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Thread: cannot believe i am here

  1. #1

    Join Date
    Sep 2005
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    Default cannot believe i am here

    Only because i have always ignorantly said whilst standing on my soapbox that if i cannot concieve naturally then i will not persue it- well thats not the case as i realised once i found myself in this situation.



    Apparently the problem seems to be my eggs- they are too old (Iam 40) I am on the tail end of another blighted ovum and willing to try anything now but dont want to kid myself which is why I am posting here.

    I would like any advice / information re IVF ( i dont have a clue on any of the abbreviations and what they mean so long hand would be appreciated). I would like to know the approx costs to have my eggs harvested - fertilised with DH sperm and then implanted as I do not have any idea and we do not have private medical cover.

    Is there anyone out there in the same boat as me? Its very lonely here.
    I am nervous to call the clinics myself as if it is very costly i will not be able to persue it and do not want to feel and worse than I already do

    XXX

  2. #2

    Join Date
    Oct 2005
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    A Nestle Free Zone... What about YOU?
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    Default

    Hi Sue, I am so so sorry for your news. I understand how devastating losing a much wanted pregnancy feels. You will get lots of support from the women in here - please come in as often as you need.
    Your new doctor sounds like a real gem - you need the support of a great gp - we all do. I am so glad that that has been sorted.
    I have not had personal experience with assisted conception - I have had some professional experience though.
    I was a little bit concerned at you being told that the problem is your 'old eggs'. I understand this is your fourth early pregnancy loss and that is significant however before just swallowing that your eggs are old you need to be referred to an ob. I know some of the women in another forum gave you some names of ob's in Melbourne that work with more 'mature mums'. I would highly highly advise you seek one of these ob's out. You need to have bloods, ultrasounds, exams and extensive history consideration and perhaps even laproscopic examination of your reproductive organs by a practitioner that has a good track record of dealing with women who have recurrent loss. Yep 40 is creeping up there and yes you have a higher risk of miscarriage because of your age - this is thought to be because the ovum are aging. I won't sugar coat that because it is true. Statistically older women lose more babies. The other side of that is that here are many women your age and older who have successful pregnancies and produce healthy babies. You don't have to look far in Belly Belly to see evidence of women a lot younger than you who have these losses also.
    So, the problem may not necessarily be age. This is the conclusion that is jumped to simply because you are 40 - I am not saying it's not possible just that there may be other factors. It could be as simple as that these little eggs that have been fertilised just weren't 'right'. Or the sperm wasn't 'right'.
    Please don't just think it's your age and that's that. See someone recommended and credible. He/she will go over you and Nigel with a fine toothed comb and then you will be able to deal with facts.
    The good news is that you can conceive.
    Again Sue I am so very sorry for your loss - my heart sank when Iread your post. Please know you will get through this. First thing Monday pick up the phone and cry and scream and have tantrums with receptionists until you get into see an ob. You will need a referral from your gp - maybe your new gp can help to pull some strings. Put it out there to the girls in here who have suffered recurrent loss of an ob in Melbourne. I am sure you will get some good recommendations.
    I wish I could give you a hug - I will send one instead.

    Lots and lots of love to you sweetie xoxoxox

  3. #3

    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    boronia- vic
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    Default

    Thanks for the sound advice and kind words of comfort Deb they mean the world to me today

    I will do just as you advise - my GP has refd me to a Gyno that works out of the Angliss that he seems to think very highly of so i will call him on Monday for an appt after my ultrasound next fri and i will take it from there. GP very good and was basically passing on what US dr had said but i think he has faith in me and knows I will keep plugging away after all it is my body and I might be at a bit of a disadvantage cos of my age but you are right it certainly has not stopped other ladies having a bub- you never know.

    xx have a great day

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Oct 2005
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    A Nestle Free Zone... What about YOU?
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    I am so glad Sue that he has already referred you on. Once you have been thoroughly 'checked out' then you will know what needs to happen next. Maybe it will be a fertility specialist or maybe it won't. Try to take each foot in front of the other and not jump to conclusions until you have all the information. I am so relieved your gp is caring and empathetic. When you have a care provider that treats you with kindness and respect the road is a little easier to travel.
    Know that I am thinking of you.
    Hugs

  5. #5

    Default

    Hi sue .. the internet is such a useful resource for us these days, so do a google search on some of the clinics in your area. I think they are Melbourne IVF and Monash. They will have all the details you need, and you can go at your own pace. You can even email the clinic for info, no need to call, they usually send a free hand book out to you... all the best leis xx

  6. #6

    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Bendigo, Vic
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    Default

    Hey Sue
    I'm glad you've come in here. You'll find many girls in here in very similar situations. (Like me, until very recently, for example!)

    Deb (flowerchild) has given you some really good advice there. If you do end up having bad news next week you need a fertility specialist who is going to explore why you are having repeated miscarriages as their first priority, not your age.

    The problem you will keep coming up against is that statistically the most common reason for subfertility is age. So on a law of averages it is fair for medicos to tell you that it is your age. But you patently have a history of miscarriages that deserves some serious exploration.

    A book that helped me enormously was called "Getting Pregnant" by Robert Jansen. (I ordered it through Dymocks online) I can lend you my copy if you want. It helped me understand so much more about what was going on for me in both body, heart and mind. It has a really good chapter on what you SHOULD expect from your medico in relation to fertility issues.

    There is also a thread on the cost of IVF in this board http://bellybelly.com.au/forums/showthread.php?t=2093. But as I said on the other thread - hopefully you don't need to think about that just yet sweetie.

    Don't forget you can email me anytime! I know first hand how lonely this journey can be.

  7. #7

    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Melbourne, Australia
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    Hi Sue,
    Am thinking about you today and hope you don't have to come back in here again. but just in case you do, the girls have given you some great advice and in particular I think Deb's advice about going to someone who specialises in recurrent miscarriages is really great. I go to Monash IVF in Clayton and I looked up their web site and one of their IVF people also specialises in recurrent miscarriages. Her name is Dr Lynn Burmeister. Just because you go to a doctor that is affiliated with Monash IVF, doesn't mean they will put you on IVF straight away so it might be good to go to her and she can look into the recurrent miscarriages for you but then, if IVF was required you would not have to change doctors and wait all over again. the waiting time to get into these people is often about 10 weeks for your first appointment which is really frustrating when you are 40 and just want to get moving!
    I really hope everything worked out for you today.

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