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Thread: Donor Dialogue

  1. #37
    Teagan Guest

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    I didn't explain myself very well...Known donor is one which you know personally and have usually asked them to donate, identifiable donor is basically an anonymous donor at the moment but the child will be able to find out more information about them on their 18th birthday, and anonymous donor is one in which the child will never know any more details, they will never have any way to contact this person.

    Sue, sounds like you have an identifiable donor. Most clinics have stopped offering anonymous donors at all but it is not currently legislation so some donor clinics still offer anonymous donors. This is actually one of the reasons why there are so, so few donors at clinics anymore (and why some clinics who offer anonymous donors still have more donors on their lists). As Anney mentioned there was a show on 4 corners which I missed but I read the transcript...it was really interesting. But I feel that many women will be restricted from accessing donor insemination because there simply aren't enough men who want to be identified.



    Hi Anney...thankyou for your response. I can readily understand that. Just curious for arguements sake...if you didn't know someone who was willing or able to donate their eggs would that have an impact on how you feel about identifiable vs anonymous given the supply problem?

    There are so many good reasons why we have restictions placed on things but sometimes the flip side is really frustrating. For example in the states where sperm and eggs are able to be sold there is a readily available supply, but because in Australia we don't allow the sale of human tissue or organs, we don't allow the sale of sperm/eggs and consequently there is a supply problem. Which is now being compounded by the move towards identifiable donors. I do understand much of the reasoning towards protecting the rights of future offspring but it's also hard to look past the frustration of restricted options.

  2. #38

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    Hi Teagan,
    I am not sure if it is just in Victoria, but we have legislation that offspring must be allowed to contact their parents after they are 18 so in effect there is no such thing as anonymous donation here. I absolutely agree that by legislating this, although they are trying to protect the offspring, they are effectively legislating the offspring out of existence as not many people are going to donate if they know someone will probably contact them in 18 years - so with no sperm there will be no children!
    Paying for eggs and sperm is an interesting one. I am not sure that I agree with that but haven't decided yet.
    As for your question about us, my DH does not want someone unknown to us to be let into our lives, in such a personal way. So for us donation by someone we know is the only option. For me personally, I would take any option to have another child.

  3. #39

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    Hi Ladies,

    Just noticed this thread and wanted to come in and wish you all luck.

    Mel

  4. #40
    Teagan Guest

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    Hey Anney,

    I can understand your husband's desire to have a known donor for that reason. From what I understand (I think as you said) that coming by eggs is much more difficult that sperm.

    On the topic of buying and selling sperm/eggs I watched this almost strange program on cable about U.S. assisted conception where there was an organisation who were recruiting college age women into donating eggs. It did looked like big business, they put together profiles including a professional photo shoot!

    There is legislation on the table in NSW that is bringing in many of the provision set forth in the Victorian legislation. I feel slightly apprehensive about it because of the legislation in Victoria regarding martial status and access to treatment. But as yet I have not heard that they intend to restrict AC to married couple yet however.

  5. #41
    ^^Bekka^^ Guest

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    Suzi - :hugs:

  6. #42

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    Hi Bek and thanks. I'm doing fine.
    Has your intro been posted in AED yet?
    Sue

  7. #43
    ^^Bekka^^ Guest

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    Sue - Glad to hear you are doing ok. I have not r'cd anything yet from AED might email them this afternoon if I get a chance. Take care of yourself.

    Love Bek

  8. #44

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    Hey Teagan
    So sorry to hear AF arrived. Have you spoken to the clinic? I've never had AI so not sure what they do after a BFN. Do you still go for a beta? Will you have the same procedure again?
    And you're right - BFN and PMT together are bad. A real lethal ****tail!!!
    Take care of your heart.
    Love
    Sue

  9. #45

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    Hi Shannon
    The ladies at AED are all very supportive and kind. You'll learn so much from them. See you there some time.
    Sue

  10. #46

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    Wasn't sure & just wanted to check something:
    I noticed in the Sunday paper (in the health section) one of the Perth fertility clinics had a good size ad requesting donors, offering $50,
    is that how it works/common.
    (Sorry if it sounds like a 'blonde' (yes, I am) question)

