Non-Drivers Cooee!!!!!! - Your Reasons And Will They Change?

[Indadhanu]

GothMum, you're very lucky to have had the experiences and the parents that you had, and that your confidence has never taken a beating. Some of us obviously aren't half as lucky as you in both areas.

[krysalyss]

Hey there. I am a driver but am becoming more and more a non-driver - by riding a bicyle. We have a kids seat called a weeride (they sit at the front not the back) for the times that DS is with me and I also ride to work more often than not. I started riding back in December but before that I hadn't ridden for at least 15 years. But it is actually very nice riding instead of driving. Just something to think about

[Astrid]

GothMum, you're very lucky to have had the experiences and the parents that you had, and that your confidence has never taken a beating. Some of us obviously aren't half as lucky as you in both areas.

:yeahthat: and I am sorry Gothmum, but I think your post was out of place even though it may have been well intended. It takes a lot of courage to admit to a fear or dislike of driving.

[Glamourcide]

I am sorry for causing any offense... obviously none was intended!! For what it's worth, I don't think there's any shame in being apprehensive about driving - even I get scared of the possibilites, and wonder sometimes about the risks of being on the road, when I read or watch news reports about the horrific road toll...

I *do* consider myself very lucky to have had the experiences I have had, and to have been lucky enough up till this point to have not had any major scares - and I do feel for those of you who *have* had negative experiences which have impacted on your confidence when it comes to driving... but again, I don't think it's anything that you should feel 'ashamed' of, at all.

So... sorry for any offense I've caused, girls I reckon good on you for not letting a lack of a driver's licence stand in your way of being free - like I said, a big part of my day-to-day existence involves a car and sometimes it's exhausting, I really wish I had the ability to get from A to B without one!

[Fleur]

I am surprised at the amount of non-drivers here, I always thought it was just me & was more than a bit embarrassed

I didn't get my license until I was 26... I had my DD at 17 and I never had the money for the test, or the car...and never really saw a need for it, as where we lived had pretty good public transport.
Although I did think it might make things easier, there was just always something else to spend the money on... so I 'got by' for years without it.

Then when we decided to move I told DH i wouldn't go until I had my license & a car... I got my auto license & then moved to the GC a month later, so I basically 'learnt' to drive (in a practical sense) here in much bigger traffic than what I was used to.

I will admit the first 18 months were pretty scary & I didn't go very far, but my confidence has grown heaps & I am now the preferred driver, I will do 2-3-4 hr trips, I don't like letting DH drive and I LOVE the independence & being able to do what I want, when I want. This will be my first baby that I have had while being a 'driver' and I can't wait to see what a difference it might make!

In my case it was mostly circumstances that kept me from driving so long, but I also think as an older 'learner' or non-driver. you are more aware of what can go wrong.. I was much more apprehensive at 25 than I was at 17 (when I first got my learners). And I don't think that's a bad thing if it makes you careful.

Although I definitely LOVE having it now, I don't regret having left it so long, I think it was just how it was for me, one day I was 'ready' to do it, sounds to me like you are too...

Good luck & happy driving!

[STARRYSKY]

hehe...just thought id let u guys know, im booked in for a lesson nest week. eek! hopefully it will go well....will let you know!

[Astrid]

hehe...just thought id let u guys know, im booked in for a lesson nest week. eek! hopefully it will go well....will let you know!

Ooh - good luck

[Rivlas]

Now you have made the first appointment you will be fine. A little scared but after the first lesson you will be ready for the next one.

All the best for and look forward to hearing you have passed in a few months time.

[krysalyss]

It may not help but then again it may so I will share.
When I went through driving lessons I had the worst teacher. He was so awful and treated me quite nastily. Anyway just as I was going to quit he quit instead and I got transferred to a new teacher. He really built up my confidence again. One thing he told me that struck me and has stayed with me, was "Driving a car isn't rocket science. Look how many people drive. If that many people can learn to drive then you can too".
Just remember driving is a skill. It is simply something that is learnt and practiced, not a genetic gift from your parents or luck. Just take it at your own pace and you will be fine.

[STARRYSKY]

hey, thanks guys, encouragement is good...im eating it all up and licking the plate
xx

[Astrid]

"Driving a car isn't rocket science. Look how many people drive. If that many people can learn to drive then you can too".

That is very true. When I was a non driver I used to be amazed at some the people that drove. It does get to me at times that some complete nufnufs are much better at parking than me

[STARRYSKY]

just thought id let you all know, driving lesson is in approx 30 mins!!!
stay off the road for the next hour if youre in adelaide!!!

