Why is ok to say, skinny and not fat?

[Kazmar]

I dont believe in making people feel crappy, about themselves etc.

But for as long as I can remember I have ahd "Gee your skinny" and be looked up and down like Im sick?!

Im not sick, Im 54kgs and long, I eat like a horse!

What Im getting at is why do people think its ok to say this, yet I never hear people say to somebody "Gee, you've stacked on the weight!" Or "Your fat, arn't you!"



When I was younger I would get these comments and HATED my weight Its still with me to question how I look. I hate it. Just because Im thin doesn't mean I love my body etc.



So tell me, why do you think its ok/ not ok?

[boomba]

aww hun I have no idea...but know how you feel...well the old me does lol!

[diannescruffy]

I could have written that myself. I've got that too all my life "geez how skinny are you". I always felt that I must look sick. I think people just don't realise that for some people it is so hard to put on weight just as some people struggle to loose weight.

Regards,
Dianne

[Rouge]

I don't think it is. Which is why I use neither word, and if someone says it to you and you don't like it then I would definitely say something about it.

The reason I think it's ok is because generally when I grew up you strived to be skinny it was a positive thing. Where as being fat was a negative kwim?

I think now thanks to extremely underweight celebrities skinny has also become a negative.

[Bumperstump Cummerbund]

I say that to a couple of my friends all the time I freely admit, its a jealousy thing - I wish I was as skinny as them! And I can pretty well guarantee that, while they may want to put on weight, they definitely don't wanna be my size. I've told them I'm happy to donate my extra to them, and then we'll both be more happy, LOL.

And for the record - people do say, 'wow, you've stacked on the weight' as well as other horrible things. I hate eating in public, because some people look at an overweight person eating and automatically judge them, and if no-ones ACTUALLY judging, I feel like they're judging. I was shocked at the comments my husband got from friends a few months after we got married, and from shop assistants when we went to buy him a suit recently - NOTHING like what gets said to women, no-one would dare say those things to a woman. 'Geez mate, you're obviously spending more time in the fridge than the bedroom', 'No mate, you're certainly a big boy, we just don't go that far up', - and that's just SOME!

*off soapbox*

[Kazmar]

I say that to a couple of my friends all the time I freely admit, its a jealousy thing - I wish I was as skinny as them! And I can pretty well guarantee that, while they may want to put on weight, they definitely don't wanna be my size. I've told them I'm happy to donate my extra to them, and then we'll both be more happy, LOL.

And for the record - people do say, 'wow, you've stacked on the weight' as well as other horrible things. I hate eating in public, because some people look at an overweight person eating and automatically judge them, and if no-ones ACTUALLY judging, I feel like they're judging. I was shocked at the comments my husband got from friends a few months after we got married, and from shop assistants when we went to buy him a suit recently - NOTHING like what gets said to women, no-one would dare say those things to a woman. 'Geez mate, you're obviously spending more time in the fridge than the bedroom', 'No mate, you're certainly a big boy, we just don't go that far up', - and that's just SOME!

*off soapbox*

Thats so bad!!!!!

I have had people ask me how I can eat so much and stay skinny "So you go throw that back up, do you?"

Clearly people dont realise people come in all different shapes. I do admit I do worry if someone is obviously sick whether it be skinny or fat, kwim?

[Traveller]

I don't think it's ok at all. If I was to comment on someones weight I would more likely say "you are so slim, what a beautiful figure" or "what's your secret, you look amazing". However more ofetn I just would not comment on someone weight because it is non of my business. I grew up being called fat and overly aware of how I looked and don't ever want to make someone feel like I did. The same applies during pregnancy when for some reason people think it's ok so say women are massive or fat. I stick to "what a beautiful bump" because not only is it flattering, it is also always true. I have never seen a non beautiful pregnant belly.

[krisp]

People simply don't think!

My sister used to tell me all the time that I was fat. I am 5'10", a size 12 on the bottom and 10 on the top and 70 kg's I am clearly not fat! She was always very very thin about a size 6-8 which for someone as tall as us is pretty thin. She is now considerably bigger in fact she's about a size 20 but I would never ever ever taunt her about being fat! I worry about her health I do admit, but I would never use the "F" word to her.

