I am so sorry, it is horrible. You must be devastated.
I am angry too. Yesterday I was told excitedly by a friend the gender of another frineds baby... she is due 2 days before I was due. All I could think about was how unfair it was that I couldn't have that joy too.
And ANGRY!!
I think overall it can be a healthy emotion to have. It ISN'T fair, you haven't done anything to deserve it. It one sense it is a vaild reaction. Although I know how if you can't express it and turn it inwards instead it can be damaging. It's difficult if you're at work but I think somehow turning the anger energy into something else can help- e.g. doing a boxing class at the gym- it feels REALLY good to punch something sometimes. Even pounding it out on the treadmill and getting sweaty can make you feel a lot better. If you're not into the gym- maybe writing out a letter about exactly how you feel- don't hold back. Tell the universe how angry you are and why- then burn it and try and let some of the anger go.
That's all I can think of right now, but I am giving you a big hug.
im not sure i can help with how to deal with the anger, to be honest i find that its something that comes and goes while ttc, along with bitterness, jealousy etc. the hormones probably arent helping the way you feel atm either. its frustrating and unfair to keep getting negative results, time after time. when im angry/bitter etc i just try and have some time to myself, generally if i try and socialise or pretend that everythings ok - things go pear shaped quite quickly! i find i just need a couple of days post bfn, and in severe cases maybe a week or so. i know its no consolation for you right now, but it is a good sign that you got pregnant on your first ivf transfer, and perhaps an attempted implantation this time round given that you had hcg in your system. the stats give you around a 25% chance of each transfer working, and thats with no fertility issues. i know you probably know all this... sorry if i am being insensitive, just wanted to give you some hope too. xx
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