Long Term Assisted Conception - 2009 #4

Toby remain positive. Im sure your blasty will thaw just fine. Let us know how you go.

Edie love your positive/get on with things attitude. I have been feeling the exact same way lately. I too feel like i have tried everything (physically, mentally, spiritually, medically, etc. etc.) and have decided to just get on with things and stop focusing so much on the little things, live my life. Our day will come, and very soon :D

Anyos have fun trying the old fashioned way ;). I hear so many stories of people falling pregnant naturally after going through soooo much assisted conception that anything is possible. Best of luck!

Possums so good to hear from you. Great news that your feeling well with the medication etc.

Infinity have everything crossed for your BT tomorrow :crossfingers:

As for me, not much happening. In for BT and U/S on Friday and i guess we will go from there.

Hi Paula, I am glad you agree with me. I find that when I am distracted from ivf and ttc for a decent period of time - when I return to it I have a healthier more positive perspective. But when I chew over it day in day out my perspective warps and I walk around all day looking up at the clouds going 'Why, Lord? Why?????!!!!" and it gets me nowhere. Some things just ARE - there aren't mysterious explanations because things just are the way the way they are. Sorry for all the philosophising ladies...It sound slike you have been through your fair share Paula, for someone of such tender years he....he...I bet you get sick of hearing how young you are in ivf world. A struggle is a struggle at any age, ha? But you sound like you are doing great. We have gained much strength and experience from all this, my (new) friend.

Possums I am sorry you are having to deal with Grave's disease but I am glad you have had it diagnosed and now you can what you need to do to treat it. It's good you have a plan for next year so you can launch in again and make your dreams come true.

Infinity? Are you ok hunny? Its all going to work out, no matter what. I hope and pray this is your cycle. But it will be ok and you will have your bubba, just hang in xxxx I am sorry it's tough. Big hugs from me in Melbourne. Hey, you are too! Wonder if we go to the same clinic...

Anyos, enjoy the old-fashioned way. Paula is totally right, absolutely anything is possible. That's why this game is such a tricky one - miracles happen every day, on either side of those darn bfn's. We have every reason to be hopeful and positive.

Ever since ivf started the old fashioned way feels different for us - as if there is tension in my body that wasn't there before. Hmmm. It's still great with my beloved, but I can notice the difference.. anyone else get that?

xxxx Edie

ladies, just re trying the old fashioned way, miracles do happen...DH and I had a miracle conception after being told chances were very very slim...I miscarried, but we now know I had the antiphospholipid syndrome etc etc which was causing me problems. So you just never know!

Edie- to be frank, our sex life has taken a downward spiral since IVF, miscarriages etc...and is definately not as relaxed as it used to be, especially when the focus is on TTC still. I think it does happen.

just a quick reply.
sorry no personals, i did read a few posts but i am supposed to be working, oooppppps.

i am hoping we can do our last ivf/ icsi cycle soon. dh is being a pain and is worried i'll get sick again. the thing is i want to do this before i am 38 and it's getting closer.

so i'll keep you posted.

chat soon

Another selfish post, I'll come back tomorrow for personals.

BT today and HCG was 28. Unviable. I'm bleeding more now and expect it will all be over soon. Another BT on Monday to check that HCG has gone down or completely gone. We are just numb. I'm not sure what happens now.

Thanks for all the great support ladies, I really needed it and appreciate it so much. xxx

I am so sorry to hear this Infinity, I was thinking about you today and wondering how you are...

I hope your next appt with FS will sort thing out, whether its a chemical pg or what could cause it...but for now, just take care of yourself and have a big cry if you feel like it. I hope you are surround by loved ones at this sad time. :hug:

Infinity my heart goes out to you :hug: I'm so sorry to hear your news. Take care of yourself, I know it will be hard but you'll find the way forward sooner than you think. xxxxx

hey
just wanted to pop in to check on infinity

hun i am so so so very sorry, sending you lots of hugs xxx
thinking of you and your DH at this very sad time :(

Just popping in for infinity- big (((hugs))) to you hun, I'm so sorry this has happened, I'm thinking of you during this extremely hard time. :comfort:



I'll pop back in later but just to let you know my appt on Mon was pushed back because FS was in theatre.

