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Thread: Another Baby...

  1. #1

    Default Another Baby...

    My Sister-In-Law just had her first baby yesterday - thought I'd be OK in dealing with it, but it hit me hard last night. I am so happy for them, just upset at where DH and I are at. Never thought we would be looking down the barrel of IVF and almost going to hit the 2 year mark of TTC.

    2007 is a new year and hopefully the start of something beautiful for all of us.



    xox

  2. #2

    Join Date
    Jan 2006
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    Brisbane
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    LisaC great big hugs for you sweet heart :hugs: It is a very hard road that we have to take to get our little miracles but one day you will hold that baby in your arms and realise that the baby that you are holding is such a blessing because you prayed and wanted it so badly. Lets hope that 2007 brings joy for so many peaople in here including you and I.

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Jul 2006
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    In The Land Of Wonderful...
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    Hi Lisa,
    Hugs and Hugs and Hugs to you
    It is just so hard, and impossible to explain to anyone just how much it hurts.
    I'm not looking forward to Christmas... there is roughly going to be about 9 ladies at DH's family gathering this year - only 3 of us are not pregnant... his mum, his sister (who had her 1st baby 4 months ago) and me , and to top it all off, they are all due between March and May 2007.... its just not going to get any easier!!!
    What an amazing gift we have in our group of Belly belly buddies knowing that we're not alone!!!
    All I can say is that the hurt gets easier, but until then, cry as much as you need to xxx
    Big hugs to you xxx
    Holly xxx

  4. #4

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    Thank you girls.

    Because only a select few family and friends know, the ones that dont are the ones passing comments and wondering why we haven't had kids yet - which is really hard and then the people that do know, expect you to have news everytime you visit - aarrghhh...

    I agree - christmas is the worst time. Holly, I can't image what your Christmas is going to be like with all those pregnant bellies. A big big hug back to you and all the best in your TTC journies to you Holly and ktgirl.

    xoxo

  5. #5

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    Been there done that. I know what you are going through. My sister and sister-in-law were pregnant and gave birth within 5 weeks of each other so then everyone turned to me and said 'when are you going to have children?'
    I felt like screaming, people don't realise how much it hurts hearing people ask that question. All your life someone always has to ask 'what's next?'. Either, 'when are you going to meet a nice boy?' to 'when are you getting engaged?' to 'when's the wedding?' to 'kids? to 'next kid?' .
    My MIL has a habit of everytime she calls the first question is 'babies yet?'. I ended up just not answering the phone for a while there. In the end I told my hubby to tell his mum to lay off or I would. She already has 8 grandkids but feels the need for more NOW!
    I havn't told many people that we are trying because I didn't want their pity. The support I have received from the few I have told is enough.

    Try telling a few people to quietly spread the word that you either don't want to hear their questions anymore or that you are having trouble conceiving. Or you could make a bit of a joke out of it by saying that you're quite happy to stick to dogs/cats/ etc for now.

    I know the pain of having to hear the questions and to see pregnant people and wish that it was you. All I can say is best of luck and keep trying. Here's hoping to a for us both and soon.


  6. #6

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    Hi Katie,

    I guess there is always going to be somebody who is curious and wanting to know "when you are gonna have a baby". But to be honest, I used to ask people as well. This is before we had issues. When we started having problems, it made you realise how sensitive the issue was - it was a learning curve for DH and myself. I think the whole process has made us stronger people... angry, saddened and pi**ed off... but stronger...

    Best of luck to you too. I am crossing everything possible for a for us both.

  7. #7

    Join Date
    Nov 2006
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    Western Sydney
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    Hi Lisa C,

    I understand what you are going through - I found it particularly hard this Christmas to cope with people having babies. I really liked your point about asking others about children - I remember how naive my DH and I were before we were in this situation.

    We often asked when people were planning to do things like get married, have kids etc. I suppose we were excited about the idea of celebrating significant events and sharing joy with people. However we were just as happy when people said that they were going to live together, or not have kids. I think the biggest problem is when people just push and push their own agenda with no compassion.

    One of the best things I ever heard was my brother's response to a particularly insensitive uncle. In this case he was being pestered about getting married. My uncle asked "When are you getting married?" My brother, quick as a flash said "Why, are you proposing?" The uncle got the message instantly and backed off. Unfortunately I don't think it works in our situation!!

    Thinking of you!

  8. #8

    Join Date
    Sep 2004
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    Melb - where my coolness isn't seen as wierdness
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    Hi Caro,

    if you want to turn your ticker off, you can do it in the bottom right hand corner when you 'quick reply'. There is an option for you to untick 'show your signature'.

    Alternatively, you can also edit your post, 'go advanced' and you'll have the option there of unticking 'show your signature' under 'additional options' down below.

    HTH

    love
    sushee

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