I always think that my dh was always about 6 months behind me in his attitude to IVF eg. when I was ready to go to see a FS, it took him approx 6 months to agree, it then took him a while to agree once IVF was our confirmed option). When we started IVF (nearly 12 months ago) i thought we would keep going till we had our baby, where as DH only wanted to do 1, and then when it did not work, 2 stim cycles. He is now thinking we will keep going till we get our baby (but according to him we are stopping at 1...i'm just giving him time to come around to the 3 that I want ).

DH is no where as strong as I am on wanting kids - if we did not have them, life for him would go on as normal - he would be sad but that is about it. At first this really bothered me, and i thought that we were just doing this because of me but then we started IVF and had to see a councillor. She was really good and explained that often men dont have the same desire/calling to have a baby - for them, until the baby is born it is a take it or leave it proposition. Then they see the baby born and cry (her words not mine!). So dont think it is unusual for your dh to take things at a different pace - i think it is normal. I guess the biggest thing is to keep talking about it and to understand how each of you are feeling...which is another good piece of advice the councillor gave us. She suggested setting aside a regular time to talk about TTC and IVF eg 10 minutes every day when you go for a walk after work etc (but not at meal times) why? well women tend to get obsessed about having a baby and go on about it all the time, often annoying the hell out of dh (hmm - i fit there), but making a regular time it stops us from doing that and also makes you decide what the really important things are that you need to say to each other are. It also make sure you do have that time to talk and think about it.

As for finding people to talk to you, I think you find out who your true friends are going thru IVF, and while your friends are not having babies can be a bad thing as they dont understand your desire to have one and the saddness that you may have trouble, it can be easier than having to deal with them talking about their own kids were they to have them. So there are upsides and downsides. I think in the end it is only those who are going through or have gone through IVF and similar that really understand the stress of this, which is where BB comes in - it is a great support.

Good luck and I hope you dont have to follow down the IVF pathway.
FG