I am coming to the end of our 7th ART cycle (4th blast transfer) and Im really confused about what I should do next. I guess you always think that IVF is going to be the silver bullet - the cure all. Even my clinic said that I would get pregnant easily (well if it was that easy I wouldnt be having IVF!) and are suprised that I haven't fallen yet.
How do you know when to look at other options because honestly right now I don't feel like I have any options. I've thought about- -adoption, but there is around a five year wait and it is still expensive with a lot of hoops to jump through
-fostering, but financially it would be really difficult for me to leave work (i get significant maternity leave if I fall pregnant), and also having to give the child back - its such a difficult job
-surrogacy - WA has just passed a law allowing altruistic surrogacy which could be an option, but we don't know anyone that would do it and for me being pregnant is a really special thing that I want to experience. -More IVF - Possibly ending up in hospital from OHSS again, plus the money side - financially we are in a hole from spending so much on fertility treatment over the last 18 months. -Donor eggs or sperm - I had never given this much thought before, as I am so young and we never thought there was an issue with my eggs. We still dont but how do you really know? Murrays sperm is a big issue - what if we used donor sperm instead, so many issues this brings up...
PGD - I dont know if this would even help us as what would we be looking for?
Are there any other tests that I should get done? I've never had a laparoscopy or hsg, but considering I have had three egg collections - surely they would have picked up any issues during these procedures, or at least I would have thought so.
I've done the weight loss thing, I lost 18kg last year to try and help get my body to ovulate but it really hasnt helped.
I really would like some "look outside the box" advice on what we could do, and also how other people handle this. I no longer have that feeling that IVF will work for us.
(Sorry for the verbal diarrhoea, I just wanted to get it all out there)
ETA - I should mention that we have one more frozen embryo left, so we have to make a decision about that also, as money is tight and we are over the safety net, it makes sense to do it now, but who knows...
Bec, it's a tough place to be in, and I don't think anyone has a magic answer for you. Just a few thoughts and comments from me...
As egg collections are done via ultrasound, they aren't going to pick up any problems that a regular internal scan won't find. There are some things (like endo) where they would need to actually see into the abdomen, so it may be worth requesting that they do one. I've heard of several women having no symptoms of endo at all, but when they have finally done a lap, they've been found to be riddled with quite severe endo.
Have you had further blood testing? There are a few different conditions (usually autoimmune or blood clotting) that can impact on whether IVF will actually work or not. There's a range of tests that they do in cases of recurrent implantation failures that can pick up stuff - but my clinic tells me it is standard procedure to not run these until you've had 6. I'm not sure if that's standard across all clinics, a sign of just how many transfers it can need sometimes, or just a hidden sadistic streak in my FS.
It is, ultimately, a numbers game. For some it works quickly, others... it takes much longer. In those moments where I felt like giving up, I'd think of Sushee - it was only on her 8th (I think!) transfer that she managed to get Charlie, which was a little beacon of hope to me that it may be taking a while, but it CAN work anyway, it just takes perseverance and the ability to save the money for the next cycle ASAP.
Finally - when it comes to avoiding OHSS, you may remember my history with it. First cycle I toughed it out at home, second cycle when I was in less pain I ended up spending a week in hospital and a month off work. Third cycle we finally managed to avoid it. My FS had me taking half a nizoral tablet on each day of puregon injections (apparently it helps reduce the amount of VEGF in the body, which is what makes the ovaries leaky and causes all the problems, I was put on it after each egg collection with OHSS), and before and during the cycle I was following a VERY strict low-carb, low-GI, high-protein diet. We started that about a week before I began lucrin, although my FS would have preferred to have me do it for about 4-6 weeks before beginning lucrin, but it seemed to be enough - just! I only had one slip up on the diet, it was towards the end of my puregon injections and the resulting jump in E2 was pretty obvious as I was on daily blood tests at that stage.
Has your FS suggested anything to improve DH's sperm? Our last cycle was done in the days before menevit was readily available, but he did have him on folate and massive amounts of vitamin C. I think they suggest 3 months at least to see if this has any improvement. He was also on a regime of daily ejaculations while I was on puregon to continually flush the sperm through and make sure we had the freshest available. As we had to do ICSI anyway, any possible drop in numbers wouldn't have been a significant issue.
Finally - it was our 5th transfer that gave us Munchkin (with another 3 cancelled transfers on top of that), and I was so convinced that it wasn't going to work, that neither of the two frozen embryos we had would work that I spent my TWW planning out how long a break we would take from IVF and how much money we needed to save before we could go again and how quickly we could do it... The rest, as they say, is history. Hopefully that's a little encouragement for you.
I'm sorry if it's not outside the box enough, but adoption, fostering, donor eggs/sperm/embryos weren't an option for us so our thoughts never went that way.
BW - Thats actually a huge help. Lots of things for me to think about and take back to my FS.
Honestly I feel really helpless right now, I never planned this far into it. I always thought that IVF would work, if not the first couple of attempts, then at least by number 7!
I just read your post and wanted to say that although i don't have any answers for you, i do know exactly what you are going through. My DH and i have now done 3 fresh IVF transfers and 5 FET and never had any of them 'stick'
I am about to go see my FS and demand more testing. As a healthy 30 year old with "beautiful embies" and no reason not to fall pregnant - they keep telling me the same thing "you will eventually fall pregnant" But WHEN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Surely after 8 attempts I have been extremely patient.
I have considered some alternatives but hubby is not interested in adoption or fostering and although i have a beautiful sister who would be a surrogate for me, unfortunately it's not legal here so that option is out.
I honestly don't feel like i have the energy to go on, especially when all of my friends either have children or are pregnant. Sometimes i just want to pack up everything and run away.I know it sounds selfish but i just don't feel like i have the strength to be happy for one more pregnant friend.
So if you ever need to have a chat or a cry just know that i feel everything that you feel
What do you do next?
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