We've taken ours to 2 funerals, DH's grandparents. Nobody minded, in fact we had a few comments that people were glad they were there. I personally don't think it's inappropriate as it's a part of life, but it's so individual and all families are different so it's really what you feel comfortable with.
DS has been to a funeral (not with us), but on the day Mum has him, her and her partner had a funeral of a family friend and wanted to go, Mum asked if I minded if she took DS (She was happy not to go if I wasn't happy with it) and I was fine. I was more worried about him being disruptive but Mum said he wasn't, and just seemed to 'understand' the mood and the surroundings. Towards the end when he got a little fidgety Mum's partner took him outside for some fresh air.
I've been to lots of funerals with kids - young and old! I agree with Laranna, its part of life and in most cases I think its appropriate, especially when the kids have been a part of the deceased persons life
I think it depends whose funeral it is..I would'nt just take them off to anyones funeral it would have to a family member or friend.
Our kids have been to several funerals family members & a close friends husband..I think for us it was important to honour their memory with the presence of our kids, they loved them and wanted to be around them..In life no one was worried about a bit noise and certainly if it was to the point of affecting other people we would be prepared to go outisde etc..
For us it would feel wrong NOT to take the kids.
Yes. I was the toddler, and nobody wanted me there from what I can gather. Least of all Mum. It was my Father's funeral. My sister and I were sent to a babysitter while the rest of the family (older brother and sister and cousins etc) all went to the service and said their goodbyes. I know I was only a baby, but it upsets me to know that I wasn't there to say goodbye to my own Dad.
- Just wanted to offer a different perspective.
For me, it would depend on my relationship with the deceased and their family. If we were close, I would check with them first and let them know I'm prepared to miss the service and take DS outside if he gets cranky. If I wasn't particularly close with the family, I probably wouldn't take DS. (he's only 6mths right now though, not a toddler).
We did when Andrew's grandmother passed. Had no choice really. Had to drive from Adelaide to Geelong for the funeral. Having said that though I can't actually remember him being there, but I know he was cause I can recall him being at the Cabins where we stayed and there would have been no one to look after him in the cabins on the day of the funeral. We however opted out of going to the actual burial. We just did the service.
When my DH Nan passed away I was in a similar situation. It was also a Daycare day. So I went half way I put my 2 children in daycare for the morning, then after the service and burial I went and picked them up (had a change of clothes so they weren't in there daycare clothes) and then I brought them to the wake so family and friends could still see them.
Not sure if that is an option for you, luckily we live in a small town so everything is nearby.
We've decided we will take her. DH wants her there and that's what it comes down to really. I'm prepared to take her out if need be, but I think she'll be fine. I remember at my mum's funeral I was sitting next to my aunt with DD, 7 months, on my lap. When my aunt started crying, DD reached out and put her hand on her arm.
I also spoke to DH's cousin and she won't be taking her 14 month old because she knows she won't sit still long enough. Cousin did say that DD is more than welcome if we want her there.
forshelby - I just wanted to offer you a big for not being allowed to attend your father's funeral. I was 13 when my dad died and couldn't imagine not being there to say goodbye.
hi, we took my 2.5yo and 4mo to my grandfathers funeral two weeks ago. My grandma really appreciated them being there, as did my mum. they are used to having to sit through church services though and so they were quite well behaved. personally I found it helpful to have my baby to hold on to whilst crying. I wouldn't take them to a non-family member's funeral though.
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for not being allowed to attend your father's funeral. I was 13 when my dad died and couldn't imagine not being there to say goodbye.
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