Some people just say things that can be hurtful without even realising it.

[misty]

I think it is 'socially acceptable' to say 'skinny' but not 'fat', because people aspire to be skinny, no-one really aspires to be fat.

Now just because that is what society 'accepts' doesn't mean it isn't rude to say either. It is rude to comment on anothers weight regardless of if they are fat or skinny. On of the factors that lead me to gain weight was being teased as a child for being too skinny. Looking back at photos, I wasn't too skinny, just had a slight build. Now I don't have to worry about that, instead I get to worry about people commenting about how much 'bigger' I am and how I look good loosing weight, but how it is a 'shame about my belly' (lots of loose skin makes a buldge). People are idiots. As if I cann't see and judge my own flaws without their help.

[diannescruffy]

Another thing that would annoy me to no end was during my pregnancies as I carried small. When people would ask how many wks I was the look of shock on their faces. I got comments like "you know you should be eating for two" or "is there something wrong with your baby".

Regards,
Dianne

[Kazmar]

Another thing that would annoy me to no end was during my pregnancies as I carried small. When people would ask how many wks I was the look of shock on their faces. I got comments like "you know you should be eating for two" or "is there something wrong with your baby".

Regards,
Dianne

Omg people are really stupid!

I just dont like the tone. A friend told me "Gee you're so skinny, its discusting" ummmmmm, she's a size 8! She's hardly a big girl

My dad used to just tell me to tell people I have hollow legs

[Inanna]

It is very interesting isn't it how people fee free to make comment on one's weight? It can be very hurtful no matter where on the spectrum you happen to sit.
I think though sometimes people just blurt without realising or maybe even think commenting on "thinness" is a compliment. I am sure some people are just rude & nasty but I do think most times people don't think before engaging their oral muscles...

[Traveller]

When I was a new mother of of the mums in my mums group explained how she lost her first child hours after birth. He was born at 32 weeks, having not grown properly (IUGR) and with her subsequent pregnancy she had frequent growth scans to check her baby. She told me how every time someone said he had a small bump she would turn up in tears at her doctors office demanding a scan to check her baby was growing. It really made me think about what I say with regards to a woman's bump size, hence why I never even comment on a bump being neat or small.

With the twins though I was so massive people could not help but comment. I used to joke my belly entered a room 5 mins before the rest of me

[Livinthedream]

Some folks soo dont think.
I read something years ago about how you can beat up on someone who smokes/drinks, but tell a fat person to stop eating macca's and its the end of the world.
So weird. LOL

[Rouge]

*facepalm*

So it's ok to use a derogative term like fatty to make a point...?

[ladybird11]

Maybe its the whole media thing where they always show skinny (sometimes anorexic) which gives some people the idea that skinny is acceptable, therefore calling someone skinny must be ok...right?

Wrong, I think. When I lost all my excess weight so many people told me I was too skinny etc. I too was eating healthily and exercising. I am just leading a healthy lifestyle. I'm in the 'normal' weight range.

I guess its considered taboo to call someone fat, just as in the past picking on smokers was not acceptable either. But times have changed, some people probably almost feel its their duty to tell someone to stop smoking (I am guilty since losing Mum to lung cancer) for health reasons. But still, calling someone fat, while absolutely tactless, doesn't really help the situation either.

Can someone remind me, do more people die of smoking or obesity each year? What 'category' costs tax payers more to remedy.

Sorry, I've probably gone waaay off topic and I'm just rambling now.

[Livinthedream]

*facepalm*

So it's ok to use a derogative term like fatty to make a point...?

LOL,Ok, will edit. But see my point, its perfectly acceptable to tell a smoker how disgusting and smelly they are, but the word fatty is wrong?

2 different addictions ( and I have had both-only got the fat one to give up LOL) But at the end of the day, same cure. Abstinence....

[Rouge]

I think the reason being is that being overweight doesn't always mean unhealthy life style or overeating.

Thank you for editing it It's actually good to talk about these things though.