Thank you so much for both your comments and thoughts - I'm feeling OK and in some ways it was easier to know now than after a transfer.

I will try acupuncture again I think - I just had a bad experience with my last practitioner. She meant well, but she was very into 'The Gift' or "The mystery' (I can't remember what it was called) and although I believe in the power of visualisations, positive thinking etc, I don't think not being able to fall pregnant is my fault (which she seemed to think). During this last treatment I felt strangely serene compared to previous times, and could actually see myself holding our baby and held those thoughts close and stayed very positive, and it still didn't work. It has been easy for me in the past to get into a horrible spiral of blaming myself - if only I wasn't this, if only I didn't do that - it's awful. It's taken me a long time to get past that.

Sometimes I think we fight a stereotype that all women in long term fertility care are highly strung, neurotic types - it's so unfair and not at all how I would describe myself or anyone else I've met. If only we'd relax, we'd all magically fall pregnant. Well, I could relax all I like but it won't give me my tube back or repair my ovaries, or take away the scar tissue....hmm...I didn't realise I was still so angry with her.

It is so complicated, there are so many factors, and yet so much of it is still a mystery. Miracles do happen - my brother's partner had IVF at 44, got one egg, and they just had their baby two months ago. She'd had fibroids when she was younger. Then my friend went through years of unexplained infertility but was otherwise perfectly healthy and so was her husband. They are now in their 50s. It sort of does my head in at times, but I try not to think about it too much - just take each step at a time.

My doctor has suggested I try a new drug for about three months that helps increase egg quantity and quality. He's posting me an article this week - when I get more info I'll let you know. Maybe some here are already using it? I don't remember the name of it.

Sorry for the long post but it's good to get it out. Thanks for 'listening'