thread: Desperately Trying 2 Conceive

  1. #1
    Registered User

    Apr 2009
    3

    Desperately Trying 2 Conceive

    Hi All,

    I guess I'm just wanting to vent my feelings to people who wont judge.

    My hubby of 7 yrs and I have been trying 2 conceive for about 2 years now. I do have PCOS and found that out when I was 22. My doc at the time advised me to start trying to get pregnant by the time I was 27 - which is when we started. My GP referred me to a great specialist at Freemasons (MEL) who had me try and lose a little weight and also had me on Metformin - to no avail. I am soon to be starting my 3rd Clomid cycle, accompanied by Ovidrel (which makes me seriously cranky!).

    To be honest, I am finding this so hard to deal with. Everywhere I'm turning I see mothers-to-be just blooming and babies, babies everywhere! and it hurts. Of course, it doesnt really help when family and friends keep asking why why why arent we starting our family yet.

    Someone please reply
    Mel


  2. #2
    Registered User

    Nov 2008
    186

    yes know how you feel well a little bit as I do hate when others say that

    we had family etc asking then we had a loss
    when we where able to talk about it we told family, so of course they don't ask any more now

    Maybe not that you want to let out all your personal details but just to keep them quite let them know a few details that yes you are TTC it made me feel better when I could talk about the problems we where having also being able to vent also helps

  3. #3
    Registered User

    Apr 2009
    3

    Hi there

    Its taken me so long, but I finally told my mum - which, considering the topic, went well It's harder to tell ppl that actually do care about u.

    Thanks for replying

  4. #4
    Registered User

    Nov 2008
    186

    sounds silly I know but one of the first people I told was not someone close
    it was the lady who owned the cafe where I had lunch everyday we had spoken several times, she was the only one who know we where TTC as I did not want family or work etc to know

    when we had the loss she was only one of the first I could talk to, as their was going to be no judgment and if I did not like what she had to say I just would not have gone back

    practice on people you don't know and here is great for that, you can basically say what even you want sometimes you will be judged and people jump on you when they don't like what you have to say but really who cares not like they are your best friend or someone you have feelings for

    sometimes you just need to get it all out especially when you feel like crap

  5. #5
    Registered User

    Feb 2008
    1,163

    Hi Mel80,

    Seeing babies and preg women must be tough. To make matters much much worse of course there is a baby boom on at the moment! Not great when you have been trying so hard to have one of your own hey?

    I am just starting out on my ttc journey and I am beginning to feel those edgy feelings of frustration and nerves every time there is no success for no logical reason. I can't even imagine how it feels after 2years.

    This is where I do like BB and being able to read posts such as yours. Your post has given me a little insight into what others are going through. In a small way this helps.

    wishing you all the best. x
    Last edited by jackrose; April 16th, 2009 at 11:00 PM. : just trying to make more sense!

  6. #6
    Registered User

    Apr 2007
    in lactation land
    3,776

    Hi Mel
    I am glad you have posted as you will find support and understanding on these threads. LTTTC is a tough journey and we are often faced with thoughts and feelings we haven't experienced before. It is also hard for those we love to understand what we are going through. So at least here you can talk about your feelings and experiences with no risk of being judged .

    I sometimes find it helps me to focus on those things I do have in my life that I cherish and am happy for. A wise woman who has councelled me the last few years of TTC has helped me to understand that while I can't control my emotions, I can accept I have them and I can help myself to be happier by not allowing my thoughts to feed those negative emotions by putting my thoughts towards more positive directions.

    I don't know if this will help you but I have found it to be very empowering and a great way to cope with the challenges LTTTC throws at me.

    xx
    Last edited by dusty; April 17th, 2009 at 09:53 AM.

  7. #7
    Registered User

    Mar 2008
    mid north coast, nsw
    1,644

    Mel- it is a hard and challenging journey and I am glad things went well with your mum. I hope you have success soon. Perhaps Dusty's advice will help you... Dusty- I will try and follow that myself

  8. #8
    Registered User

    Apr 2009
    6

    Smile Well done

    Hi Mel

    It is a similar experience for many couples, including us for a number of years. The societal expectations and family expectations re having children...it is so so debilitating at times. I found it so distressing, that it made it even harder to tell them in the end. After 8 yrs of failed everything (IVF...etc etc) and even adoption which was a final acknowledgement that it was the end of the road for us, and we had to face reality, it was so hard to tell people the situation we faced. What I did not realise at the time, whilst suffering all those years, that many of the people I thought would be smarty pants and offer their words of wisdom, were in fact quite respectful and understanding. My family, who are often judgemental, became quite supportive, as some inkling of our struggle became only too apparent.

    Anyhow, to cut a long story short, after receiving some really good support from our sis in law, she mentioned surrogacy in US, as how this was a solution for those who can't carry (which was my issue) and potentially, where eggs or sperm are not satisfactory, a donor could be introduced. Anyhow, after 18 months investigations of all programs around the world, we chose India, as it is a little less expensive than US, but, still very professional IVF clinics and doctors.

    Our baby (our embryo) was born in Dec 08, in India, and we cherish our boy so much, it is hard to describe. He is so loved by not only family, but our hundred + friends and distant family, as I think everyone now appreciates to some extent anyway, the journey and how our baby came into this world. We feel so proud and also, so pleased we have helped an Indian family become quite financially well off (by Indian standards).

    Focus on your goals, and as I did most of the time, put up a shield and ignore snide remarks, and mix with good people who provide you the motivation to carry on and achieve your ultimate goal...a baby.

    Good luck and keep your chin up

    Michelle