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Thread: Coping with pregnancy news from others

  1. #1

    Default Coping with pregnancy news from others

    In the whole time that DH and I have been TTC, I have struggled to cope with the news of friends and family who have fallen pregnant (and there has been too many to count!, as I know all of you have experienced)

    Just found out yesterday that one of my good friends is pregnant again. She conceived her first a few months after we started trying and is now pregnant with her second. I think it is just hitting home that in the whole time that we have been trying to conceive No 1, that this friend of mine is on No 2, falling pregnant at the drop of a hat. I thought that I would be OK with it - had a pretty crap day yesterday after finding out, I cried and cried.. The "Why me??" was being said alot in my head yesterday, and I've woken up with alot of anxiety. I don't wish that it didn't happen to my friend - I am thrilled for her, just want it to happen to us..



    Sorry for the winge - I find it helps to write whats on my chest. Thanks for listening.

  2. #2

    Join Date
    Oct 2006
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    Country NSW
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    Lisa I know how hard it is - I feel like a little air has been let out of my hope bubble every time I her of family and friends conceiving so easily - but it just makes me more determined in the end to get there and whether we will or not is in the lap of the Gods basically and thats the hardest part the NOT KNOWING. Be kind to yourself and what you are feeling is perfectly normal so don't feel guilty feeling this way. WE are all happy for our friends when it happens but like you say WHY NOT ME!!!! Good luck with it all sweetie :hugs:

  3. #3
    Mstickles Guest

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    Hey Lisa,

    I know exactly what you mean - and its a double whammy because not only are you feeling a little resentful about it being so easy for them you are also feeling a little guilty for not being happy. I find all the pregnancies one of the hardest parts to deal with because its NOT FAIR!!!!!

    When you do get there you will have a stronger relationship and a huge appreciation for your baby.

    Hope you are OK!

  4. #4

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    Hi Lisa....big hug for you....I feel like crying & screaming along with you ! My sister just had a bub & she wasn't even TTC ! Then a good friend just had another bub yesterday & now today AF is due for me so I got a bit emotional reading your post. The worst thing for me is when these people who I'm close to ignore what I'm feeling & try their best not to talk about my feelings about what's happening...at least ask if I'm alright !I'm going to tell you I'm fine even if I'm not but at least I feel that they haven't forgotten I'm hurting! Keep talking to us because you can say anything & we all understand your feelings and no it's not fair but we will get through the tears & tantrums 1 day at a time...keep smiling sweetie xoxox

  5. #5

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    Hi girls,

    Thanks for your kind words - it really means alot.

    I'm waiting at the moment for my over-follicled ovaries to settle down to try and attempt IUI for the 2nd time. The fact that I had to wait two cycles in between has just made me so angry and it feels like such a waste of valuable months. I know it is for the best but in the meantime, while people are falling pregnant around you, it just makes things worse. You just want your turn, not having to go through all the crap!

    Lissie - that is exactly what its like... I just wish somebody would fill my hope bubble up every now and again...

    Mstickles - I know I will have a greater appreciation for my bub when it decides to come along. All the best.

    cheeky73 - I really feel for you - It is one of the hardest things when the people around you try and avoid the situation. Like you said, half the time you don't want to talk about it anyway but you dont want to be forgotten. I know exactly what you mean. Thank god we've got each other to vent to and share experiences with each other!!

    Thanks again.

  6. #6

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    Good luck with your treatments Lisa.....
    I'm about to go to see Dr Timothy Chang in Campbelltown,last time I seen him was in 2002. I haven't had any treatment for 5 years after I had 2 unsuccessful IVF attempts. I have been TTC for 10 years,9 of those classified as unexplained subfertility. I have never fallen pg in all that time.I'm not quite prepared to go back on IVF (cant afford at the mo) but I am going to have a chat about going back on clomid for longer than 2 cycles...CityWest IVF in Westmead would only allow me 2 cycles before pushing me to try IVF, I was only 27 when I started,I feel I was too young & more than a bit impatient! LOL so fingers crossed for the 17th, hopefully I'll have more luck on my journey this time....by the way I have spent the last 5 years spending lot's of $$$$ on chiro's, naturapaths & even spiritual healing rather than seeing an IVF specialist... I think it's time I slowly got back to it,i'm not getting any younger LOL
    hopefully we will all have news for each other soon
    xxx
    Cheeky

  7. #7

    Join Date
    Sep 2004
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    Its totally normal to feel the way you do - i always think "yep Im totally happy for them - but also completely jealous"... its bittersweet.

    I have a friend who met, got engaged then married to her husband had a baby and is now trying for her second all in the time we have been TTC, so I know it is often a smack in the face!

  8. #8

    Join Date
    Dec 2006
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    Lisa - what you're feeling is so completely what a lot of us feel. i have felt it a lot lately. found out last night about a friend just having her baby - she was number 14 since the start of december. it's so damn hard - i want so much to be happy for them, but at the same time i feel cheated cos it's not me. and then guilty as hell cos i'm being selfish! it's a viscious cycle!! i guess it's normal to feel this way, but i know that hearing what you're feeling is "normal" doesn't make it any easier

    be kind to yourself at the moment - it's only fair that you grieve hun. take care - and here's hoping you get that long awaited BFP very very soon

  9. #9

    Join Date
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    Hi Lisa,

    I totally understand what you are going through. I have 2 goods friends who are pregnant at the moment and who fell pregnant so easily, sometimes it is hard to take. I am so happy for them but when I see their tummys growing i wish so much that it was that easy for me to have a baby as well. I guess I keep telling myself that when it does happen for me, then it will be even more special because we have tried so hard to have a baby.

  10. #10

    Join Date
    Jan 2007
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    WA
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    Hi Lisa,

    I also totally understand. I've just found out that two different friends are preg with their 2nd, another two friends are about 6 mth preg with #1 each, another is 6 mth preg with #2... it seems everyone else is having a baby but me! It seems silly though as I'm not actually trying right now to fall pg - but that's because I'm still fighting to get my period to return after the pill (10 mnths now), mainly due to stress - so it wouldn't even be a healthy time for me to be pg. But it still make sit hard to see everyone else having babies when I can't yet....

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