Again... AGAIN? Seriously, what am I thinking!?

[Krikkit]

OMG.. can't believe I am even typing this , but its been bothering me amongst other things.

When did hop back on the IVF roller coaster - once you have had your first, second ..ect??

How long did you wait? Did it take longer - you know.. since the drs know your "bits" and how you "work"

I know I have just had bubs, but I keep wondering when do I start, should I start sooner because things might take longer.. I suppose its like asking how long is a piece of string. Do I try my luck at doing it the old fashion way??? Do I even bother planning it at all - I mean "normal" couples I know say "oh, wait till baby is 2yrs or 3yrs so you dont have two in nappies" .... "enjoy what you have now".... "oh, I know sooo many couples who have accidentally got pregnant after IVF, don't worry you will be fine" (that last one really bothers me!)

Just putting it out there, I would love to hear your experience or advice!

Thanks

[Doodlebug]

Hey hun,
No real experience or advice for you but I could have written your post! I'm going through the same thing myself!

With ds1, we waited until we felt ready to have another child, then we had a mc, then I had another lap, plus surgery for pancreatitis, then back to fertility treatment.... we now have a 4 1/2yr age gap between the boys. Not what I originally wanted but it's been great! ds1 is old enough to get most things himself and get ready for school etc... plus there's been no jealousy between them! This time, I think we want to try earlier (maybe in May) so the age gap would be much closer.

I would say go for it! If you know that's what you want then just go for it! There's no right or wrong age gap and you'll cope with whatever gap you have! You've been through the wringer with Isla and come out trumps so you can handle anything!

[onthefly]

My personal experience:
By around 6 months I was starting to stress about this, but a few things helped me put it into perspective. First, I wanted to breastfeed till at least 12 months and thought I would have to wean to go back to IVF. Second, I ideally wanted a 2-3 year age gap between babies. Third, I was getting no sleep and really didn't have the energy for the moment anyway. And finally, when I really thought about it, I just couldn't face IVF again for a while yet.
So from that I decided to wait till DS was 12 months and then think about it. 12 months came and we still weren't ready. from 16 months my cycles returned and we started ttc naturally, with a plan to return to IVF when DS was 2, which is what we did.

So, maybe think about where you are now (are you well rested? All recovered from the birth? for eg) and what sort of minimum age gap you'd like?

[Doodlebug]

Marcellus - did you have to wean to go back to IVF??? That's one of the things I'm thinking about at the moment but can't seem to find definitive info.

[onthefly]

No, you don't necessarily have to, but it depends.
You do need your cycles back, obviously, which may mean cutting back or even full weaning in some cases. It also depends on your drug regime. The general fertility ones are ok, but some women do need to take nastier things which might not be.
There's a podcast here by a woman (from ABA) who's done some research into this. (No.22)
Fome FS will say you must wean, some say not - I think this is basically because there's been little real research done into it. We know many women can conceive whilst still breastfeeding, so why not when undergoing fertility treatment as well - providing breastfeeding isn't interfering with your cycles.

ETA- I didn't wean, but my supply was knocked out by the drugs and DS eventually weaned at 8-9 weeks.

[Baby Dreamtime]

Hi Krikkit, I am in the same boat, and have purposefully weaned my girls about 5.5 months so my cycle will return, 4 weeks now and still waiting. I plan to try the 'normal' way for 6 months, though get the feeling that if nothing has happened by Xmas I will start fets in jan using my 3 remaining frosties. I am deathly afraid it will take many tries again and don't want to leave it too long, though I guess part of me is hoping for that miracle of natural conception. I have made sure I enjoyed every moment with my girls to date, but just want a plan for the future. So I have some dates and plan not to stress too much until then. Wishing you all the luck which ever way you go xxx