Edie i agree with things are the way they are and unfortunately we have to be strong and learn to accept them no matter how hard it may be. Everyone out there is suffering their own battle and this is ours. If we threw everyone?s problems in this world in a pile, trust me we?d all grab ours back. I believe that we have been dealt these cards because we are strong women who are able to deal with this situation and will all get through it in the end. And yes i have heard time and time again that i am young for IVF but as you said, a struggle is a struggle and no, age doesnt make it any easier unfortunately.

Infinity i am so sorry to hear your news. Take care of yourself and sending you big cyber :hug:

Oh Infinity - sorry to read your news, I am sure it is only a matter of time, and you will get your wish, right now, that seems irrelivent I know, keep your faith and I will be praying for you xx

Hi Sweet Inifity

I am sorry you have had to take a blow. Anyos is right, I am sure, you will move through this probably more quickly than you think. This is a hard bit, but you can do it. Just keep breathing and hang in. We are all thinking of you and believe in you.

x Edie

infinity, so sorry ...big hugs ..take time out for you and don't expect too much of yourself x

so sorry:grouphug:

infinity: sending you some hugs. hope you find some " me time". x

nothing for me, am feeling a bit down today.

JBM whats wrong? Why you feeling so down today?

Had my first bt and u/s for this FET cycle and all is as it should be which is good news. FET has been booked in for Tuesday 27th October. We have requested that we have two embies transfered this time around so hopefully one little bugger sticks :D.

Paula, I am hoping one of those little buggers sticks too. Good luck for your FEt next week - bring it on!

x Edie

infinity hon - I am so incredibly sorry. I have been there and it hurts so much. Sending you my love xxx

Had EPU today 20 eggs - 12 mature, which I am happy with. We went in early for EPU to avoid ohss, had no big follicles - biggest was 13mm on Wednesday! But if we had waited until Monday for EPU, I had over 30 follicles that would have popped up and I wouldnt be able to do a fresh transfer. Will get fert results tomorrow and then 2 x day 3 transfers on Monday

Well Done Bec - I hope you get some great results from this cycle, and I hope it is your last

JBM - Hope your feeling better today

Hi to everyone

Bac that is great news praying that you get your Fert results soon and that they dont make you the last call(like i feel they do with me hehehe)

Hi Ladies :hug:

I'm still lurking in here & thinking of you all constantly xxx

Infinity - I'm so sorry to read your news, I'm praying that you are taking the time you need to grieve & get through this. Lots of hugs your way :comfort:

Bec - EPU sounds great - a lot more positive! I have everything crossed for you that you have a great fertilisation report xxxxxxxxx

Lots of strength & hugs to everyone else :hug:

Crap fert results, only 5 fertilised. When will this crap be over!
Now we wait until Monday to make sure we have something to transfer.

:goodluck: bec all the best for tf hun i wish you all the best.

to all you wonderful ladies i to am always lurking on you all and wish you the very best ,take care and hang in there xoxoxx

Hello just been keeping up with this thread...lurking about. I recognise some names from other threads.

BECD - sorry you're feeling fed up with your fertilised no. I'll not say the dreaded ('it only takes...') line cos that winds me up!! fingers crossed you've got a good strong embie to transfer on Mon. The weekend is always hard when you've got a transfer on the Mon, hope it's going ok. I'm feeling a similar way, cos with both my first and second stim cycles I only got 5 embies in the end. I've got my EPU on Wed and ET of a blastie following Mon, so I'm one week behind you. Will see how you go on Mon.:pray:

to all the other ladies on this thread, hello, and sticky sticky vibes.

Hi Ladies,

Firstly a huge huge thankyou to everyone for their support. So thanks Anyos, Wouldloveabubba, Edie, Possums, Cuddlepie, Mummy2Chloe, Dutchie, Paula, Loula, JBM, BecD and Hollybollly - you kind words and cyber hugs mean so much right now.

Toby - did you transfer? Hoping you did and sending you sticky vibes for the coming weeks.

JBM - hope you can start cycling asap and you have picked up a bit. I know those down days well so sending you some extra hugs.

Anyos - sending you extra strength, big hugs for your daughters anniversary later this week. It will be so painful but I'm here if you need to get anything out or just want a bit of support.

