thread: Another BFN - am feeling so angry - how do u deal with this?

  1. #1
    BellyBelly Member

    Dec 2011
    Perth, SOR
    819

    Another BFN - am feeling so angry - how do u deal with this?

    This was my first FET cycle, after a positive ivf cycle which ended in missed miscarriage. on Sunday i had a very faint positive, did blood test yesterday and showed only 5 hcg. so officially negative. today i'm feeling so angry and i don't know how to get rid of it. i feel like kicking the wall, screaming, but i can't, am at work :$
    what do u girls do? Is there Any healthy way of getting rid of this anger?

  2. #2
    Registered User

    Sep 2008
    Perth
    327

    I am so sorry, it is horrible. You must be devastated.

    I am angry too. Yesterday I was told excitedly by a friend the gender of another frineds baby... she is due 2 days before I was due. All I could think about was how unfair it was that I couldn't have that joy too.
    And ANGRY!!

    I think overall it can be a healthy emotion to have. It ISN'T fair, you haven't done anything to deserve it. It one sense it is a vaild reaction. Although I know how if you can't express it and turn it inwards instead it can be damaging. It's difficult if you're at work but I think somehow turning the anger energy into something else can help- e.g. doing a boxing class at the gym- it feels REALLY good to punch something sometimes. Even pounding it out on the treadmill and getting sweaty can make you feel a lot better. If you're not into the gym- maybe writing out a letter about exactly how you feel- don't hold back. Tell the universe how angry you are and why- then burn it and try and let some of the anger go.

    That's all I can think of right now, but I am giving you a big hug.

  3. #3
    2013 BellyBelly RAK Recipient.

    Feb 2012
    1,496

    sorry about your recent fet, me4ever.

    im not sure i can help with how to deal with the anger, to be honest i find that its something that comes and goes while ttc, along with bitterness, jealousy etc. the hormones probably arent helping the way you feel atm either. its frustrating and unfair to keep getting negative results, time after time. when im angry/bitter etc i just try and have some time to myself, generally if i try and socialise or pretend that everythings ok - things go pear shaped quite quickly! i find i just need a couple of days post bfn, and in severe cases maybe a week or so. i know its no consolation for you right now, but it is a good sign that you got pregnant on your first ivf transfer, and perhaps an attempted implantation this time round given that you had hcg in your system. the stats give you around a 25% chance of each transfer working, and thats with no fertility issues. i know you probably know all this... sorry if i am being insensitive, just wanted to give you some hope too. xx

  4. #4
    Registered User

    Oct 2006
    In a house, on a hill with a big fat welcome mat!
    6,772

    Another BFN - am feeling so angry - how do u deal with this?

    Hugs babe x for me I started my blog. I wrote it for me. I looked for ways to try and think forward to the day it would be different. I was tired of being angry, having everyone around me be pregnant, to thinking about my angel babies.
    I wish there was a magic way to take the pain away. I wish someone could say 100% it will happen one day... no one can do either of these things. But you need to find a way to channel it out of body and mind. Hugs and we are here for you if venting helps x

  5. #5
    Registered User

    Nov 2011
    SE Melbourne
    2,975

    M4E xxxxooooxoxoxoxox

    Just lots of those xxx

  6. #6
    BellyBelly Member

    Dec 2011
    Perth, SOR
    819

    Thanks girls! Just writing the initial post helped me so much... And at work I had a couple of my favourite customers coming in who made me smile. Thanks for your responses and hugs and kisses. I will try and go for maybe a run or I might buy a pair of boxing gloves and one of those bag things, so I can safely hit something... I will try and write some stuff down, I used to keep a diary, but haven't had a chance to keep one for the last couple of months, I think since the D&C possibly. I might try to start one again. Like I said I feel a lot better already, thanks again, hugs back for you as well and fingers crossed for whoever is doing a cycle before Xmas!

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Nov 2011
    SE Melbourne
    2,975

    Another BFN - am feeling so angry - how do u deal with this?

    Glad you're feeling better lovely girl xox