What is the period of grace for getting stuff done post baby?

[Gigi]

where did you get the Six Weeks is the Grace Period idea from?

i think it's individual.

Some women bounce back, a day after having a baby, everything heals, baby is cruisy.

Some women have a very difficult labour, have complications, long physical recovery time.

Some women have PND.

Some bubs are born premature and have to "catch up".

Some bubs are unsettled and as they can't talk, it takes a while to work out what is upsetting them.

Some families have different levels of physical support.

More than one of these things, can happen in the same family.

SO MANY VARIABLES.

I know people who say thank you cards are unnecessary, that's a personal choice, i like them too. I would put some thank you cards in your purse/nappy bag, along with some envelopes and stamps - so if you are out, and bubs gives you a window of opportunity (falls asleep, is being cuddled by someone else), you could always get ONE thank you card, done at a time - IF that would make you feel better. Just have your list with the cards, so you can cross off, the ones you have done so far.

I think people who care, will not be waiting with a stop watch for you to do whatever is on YOUR list.

SOmetimes, you buy a gift under pressure, and then find a better one when you are relaxed.

I think you need to take some pressure off yourself.

when a baby comes along, they take priority - do what you have to do to help your family get thru this time - EVERYTHING ELSE CAN AND WILL WAIT.

the pressure to do what everyone else is doing, is HUGE. I remember feeling like i had three heads, reading about other mums, having birthed the same time as me, who were back to their normal life, so fast - i felt like a total failure. Took me ages to work out, they had not been thru the same labour experience as me, so the old hairy chestnut of "every situation is unique" is actually very true. I couldn't even get behind the driver's wheel until six months, took my stomach so long to heal. I coudln't stand up without holding onto walls, for months. I coudln't bathe my own child for a year (lack of strength). Things OTHER mums were doing from week one. So i do sympathise. Hindsight is a wonderful thing. And at the time, i did get comments from other people, including other new mums, "why aren't you driving yet"?

i see the time post labour as survival time (possibly coloured by my own experience). i think caring for your family, keeping the essential housework things ticking over (washing, food, YOUR sleep) takes precedence over all those other things. Do them when your bub is more settled and you are rested well enough to be able to concentrate.

well meaning people say "let the housework go". I think that is BS. if everyone's clothes are dirty, there is no food in the fridge, every kitchen surface is full of dirty dishes - the family can't function.

anyone visiting you NOW, if they trot out the "if there's anything that you need", this is the time to speak up
As a matter of fact, we could really do with . . .
- homecooked freezable meals to heat up
- shopping trips like go and get your family a week's worth of fruit n veg
- ditto the supermarket
- walk the dog
- anything that is really getting you down, cos it's not done right now e.g mopping the wet areas

Write ONE invite, to ALL the people you want to come and visit, email that, or photocopy hard copies if you want to post them. The main thing is, they will all get your message.

if he is cranky/unsettled - guessing here -
- try a baby hammock?
- get him seen by a chiro who sees infants to rule that out
just ideas.

love from Gigi

[melbel]

ummmm....we finally sent out thank you cards out with our christmas cards.......he was 10months old......I feel very slack now!!!

[Gigi]

i personally think, if you manage to send thank you cards, that's a bonus.

before having a child, i would have thought "it is a MUST". after having a child (and complications), i now think of it as a FRILL.

Melbel, you did well, just to get them out.