Possums - best of luck at the endorcrinologist and hoping you can find a way forward.

Paula - hoping for a sticky one for you!

BecD - best of luck for transfer today, hoping you have a lovely strong embie. Thinking of you and crossing my crossables.

Hi Airline - nice to 'meet' you, looking forward to getting to know you and hoping you get your BFP soon.

AFM: Things have been tough but it's expected. Had a follow up blood test today and will get the results this afternoon. Hopefully all trace of HCG is gone. I didn't realise it would hurt so much to get so close but so so far away. Again we don't know where to go from here. Each cycle we distance oursleves more, this time once transfer was done we didn't speak of it, it was like it didn't even happen. Didn't 'name' our embie, didn't talk to it, nothing. Have any of you become like this - sort of 'shut-down' - can't even bear to allow yourself to think that it might happen this time? It just feels like our whole lives together we've been fighting huge battles, first DH's cancer and now infertility - it's been 11 years of fear, stress and emotional pain. We got a letter from MIVF - they froze another 2 embies in addition to the 5 already frozen - so 7 frosties - same as last cycle. I don't think we can go through another almost year of FET after FET, I think it might break us. So taking a break for now, will make an appointment with the FS and do some more reasearch, and then see if we feel strong enough to continue. I know we will keep trying, just can't face it right now.

Thanks for listening again. Hoping you all get out of this thread and into the pregnancy ones soon. xxx

Infinity - I completly understand shut down mode hun, I dont even get excited at the prospect of a cycle of any kind, of course I want and hope it works or I would not be doing it, however if I dont emotionally distance myself, I cannot keep cycling. During a cycle I will usually have one day, that I feel hopeful or excited, one day ! Out of the thousands of dollars and procedures, I allow myself one day, your not alone in your thoughts hun.

Bec - BOL for today, three day may be just what you need

BIG Hello's to everyone

I am going on a holiday in three days, having a stress free natural cycle (sorry), always praying for a miracle, I have a metalic taste in my mouth, and another head cold, so I am rugging up to get rid of it before our trip away

hi everyone...

Bec, best of luck...we had 3 fertilise, and two blastocysts (and one pregnancy) from that...so you never know how things will turn out

infinity- big hugs, take all the time you need...it is very hard to have been so close...i understand the 'shut-down' phase, and i imagine that when (positive thinking) i do fall pregnant again we will be in a scared shut-down for a while. It's self protection, and you have been through so much together.

wlab- have a lovely break

all the best everyone else

infinity - sending you my love, you are going through a rough time at the moment - please be kind to yourself.

wlab - sorry to hear you are not feeling well, hope the cold clears up soon for you and you have a great trip

AFM - Had transfer today, 2 embies were transferred, both grade one (the best grading), one was 6 cells, the other was 9 cells so I am happy with that. There is one other embryo left that they are trying to grow to blast to freeze, but not counting on it. Now have to wait for beta on 2 November.

Bec, fingers crossed! :pray:

Keeping everything crossed for you Bec. Those do sound like some great embryos!

Big hello to everyone else. Not much to post but i have been keeping updated on you all.

Fingers tightly crossed BecD and sending you many :stickyvibesgirl: :stickyvibesboy:

infinity- big ((hugs)) to you

Hello to everyone else!

WLB - thanks, you make perfect sense and that's exactly how I feel. I understand the 1 day thing, sometimes it's not even a whole day! Have a fabulous time away - you deserve a great break. Hope the cold goes away before you leave. xx

Possums - self preservation is exactly what it is. I wish you didn't know exactly how I feel but it is a great help that you do understand iykwim?

BecD - excellent news! Your embies sound terrific. Heaps of sticky vibes and best of luck for the hard wait ahead. Crossing everything that this is it for you. Pop in an let us know how you're going. Looking forward to hearing great news on 2 November. You can do this!!

Hello to everyone else. Huge hugs right back at you all!

