Wonderful news about the loan - i know what you mean when you know that you can start something pro-active and get you on your way to that bundle of joy - good luck with it all and i hope its a short journey for you.
sorry mods if this is in the wrong place feel free to move it, but it's all about the original post so thought it belongs here with the beginning of the story
24 hrs ago i felt life couldnt get any better, finally we were back on track to making our first baby together, dp rang me last night and we got talking about the money and then thats when it all went wrong
we were talking about how much of the loan was going to be used on lap and ivf and dp started to sound a little funny and i asked whats wrong and he started saying how disappointed he was cos there wouldnt be much money left over for him to do his car up, dp is a car freak we have had issues about his car before ( look in relationship thread under " am i being silly") and so i began to feel really guilty cos he wouldnt have much money left over for his car. so now i am not using the money cos i would feel guilty
but the whole idea of the loan was so we could do babies and now the money is here, he is making me feel bad cos its all going on babies and hardly any on his car. My heart is breaking as i cant believe he would be more worried about a F*#king car then babies, for the last few yrs he has seen what i have gone through, all the hours spent holding me while i cry on the floor, all the tears as i have watched family and friends have babies and him telling me that he promises me that we are going to have a baby. and we have our chance now and he is disappointed cos of his car??? his car should never of come into this i cant understand why he has done this exspecially when he knows how important this is.
I really dont know what to do, i have never felt so hurt in my life i really thought he understood me and how babies are everything and i really thought they were everything to him too, but how wrong was i. how can i be with someone that has for the past few yrs lead me to believe that babies were everything to the both of us, but the moment he gets his hands on some money he wants to do his car up, i feel so stupid and dumb and betrayed and angry i thought i knew him.
Please help me, you all understand infertility and the road you have to travel, am i over reacting, do i get over it let him use most of the money for the car and i will waiting a few more years to do ivf and lap, but in saying that i dont think i would be able to sit back and watch him spend all that money on a 2 seater car when it could of been on a gift of life a baby. i am that hurt and bloody angry that i am thinking of leaving him, how can you lead someone to believe that the loan is for one thing ( baby) then when it gets approved you change your tune and want to spend it on a car???
oh god please help i dont know what to do, i love him so much but how could he do this
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