I agree that swimming, kindergym and story time are good in theory but sometimes not so great in practice for making friends. I've been to all of them and haven't made any friends though it's still nice to go, get out of the house and have a bit of chit chat.

I definitely think that asking the kids for a playdate is the way to go. Playgrounds can sometimes be good if you hit it off with someone.

Does your community have a neighbourhood house? Maybe there is something you could be involved with there as a volunteer.

Totally get how hard it is when your partner is a shiftworker - mine is too and it makes joining committees with evening meetings etc. very difficult. I think I'm going to just bite the bullet and join some things and get a babysitter if need be. I can't permanently put my life on hold because of DP's shifts.