I am lonely

[lilima]

I have lived in a largish town close to Melbourne for the past 5 years. All of my friends live up to 2 hours the other side of Melbourne. I moved here because of DH'swork. I would really like tp still be the other side of Melbourne near my family. I never really realized I was lonely until DSwent to school. I am home with DD, and work part time too. The girls at work are more than 10 years younger and very immature. My good friend from work left, so I don't even have a close friend there.

This year there were only 5 new prep families, so most of the mums already know each other. So I go to the school and stand by myself till the bell goes. I am not good at just approaching people. So I actually don't even really know how to make friends.

I can't really join any social clubs etc, as DH is a shift worker, so I can't commit to anything!

Any ideas to help me make new friends?

[danita]

No real advice but I'm the same Im lonely too, I have my sister who lives close but I don't see her that often.

Could you go along to some play groups with Your DD or start kindy gym or something?

Hope you find something soon being lonely sucks

[Artechim]

Invite a friend of DS's over to play? Joining the PTA (they are usually quite flexible if you can only make every second or third meeting because of shift work)? Kids activities are generally good ice breakers. Is there a toy library in town? Any BBer's in your town?

It is really hard to make friends.

[~ Zarava Flutterby ~]

Check for a local BB group?
Story time at the library?


Sent from my iPhone, more than likely while I should be doing something else!

[lilima]

The play group is on a day that I work. She goes with DH. The days I am home we have swimming, and gym. The mums are nice enough there, but the people going seem to change from term to term.
It also clashes with story time at library.
I have joined the tuck shop roster at the school. Maybe I should try and join some more activities through the school.
I should invite some of DS's friends over more often.

[Tinks]

Ask the mums at swimming or gym if they want to go to the park with you and your kids after the class.

[fionas]

I agree that swimming, kindergym and story time are good in theory but sometimes not so great in practice for making friends. I've been to all of them and haven't made any friends though it's still nice to go, get out of the house and have a bit of chit chat.

I definitely think that asking the kids for a playdate is the way to go. Playgrounds can sometimes be good if you hit it off with someone.

Does your community have a neighbourhood house? Maybe there is something you could be involved with there as a volunteer.

Totally get how hard it is when your partner is a shiftworker - mine is too and it makes joining committees with evening meetings etc. very difficult. I think I'm going to just bite the bullet and join some things and get a babysitter if need be. I can't permanently put my life on hold because of DP's shifts.

[Phteven]

It is a total pain not being able to commit because your of DH's work.

Maybe ask some children home for playdates at yours so you can spend some time with their Mums.

[~Kim~]

Oh mate I can sympathise totally.
Are your DH's team mates social? I've made some great friends from the 'wives of...'
Maybe you guys could organise a team BBQ or something?

[~ Mylitta ~]

Just wondering if you might want to post the area you live in and maybe there might be some BBers close by interested in meeting you

[HotI]

We met heaps of people through the CFA, and it works for shift work families too (DH is a shift worker). There are all sorts of jobs, not just firefighting.

[lilima]

I am actually going for a weekend away with some of the wives from DHs work in august. But they are all spread out about 40 mins in every direction. I just don't have anyone here (or close surrounding towns) that I am close with. It bums me the most doing school pick up and pretty much standing on my own. Said hi to some mums today. They said hi back, but went on with their own conversations. So I didn't say anything else. I have taken to sitting in the car till the last possible second.
I don't think there are any other BB's here in Gisborne.
I have asked DS who he wants to invite over, and go from there. I have also invited one of te swimming mums over for her DD to have a play. Our DDs will be in school together.

[fionas]

I'm in Woodend so just up the road. We go to the Gisborne playground quite regularly - happy to meet up

[ebn_d]

I'm in Melton and happy to catch up. Also I have a playgroup I go to if you would be interested in coming to Melton for one. Pm me if your interested. I find the mums really welcoming and most of them are older (I'm a bit of a younger mum but tend to fit better with older anyway)

[blessedatlast]

Yay for BBers in your area! It can be hard to make friends. I love meeting new people. Sometimes building friendships means you have to take the first step. Sounds like you have though!! It's awful feeling lonely.

[~ Mylitta ~]

I'm about half an hour away in Caroline Springs, but more than happy to meet up. I'm also in Bacchus Marsh on Tuesday mornings while my son is at Montessori for a couple of hours

[lilima]

Thanks everyone for your replies. I work tues, wed and thurs.
Woodend is just up the rd if you would like to catch up Fiona. Do you ever go to Jets free play at Gisborne on Friday morning? I take Miss E there. I won't be there his Fri, but will be the following.

[fionas]

We're free Fridays too. We tend to go to kindergym on Fri mornings in Woodend but happy to do something different. What is it and what time?