Unfortunately I think people who are well off forget sometimes what its like to be average!
I've been in both circumstances over the past few years, & now that I've been there, I was so careful with my wedding!

Its definately hard - I know when DH's sister got married 2yrs ago, we were struggling financially - DH had just changed careers & was on a commission only basis for the first 12 months... right in the middle of her wedding!
I was a bridesmaid, he was a groomsman, and our son was the pageboy - add up 2 suits, a dress, shoes x3, hair, makeup, accommodation for 3 nights in Double Bay (!!!) and just food & expenses while we were away... It nearly killed us!!
2 weeks before all of the boys went to Qld for the bucks weekend and played golf for 3 days... We almost didn't make it $$$, took us months & months to catch up!

The only mistake I made was that I kept saying "It's fine" when I didn't know how the hell it would be... In the end, I had to say we were struggling, and they got the 2 suits for us.

Minimal considering the rest, but it was so appreciated by the time we got to the end of it!

Thats why I was so careful with our wedding to make sure everyone could only do what they could afford to.

If you let them know that things are tight, noone is uncomfortable (I know its a little hard for your pride - we were embarrassed saying that we just didn't have the money at the time, because we were always the ones previously that DID have the money)... but it brings everything back to reality.

Their level of expectancy, too, will drop and so you shouldn't be likely to be hit with any further costs (well, here's hoping so anyway! )

If they care about your DF enough that they want him to be the best man then the only thing they should care about is being able to have him there for the day... and none of the other material issues xxx

Good Luck hun xxx