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Thread: Again... AGAIN? Seriously, what am I thinking!?

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Nov 2008
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    Default Again... AGAIN? Seriously, what am I thinking!?

    OMG.. can't believe I am even typing this , but its been bothering me amongst other things.

    When did hop back on the IVF roller coaster - once you have had your first, second ..ect??

    How long did you wait? Did it take longer - you know.. since the drs know your "bits" and how you "work"

    I know I have just had bubs, but I keep wondering when do I start, should I start sooner because things might take longer.. I suppose its like asking how long is a piece of string. Do I try my luck at doing it the old fashion way??? Do I even bother planning it at all - I mean "normal" couples I know say "oh, wait till baby is 2yrs or 3yrs so you dont have two in nappies" .... "enjoy what you have now".... "oh, I know sooo many couples who have accidentally got pregnant after IVF, don't worry you will be fine" (that last one really bothers me!)

    Just putting it out there, I would love to hear your experience or advice!

    Thanks


  2. #2

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    Default

    Hey hun,
    No real experience or advice for you but I could have written your post! I'm going through the same thing myself!

    With ds1, we waited until we felt ready to have another child, then we had a mc, then I had another lap, plus surgery for pancreatitis, then back to fertility treatment.... we now have a 4 1/2yr age gap between the boys. Not what I originally wanted but it's been great! ds1 is old enough to get most things himself and get ready for school etc... plus there's been no jealousy between them! This time, I think we want to try earlier (maybe in May) so the age gap would be much closer.

    I would say go for it! If you know that's what you want then just go for it! There's no right or wrong age gap and you'll cope with whatever gap you have! You've been through the wringer with Isla and come out trumps so you can handle anything!

  3. #3

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    My personal experience:
    By around 6 months I was starting to stress about this, but a few things helped me put it into perspective. First, I wanted to breastfeed till at least 12 months and thought I would have to wean to go back to IVF. Second, I ideally wanted a 2-3 year age gap between babies. Third, I was getting no sleep and really didn't have the energy for the moment anyway. And finally, when I really thought about it, I just couldn't face IVF again for a while yet.
    So from that I decided to wait till DS was 12 months and then think about it. 12 months came and we still weren't ready. from 16 months my cycles returned and we started ttc naturally, with a plan to return to IVF when DS was 2, which is what we did.

    So, maybe think about where you are now (are you well rested? All recovered from the birth? for eg) and what sort of minimum age gap you'd like?

  4. #4

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    Marcellus - did you have to wean to go back to IVF??? That's one of the things I'm thinking about at the moment but can't seem to find definitive info.

  5. #5

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    No, you don't necessarily have to, but it depends.
    You do need your cycles back, obviously, which may mean cutting back or even full weaning in some cases. It also depends on your drug regime. The general fertility ones are ok, but some women do need to take nastier things which might not be.
    There's a podcast here by a woman (from ABA) who's done some research into this. (No.22)
    Fome FS will say you must wean, some say not - I think this is basically because there's been little real research done into it. We know many women can conceive whilst still breastfeeding, so why not when undergoing fertility treatment as well - providing breastfeeding isn't interfering with your cycles.

    ETA- I didn't wean, but my supply was knocked out by the drugs and DS eventually weaned at 8-9 weeks.

  6. #6

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    Hi Krikkit, I am in the same boat, and have purposefully weaned my girls about 5.5 months so my cycle will return, 4 weeks now and still waiting. I plan to try the 'normal' way for 6 months, though get the feeling that if nothing has happened by Xmas I will start fets in jan using my 3 remaining frosties. I am deathly afraid it will take many tries again and don't want to leave it too long, though I guess part of me is hoping for that miracle of natural conception. I have made sure I enjoyed every moment with my girls to date, but just want a plan for the future. So I have some dates and plan not to stress too much until then. Wishing you all the luck which ever way you go xxx

  7. #7

    Default

    It really sucks that we have to think about this so soon after having our babies hey?

    We're in two minds about whether to have another at all. But who knows.......

    Can you and DH maybe go and have a chat with your FS? See what his thoughts are????

