Page 6 of 8 FirstFirst ... 45678 LastLast
Results 91 to 108 of 144

Thread: Donor Conception General Chatter #1

  1. #91

    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Western Sydney
    Posts
    1,109

    Default

    Hi Lulu,

    Good luck with everything - fingers crossed.

    Hi BecE,

    I'm sad for you that you lost your little one. Makes it hard when you can't talk to many people about your situation. May I recommend you read Ken Daniel's book (if you haven't already). May help with the secrecy versus privacy issues.

    Hi SuziQ,

    My plan is at the moment to tell my child literally from day one. I want to get the picturebook "Sometimes it takes 3 to make a baby". Both our families know that we are using DI, however I will talk to them about our privacy and that we would like to tell our child first. I am not going to tell them the identity of the SD at this stage - I was thinking I would wait until at least 3 months into the pregnancy. And seeing I've not got to that stage yet...

    As for other kids, well unfortunately kids will find something to hassle someone else about. When I first read your posting I said to my DH 'maybe we train our child to say "and your mother/father wears army boots" whenever someone says something like this to him/her'. This was something my dad used to say under his breath when people annoyed him. DH was secretly delighted, but I don't think that this would be teaching our child to respect others!!

    Ok now it's vent time...

    I've had a really up and down week. I had a follow up call from the counsellor. She was initially checking up to see what the response had been from my SD (who, BTW is all over the place because he has to move home), which was a good thing for her to do. However she reduced me to tears when she started asking questions about what was happening between DH and me. For whatever reason, I feel that she is more concerned about DH, rather than giving me support.

    I feel like we got off to a bad start day one. I was p*%%$# off with DH at the time about his work, and I wasn't holding back. She still refers to it and that was 2 1/2 years ago. This view of me was not helped when I saw her for the second time in full crying mood after a kid had run me into a wall at school. I was on treatment and VERY hormonal. She was bewildered by my reaction. The last time she told me to change my tone when I was questioning DH (a technique she had advised). When I got home I said to DH that if he wanted to say something he needed to say it, without me being forced to ask him questions. I am sick of being treated like a pushy b*&^&.



    Now, I'm quite sure that I am probably overreacting, and taking things too personally. How do I fix this? I thought I could talk to her one on one on Monday (I'm seeing the FS then, and thought about seeing her afterwards). My best friend advised saying to her that I should just say that I am doing the best that I can, and I need her support, not judgement. Has anyone else had this problem?

  2. #92

    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    NSW
    Posts
    842

    Default

    Hi Bec and welcome
    How did it all go yesterday Lulu? Here to hold your hand over the next 2 weeks
    Gargy, IMHO, I'd say "stuff the counsellor". The thing I've found with the three 'IVF' counsellors I've seen over the years is that they know bugger all about IVF!!!! They certainly don't understand the emotions of it all. Seems to me she is trying to be a marriage guidance counsellor. Given that couples who have children the 'normal' way don't have to go through this - it's none of her goddamn business. She can't prevent you from having your IVF cycle (as far as I know). So, next time she calls just tell her all is fine and as for talking to her one on one - give it the big miss. She's only going to try and delve into things that probably aren't even 'things' - she's just making it that way.

  3. #93

    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Western Sydney
    Posts
    1,109

    Default

    Thanks SuziQ - yet again you've made me feel better. And that is EXACTLY how I feel, that she is trying to be a marriage counsellor. Given we have been married for 12 years and I have been wih DH since I was 18, and have gone through all these issues, and survived, I think we are doing ok in terms of our relationship. I'm glad you told me you've had 3 counsellors - that puts it in pespective. You're brilliant!! Have a fantastic day.

  4. #94

    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Darwin, NT
    Posts
    357

    Default

    Thank you Gargy and SuziQ, you have been helpful and generous.

    I'd just love life to be simple for everyone - but clearly it's just NOT! But, what is wonderful is that there are such places where people can seek comradery and support from others who understand.

    Have a lovely weekend!

  5. #95

    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    1,226

    Default

    Hi SuzyQ,

    All went fine. Will be under 2 weeks this time as they transferred embies (which multiplied after defrosting..) 3 DPO..so I wait..

    Lulu

  6. #96

    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    1,226

    Default

    oh boy..had transfer on friday and some blood already today. makes me 6DPO. AF not due till 28 Feb. I have been reading some sites about this 'implantation' bleeding...and they all talking about a little brown blood. well this was red red. will keep u posted..am not a happy girl..Lulu

  7. #97

    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Western Australia
    Posts
    2,300

    Default

    Aww Lulu please dont loose hope. I have had implantation bleeding at it was pinky/red...not brown. Not very heavy and only lasting the day.

    Jo

  8. #98

    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Western Sydney
    Posts
    1,109

    Default

    Lulu,

    Fingers crossed that everything will be ok for you...

    Hi everyone,

    Went to FS today. Back on the pill to get the bleeding back under control (last month bled for 12 days, this month it has already been going for 10). He's happy that I had the HSG and I am back on Metformin.

    SD will be coming over this weekend to talk about where to from here. After that he has to go to the counsellor, and then we have to go to the counsellor as a group (yes unfortunately the same one I was bitterly complaining about earlier, but if I keep it to specifics about the IVF process and don't let her blunder into other things it should be ok).

