: IVF in healthy couples for the sole purpose of twins - do you find it insulting?

316.
  • I need assisted conception and DO NOT find it insulting

    38 12.03%
  • I need assisted conception and DO find it insulting

    75 23.73%
  • I DONT need assisted conception and DO NOT find it insulting

    76 24.05%
  • I DONT need assisted conception and DO find it insulting

    127 40.19%

thread: Do you find this insulting?

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  1. #1
    Registered User

    Apr 2007
    in lactation land
    3,776

    Ahhh JB to be so sure of how you think you would behave or choose to behave if you were in a position that you had to. Interesting perspective after you have already had two children of your own. If you do choose to go down the adoption path, I wish you all the best as it is probably harder than IVF in some ways. As the other ladies have so well outlined adoption is near impossible and getting harder to access all the time.

    I actually shared some of your perspective when I was in my 20s. I felt it was a worthy decision to choose to have a child through adoption (when I hadn't even contemplated I may have difficulty conceiving my own child)because of many ideological issues I felt strongly about at the time...that was until I turned 31 and had the most amazing and overwhelming physical and mental urge for me to procreate. I never expected it to happen (hadn't thought about it much) and then one day BOOM! As an subfertile woman I sometimes wish it had never ever been switched on.

    In my experience adoption is a long and arduous process and I really admire anyone that commits to going through it these days. As Mel said it takes years (ACT is now looking at 6+ years), you are at the beck and call of the adoption authorities, you can not undergo any Assisted Conception while going through it and must wait at least 6 months after finishing AC to be able to even submit an expression of interest to start the application process, or risk having to start the process all over again. You need to remain in the same state (you can't move away, take a job interstate etc) while your file is overseas (for an unknown period of time), having every aspect of your life looked over and judged etc. Adoption in Australia is increasingly difficult to access and success is not guaranteed.

    Infertility can take a lot of time to diagnose, and then surgery or IVF seems the magic cure all, but not always. By the time adoption becomes more of an option in your mind years can have passed with the prospect of staring down at least 6 more years of the same old waiting. For me that would take me out to 10 years since starting TTC and I would be 45 by the time the child (if I were still eligible) would arrive. So no I don't agree with your PS that Adoption is an option if it gets too tough, and it misses the point that many things about infertility are tough, adoption is just as tough if not tougher than the rest of them.

  2. #2
    Registered User

    Nov 2006
    Western Sydney
    1,109

    Devon,

    Your post was not insensitive - actually it would probably be how I would feel, if I had the choice.

    Thanks for your understanding.

    Also thanks for your comment about my post - I'm feeling a little raw which is why I've stayed away from here for so long.

  3. #3
    Registered User

    Sep 2007
    Cairns
    1,787

    Had to share the love Dusty -

  4. #4

    Dec 2005
    not with crazy people
    8,023

    The silliest thing I find about this thread...the way people dont realise how insensitive they are when they say im not being insensitive! Who are they kidding?? themselves???