  11. #47

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    It's ok Tam, you can be a blonde. It's nice when people who aren't in the 'donor' territory take an interest.
    I'm not sure about the details of the ad my clinic uses but I do know they do most of their advertising (well before the shortage anyway) at universities. I'm guessing there must be a payment - getting the poor uni students trying to earn a quick (?) buck, so to speak. I know they have to undergo counselling and their little wrigglers are quarantined for six months.
    For egg donors, we have a lot of ads in our local papers. They're usually in the form of a short explanation of circumstances and potential donors reply to the clinic. I've never seen an amount of money advertised but they often say that all expenses will be covered. Apparently, the NSW Central Coast is the most popular place to advertise in NSW as there are a lot of egg donors here.
    That didn't really answer your question did it. Whatever, I hope they 'recruit' (their word not mine) lots of donors.
    Sue

  12. #48

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    Dear all;
    I've put a question about donors in the LT TTC thread. If you wish, I would love some answers.

    Thank you for your time.

  13. #49

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    Hi Divvy
    First, I'd like to congratulate your friends on making this decision - it's certainly a big one. I can understand your male friend wanting to be a dad (even a part-time one) and also it's so nice for people to offer to help out childless women/couples.
    Most of the IVF clinics I know offer services for donors/donor recipients in two ways. One, they will provide AC to women/couples who have their own known donor. Or, they 'recruit' their own anonymous donors (there is a shortage at the moment). A lot of them advertise at universities. I'm pretty sure the age cut-off limit for male donors is 45 but that may depend on the individual clinic. Most clinics who offer anonymous donors probably want it to remain that way though - anonymous. Again, that depends on the individual clinic. Counselling is also required for donors, their partners and recipients.
    I have PM'd a few websites (non-IVF) regarding sperm donation which may be useful for you. Not sure if the links worked though so let me know if they don't. It will also help to have an open mind when looking at a couple of them. I advertised on one as a recipient and had no looneys approach me!
    Hope this helps and I wish your friends all the best with their journey!
    Sue

  14. #50

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    Thank you so much Suzi. Your help is much appreciated. I'll let you know how he goes. Thanks again.

  15. #51
    provencein3 Guest

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    Hi SuziQ

    I saw your details on AED late last year and was going to chat with you but you disappeared.

    I'm a sole parent with a son conceived via donor sperm. I failed TTC'ing his brother or sister and was looking/am trying to find an egg donor.

    Where are you at with "your journey". I could have missed a lot and it may be written somewhere but just curious to see how you are going, and if looking for egg donors, how you find the response being a sole parent.

    rgs

  16. #52

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    Hi rgs - sitting here trying to figure out what that stands for....was that your name in AED? I'm still a member but I haven't been in for a while although I have stayed in touch with one of the ladies.
    My last stim cycle in November was unsuccessful. I ended up with 3 eggs from 3 follies and all 3 fertilized. One didn't make it though so I had the remaining 2 transferred. Made it to 17DPO but beta was less than 2. I was pretty happy about that (strangely enough) considering it was the first time I'd ever made it that far.
    I then had to make the decision whether to continue or not. After 15 years I decided it was time to hang up my bootIES. I'm 43 and I guess being single, I just had to look at where my life would be if I kept on keeping on, spending all my money and knowing that the chances of success were miniscule. No DH to share poverty with isn't all that appealing! I didn't want to turn around at 50 with no kids and no money/assets either!
    So, I've booked a trip to Dubai, Greece, Greek Is and Turkey for 6 weeks in August.
    I still haven't given up all hope, just staying away from Assisted Conception.
    When I was in AED I was actually looking for an embee donor (although, I don't know if I was seriously considering it at the time). Unfortunately, they are few and far between. I mainly joined to get a feel for it just in case I ever decided to go with donor eggs. I did actually meet one of the girls who was planning on being an egg donor - she actually came with me to my ET! She had no qualms at all about me being single. We both agreed that it's the love a child gets, not how many parents are in the home. Plenty of troubled kids out there growing up in two parent homes which are less than happy.
    I probably should shut up now - I feel a :soapbox: moment coming on...
    I hope all goes well for you. Feel free to PM me if you like.
    Sue

  17. #53

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    Hi Divvy
    Just wondering how your friend is getting on?
    Sue

  18. #54

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    Sorry, Suzi, I've had other issues to deal with (professional ones - can't tell you about what's going on unless I have permission from him!).

    I have permission from my friend to tell you this: he's met a wonderful couple, they did the whole "DIY" insemination, and one of the ladies is now 11 weeks pregnant. Everyone is extremely happy and it's all working well at the moment.

    Thank you so much for your help.

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