I do think it is very, very individual. We've taken Pip to about 4 funerals - his grandfather's, his great-aunt and great-uncle, and his DH's bestie's mum. Will came to the last one as well. Each time they were there for the comfort he/they gave to DH - at DH's dad's funeral, the family wanted him there - life continues. I think though that you have to be prepared for a swift exit if there's any noise / distraction.
When my oma died DS came to the funeral. DH was there as well though and so when DS got antsy he could take him outside to avoid disrupting the service.
If your DD can behave in the ceremony, I would. I'd be honest and explain that people are going to be sad and crying. It's OK to be sad sometimes, especially when someone dies.
For me, DS isn't that great at behaving as a small adult. So if it were a close family member, I'd try - but be ready to take DS out. Or provide him with a computer game and headphones.
I'll admit, I'm very anti-kids at funerals. So, please forgive me if this comes off a bit harsh.
My grandfather passed away last year and my aunt and uncle *had* to take my cousins to the funeral for the "grieving process" and to "teach them about death".
My 2 brothers didn't go, as they couldn't handle it, they were 11 and 13. It was just too hard for them.
My cousins (13, 9 and 5) all walked into the church and was handed colouring books and pencils. At their grandfather's funeral.
It was beyond rediculous.
DH's grandfather is due to pass away soon, and there is NO WAY that i'm taking DD (10 months) to a funeral.
I just don't agree with it.
Registered User
all the best.
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