    Hugs
    Sue xxxx

  8. #8

    Default

    I know this is a couple of days old, but I could have written your post myself!

    I enjoyed being pregnant and am loving being a Mum so much that we're already talking about #2. When I was pregnant I said that #2 would be a long way off because we had been through so much to get #1 - but having Archie has been such a great experience that I wanna go back and do it all again!

    Our discussion was also brought forward because we had to decide whether to upgrade our PHI. Our "plan" for TTC #2 is that we will TTC when Archie is 12 months old, and if after 6 months of TTC naturally (cause we figure it's worth a try), we'll go back to FS for another stim cycle. By then I'll be 31 y/o, so my body will probably still respond well to the drugs, and Archie will have been bfd for at least 12 months, probably 18months. We figured that the earliest we wanted to conceive was when Archie was 1y/o, and that the ideal age difference would be between 18 mths and 3 years - so our "plan" fits somewhere in there. Best laid plans, of course

    For us, we also wanted to have some "rules" about what we were willing to put up with this time. I finished the last IVF treatment with an anxiety disorder, so my mental health is something we need to be mindful of. I need to consider the potential effect of TTC on Archie as well - if Mummy is stressed, this will affect him. So we're not going to TTC naturally for very long, and we'll be pretty proactive about TTC with IVF sooner rather than later. And if TTC#2 doesn't work within a certain timeframe, we'll have to consider whether it's worth continuing.

    FWIW, I'd love to have another bub, I'm already clucky! But I'll be forever grateful for having had the experience of pregnancy, birth, bfing and parenting DS, even if I never get that opportunity again.

    GL hun!

  9. #9

    Default Back for round #2

    HI Krikkit
    I have just gotten off the IVF train for our attempt at #2.

    I wanted another baby the day my DD was born last April. I followed a routine with her very early on and she slept through from 13 weeks, so I was blessed from the beginning (I like to think it was reward for the struggle to get pregnant!). I went back to my FS at 5 months, stopped my meds which helped keep my breast milk up at 6 months, then a month later got my period (DD weaned at about 7 months which upset me but was the choice we had to make so we could start trying for #2 which given I was almost 35 I didn't want to wait for too long) and started with my 1st FET at 8 months.

    Suffice to say this time it was much, much harder than I remembered fertility treatments being, and of course far more expensive than last time! I respond well to the drugs (we followed the same protocol as it worked last time and produce excellent embryos so we didn't know why we weren't getting pregnant, and probably never will know, except that the last one stuck. I didn't bother trying naturally as it never happended before, and I just wanted to get on with it.

    I think only you know when you are ready, for me, we wanted two children and I never wanted to regret not having tried but I think it all depends on your fertility issues/age and how YOU feel. Good Luck

  10. #10

    Join Date
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    My situation was a little different because DS was a natural bub, and the little apple blossom I'm pregnant with now is an IVF PGD bub. We were still faced with the "how long should we wait before we start" question though. We knew we wanted a small age gap, but I also wanted to breastfeed DS as long as I could. I looked into the breastfeeding issue a lot and spoke to someone at the ABA who pointed me to the podcast that Marcellus posted. I was even told that if I had questions the lady from the podcast would happily call me and talk to me. When I saw my IVF doctor I was totally amazed because he said he was happy for me to continue breastfeeding because my cycle had come back and was fairly regular (despite still breastfeeding 10-12 times a day/night!). I was on relatively low doses of two drugs and found that it didn't hugely affect my supply (DS still got his 10-12 feeds), but since I've fallen pregnant it's been a different story. My milk supply has dropped dramatically over time and DS now gets only 3 feeds a day (well one during the day, one at 11pm and one around 4-5am). He's coped well though but definitely still wants it when he can get it. My biggest problem is that the pregnancy hormones have made my nipples so sensitive that it's pure agony when he feeds, but I'm sure that doesn't happen to everyone.

    One thing you might want to think about is how quickly you fell pregnant with IVF the first time, because it may take about the same amount of time again. Actually, I just noticed that you have some frostie bubs, so things might move very quickly if you are lucky!

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