    I also had a chat to the counsellor at school - much more sympathetic! I'd gone in there to refer a student and we just fell into the conversation when she asked me about my future plans with work (she knew I'd applied for a job last year). Nice to know I have her support, even if she is a very busy lady! I also had a chat with a few people at work - I'm not as isolated as I thought I was.

    Slowly, slowly moving forward!

    Gargy

  9. #99

    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    NSW
    Posts
    842

    Default

    Lulu I'm pretty confident that bleeding is just from the actual transfer itself. Sometimes they can scrape/scratch and it takes a couple of days for the blood to come out. Implantation bleeding usually happens around 7 - 10 days after ET (I think). So, settle petal!!!!
    Gargy, glad you found a nice counsellor to talk with. I don't know why IVF counsellors involved with DC think they are born to lord it over everyone. Hope all goes well with your SD on the weekend.

  10. #100

    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Melbourne, Australia
    Posts
    1,002

    Default

    Lulu,
    far too early to be AF so don't even think about that. I know the 2ww can do your head but stay positive - from what Jo says, it sounds like a good sign rather than bad. for you
    Gargy - hope the pill does the trick. very annoying though that you have to use it when you are TTC. good luck.

  11. #101

    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Sydney
    Posts
    1,226

    Default

    Gargy, SuziQ and Anney...thanks!!

    Had a little more today and am not feeling too confident at all..but I'll just sit it out and keep you posted.

    Thanks guys...Lulu

  12. #102

    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Central Victoria
    Posts
    219

    Default

    Lulu - just ducking in to say that I'm keeping everything crossed for you. xoxo

    Marg

  13. #103

    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Western Sydney
    Posts
    1,109

    Default

    Just confirming some information...

    Being on the pill for a couple of months is not going to affect my chances for doing IUI and IVF in the future because once I start up again on one of these programs my ovaries will be artificially simulated again to produce an egg.

    When people are TTC using normal methods it takes 3 - 12 months for the pill to get out of their system and for them to return to a normal cycle.

    Is this correct?

    Gargy

  14. #104

    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Melbourne, Australia
    Posts
    1,002

    Default

    Gargy,
    My understanding is that it does not really take that long to get the pill out of your system. some people get pregnant the month after being on the pill so I guess, like most things to do with TTC, it varies with different people. But really there is no time needed to get it out of your system as really, as soon as you stop taking it , it is out of your system. some people will just take a bit longer to get back to "normal". that is how I understand it.

  15. #105

    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    NSW
    Posts
    842

    Default

    Well ladies...
    A wonderful lady, Heather from Lismore, has offered to be my Egg Donor. She is a lovely lady and I don't think I will ever be able to express the gratitude and respect I feel for her. Such an enormous gift to offer. She has three children - the eldest only started school this year, a three year old and a bub five weeks old. Her hands are full yet she is fully focussed on helping me become a mum.
    We have been chatting daily for around a month and yesterday she told me she wants to 'commit'. We're looking to meet IRL in July and have our initial consultations and counselling. All going well, we can kick off some time between September and December this year.
    I am completely overwhelmed - grinning, crying, grinning

  16. #106

    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Western Sydney
    Posts
    1,109

    Default

    Hi SuziQ,

    Must have been a good night for both of us! DH and I had our DS friend over for dinnner last night. DH went all out - he cooked Mussaman Beef Curry, Yellow Chicken Curry, Steam Veges and Roti from scratch - it was really important to him to do this for our DS friend.

    I went out for lunch with DH earlier that day when we were buying ingredients - and we went through all the questions I could think of, including the list below. I was treating it more like an adoption, and DH said, "no, I don't think that's how it will be".

    Anyway when my DS friend came over and we started discussing how it would be I was amazed how he 'got' it much more than I did, and the DH was also on the right path. I was also extremely surprised by how well the two got on together and how alike they were in nature and the way they thought. I have known both of these men for a very long time but in my stress and depression last week I'd forgotten how wonderful they both are.

    I was touched by how much our DS trusted and respected us. He spelled out that he never, ever will interfere. This made DH feel so much better. Anyway I grilled him for about two hours on all the questions that DH and I had gone through over lunch. Luckily we also had a very good wine so that helped (feeling slightly worse for wear this morning, but very, very happy.)

    I really feel that this has every chance of working! I'm so lucky to have such a good husband and such a good friend!

    DH and I were also going to go to a donor conception support function today but I think that this would be pushing it - one step at a time. May be better to leave this until the baby is on it's way or actually here.

    Anyway, thankyou all for all your help and support over the past few weeks - it was very much appreciated!!

  17. #107

    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Western Sydney
    Posts
    1,109

    Talking

    Hi everyone else too!

    I was so happy that I didn't realise that I had just addressed the last email to just SuziQ and not everyone! So thankyou SuziQ, and thankyou everyone else for all your help over the past few weeks! It was very much appreciated!!

    Jumping for Joy (or Earl - hee, hee)

    Gargy

  18. #108

    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Chickens.
    Posts
    4,989

    Default

    Oh Suzi, I'm so glad for you! Hoping your dream comes to fruition very very soon!
    And Gargy, that's great news from your SD, woohoo and I hope your journey is short and sweet!

Page 6 of 8 FirstFirst ... 45678 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •