I think leave it how you find it is a good rule. Only time I might leave a door open is if I'm going to the car to get something and won't have hands to open it...maybe?

Lol at the toilets, we are a door closed, lid down sort of family, and far out, doors open, lids up, seats up, it's not that hard! I suppose at the end of the day the state of the loo won't actually kill me.

I don't always take my shoes off - the inlaws tend to be a shoes off family, but my feet get so cold! But I usually ask - because I never really want to take my shoes off, so I don't do it automatically, but to be polite I check 'do you want me to take my shoes off', and if they say no then I can wear my shoes guilt free.