[Rivlas]

Looking forward to hearing that you went really well, why did I write that, I know you did, even with the nerves

[STARRYSKY]

Thanks rivlas!! It actually went really well! My driving instructor is FANTASTIC!!!
she speaks in a very well modulated voice, even tone, so calm and reassuring...it was great, cant wait for my next one, I will be a drivin mama in no time!!(fingers crossed!)

[Bathsheba]

*hands up* I have never had a full licence... my Learners expired after 10 years. I can't remember the last time I drove a car... over 5 years at least. I used to drive a bit when DH and I did interstate car trips... I would drive for an hour at a time to give him a break... sometimes I enjoyed it... but often other drivers were quite rude... I never did over 110 and I think that annoyed people on the open country roads. And that's basically why I don't drive. Not because I don't trust my own skills but because I don't trust other peoples. I've had impatient people pass me on the left... fly through round abouts without even slowing or seeing me waiting there... the list goes on. So, I'm not putting my life at the mercy of other people's selfish reckless driving.... and especially not the lives of my children.... we're much safer on the train/bus/tram thanks. However... if we moved to the country I could reconsider. Only as a compromise. DH doesn't want to move to the country at all... I do.... to be closer to family. And this is the only thing I can offer to help change his mind

Our car sits in the drive way (mostly) between Mondays and Fridays. It gets driven for about 20 mins max on the weekends (on average). I rarely ask DH to drive me anywhere... out of pride I guess. Although ATM I am doing a Red Cross First Aid course at it goes quite late so DH drives me for that. I feel ok about asking him for this occasion because I am doing something that will ultimately benefit our whole family. DH relies on me to do first aid on a regular basis for him and the kids... and the neighbours etc! Once DH and I were the first on the scene to a terrible car accident... he freaked... I dealt with it... so he honestly doesn't mind contributing to Red Cross training. I would never ask him to drive me somewhere for my (for example) entertainment... or to buy a pair of shoes etc. And I rarely, if ever ask people to drive me places unless they are already going there or they offer first. I don't think it's fair of me to do that. I feel that I should take full responsibility for my decision not to drive. And yes I do feel judged. But hey... you can't please everyone.

At the end of the day I figure if we had to pay for the full upkeep and running of a car that was driven daily we would be in proportionally less financially comfortable for the "return" IYKWIM? DH commutes by train... I walk or catch public transport... our car did under 5000km in 2 years (we checked before the last service. I really don't feel that i miss out on much. I feel kinda proud of my ability to get almost anywhere via public transport.... and now that Melbourne has the new SmartBus service (each stop has an electronic display telling you how many minutes away the next bus is.... like at the train stations)... look out Chadstone here I come! Often getting to the other side of the city required going into the CBD (mostly)... making travelling a axel and spoke affair (ie picture a bicycle wheel... having to go into the middle... not being able to cross the spokes) but I reckon that public transport will keep getting better. Even over the past 5 years it's become easier to take your pram onto previously tricky busses and trams. I'm very optimistic that it will continue to get even more user friendly for parents with prams.

Anyhow... to sum up... I would consider driving... but most likley not in a major city... most likely only where I "had to" like a country town. Though... I know my body would show it if I drove. I would definitely gain weight. Sometimes I think the only reason I can add cream to my coffee, and basically never diet is the fact that I walk so much. Oh and my kids wouldn't be as fit. My DD is the fastest runner in her year level.... has been for years... she's incredibly fit... all from scurrying along next to fast-walking mum!

[Rivlas]

Fantastic, it make a big difference when the instructor is calm and easy to talk to.

Don't even have to cross fingers for you as you are now on the road to driving (sorry about pun) and will get your licence when you are ready.

Just think by Christmas you will be able to drive to the shops and enjoy the Christmas rush

[STARRYSKY]

hey bath, I can sooo relate to all you posted, I am exactly the same, irt to feeling like I have to take responsibility for not driving......but it will be nice to not have to stay somewhere overnight because dp has had too much to drink, once I can drive, I can drive us home. since having ds, I dont drink very much, if at all these days.
Also I dont particularly want to make driving a habitual thing, I think the same about my weight and I just know that driving in itself would have an impact on that, I dont want to get lazy and start driving to the shop around the corner, but it will be nice to not have to wait for it to stop raining first!

[SophieRose]

I tried getting my L's five times when i was 16-17. But annoyingly i freak out too much in test conditions and failed from nerves. I KNOW it was nerves cause i had spent three weeks studying for the test, and any questions people in my family would throw at me, i'd get right straight away, you couldn't trick me.

So cause of the whole thing i just never went for my test again.