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Thread: I need some advice please.

  1. #1

    Join Date
    May 2004

    Default I need some advice please.

    Long time no posting here

    Some of you oldies in the thread will probably remember a girlfriend of mine that has had many many IVF attempts to TTC number 2. Well none of the baby dust, wishing and prayers have paid off and she has just been told that her final attempt is a failure. She is adement that she will not put herself through anymore as the problem now is probably more to do with early menopause.

    How an earth can I comfort her? I always assumed that as soon as it worked again for me, it would work for her as well (that was the pattern last time ) There is NOTHING I can say to make her feel better or to take the pain away.

    Please please please advise me here.


  2. #2

    Join Date
    Aug 2005


    Hi JoJa (not sure if that's what to call you or not)
    I'm not an oldie in BB terms but definitely in the TTC world.
    You're right - there is nothing you can say to make her feel better atm.
    Everyone deals with being faced with no more hope in different ways. I think I posted something in the Vent Forum to Leisa about it being a grieving process and following those same emotions. I can understand your frustration and feeling helpless. I am in a similar situation atm but the shoe is on the other foot. I only found out today my closest colleagues have no idea how to comfort me. I'm just about at the end of the road on this quest. I have PM'd some info I was given to hand out to relatives/friends, although I'm sure you have probably seen it.
    Is the journey definitely over for her? Along with Anney, I belong to another board. There are women there who went through early menopause and one who is 50 and still in the running. Although, now may not be the time to suggest that to your friend. Some info for you to be armed with anyway.
    I guess the main thing is to let her know you are there. Whether she wants to scream, get drunk, spend too much money, eat junk, cry, laugh and be in denial. That you'll accept however she is feeling and go along with her wishes until she has a better grip on her circumstances.
    I hope that helps? Maybe a little.

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