesn't teach children when its okay and when its not... Safer not to use any names at all. The difference between you are naughty and what you did is naughty or "she is sexist" versus "I think she is sexist" I guess. One you can say for sure, its your opinion, the other one is not an opinion... It's a statement... And a statement needs proof (in my opinion) you can't really tell someone their thoughts are wrong... You can only say that you disagree with them...

Not really sure what I am trying to say is clear.... I feel like I am going around in circles.... I just think that there is a big difference between stating your opinion and making a derogatory or offensive comment about something....