This is the 4th time ive tried to post damn it!
I had personals to all 2.
Infinity - am thinking of you
BECD - sounds good!
Thanks to everyonewho wished me all the best with the transfer last tues.

not trying to jinks myself or get too excited but i POAS at 4 pm and it had 2 lines. (1 was darker than the other) :dance:BT is tomorrow morn at 7am! Gee I hope it sticks. TMI coming up..... I went to the toilet this morn or i think it was last nite and strained to go (for long session) Ive had this sharp pain on and off all day. Not sure if it coz i strained or it is the embi playing down there or something is wrong. (i suffer from anxiety so get worried about everything - im so scared i will lose the little one) aHHHHHHHHHH Im going to do the shopping now and will buy prune juice - hope that sorts me out as I do have a bit of trouble in that department and dont want to use over the counter stuff if im really UTD!!!!!!!

Well I will be back tomorrow to tell you all about the B/t.

Best of luck ladies. take care of yourselves!!!!!!!!

omg omg omg toby thats brilliant! how did you bt go today! :D :D :D

Toby, i think congrats are in order! sending you all the very best for today

Bec always thinking of you too in this dreaded TWW hope it is going fast for you.

Sending all a big hug, life is slowly getting back to normal, the added stresses at work are not helping.

have FS appointment on 2/11 to see what we will be doing next and i hope we can get another EPU in before then, had a call from MIVF for PGD, the nurse asked me in total how many embies have you TFed? my answer 23 transfered in 14 cycles! yikes it really scared me. This really is our last cycle (for now) i am hopping we can start the process of surrogracy towards the end of next year if we are not successful.

Am trying to stay away from bb a little just to get my head space right again so sorry if i have been absent, i do think of you all and how i find so much inspriation from each and every one of you. through all this pain you develop a beautiful gift, that of empathy and courage. if you dont mind i may hold your hands from afar as we walk this journey together.

Bec I feel your pain. I haven't experienced the exact same thing but I do know what it's like to go through all the steps to only end in heartache. My first IVF cycle went better than we expected. They retrieved 24 eggs, 16 were fertilized, we froze 7 day three's and 2 blasties. We transfered one high quality blastie which split resulting in a identical twin conception. At 24 weeks I went into preterm labor, my boys fought to stay with us after coming into the world but just couldn't do it. It was hard leaving the hospital empty handed. We are currently in our first FET cycle. I'm more nervous on receiving a BFP than a BFN. For obvious reasons. Oh and it turns out my cervix is incompetent and I have a blood clotting disorder. So now I have been marked as high risk. Next pregnancy they will be stitching my cervix between week 14&16 to ensure I pass the second trimester.

We all need to stay strong and hopeful that one day soon we all will have that BFP and be able to take them home.

Lots of love and baby dust to all.

toby congratulations honey, hope all went perfectly with the bt xxxx
Infinity, thank you for your kind words lovey, :hug: I hope you're travelling well, I know exactly what you mean about distancing yourself from it all.
BecD :pray: that you get your miracle xxxx
Loula am sending you love, strength and hope, take care of yourself & let us know how you're travelling.

love & hugs to everyone else

AFM, haven't had the best of weeks but have felt less overwhelmed by the sorrow. My darling angel left us 4 years ago tommorow and since then we've been on such an incredible journey. Thank you all for your love & support, it means so much to me xxx

anyos- :comfort: thinking of you today too hunni, I can't imagine how hard this day must be for you. Take care :hug:

toby- yahoo for 2 lines :happyforyou: hoping your BT results are nice and high :crossfingers:.

BecD- hoping you TWW is going well, sending you some very sticky :stickyvibesgirl:

:hello: to infinity, WLAB, Grayson, Loula, toby, Paula, Possums, airline, hope your all well :bluedust: :pink-babydust: to you all.

Toby how did you go?

anyos sending you lots of cyber hugs. Must be a very hard week for you indeed.

Well had my FET yesterday afternoon so now have two embies on board. BT 6th November. Just have to try and stay sane and not think too much about it till next Friday.

Hope everyone is doing well.

Hi Ladies

Thanks for thinking of me!

Paula - only 1 week to wait - All the best. looking forward to hearing some good news. do you think u will POAS?
Infinty, Loula & Anoys- thinking of you all!
BecD - how are things going with you?

AFM- still cant believe it but its official - BFP! Im still over whelmed. Not really excited as yet as im scared something will happen. im over come with anxiety and tiredness. having lilttle pains every second day and feel sick for a short period of time, other than that im ok.

I will be in here to see how everyone is going.

Wishing all the ladies best wishes :pray: Take care all. chat soon