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thread: do you sometimes find it hard to cope?

  1. #19
    Registered User

    Sep 2008
    Perth
    296

    Julie - sending more and your way. I know you are sad at the moment, but hang on in there and don't give up hope, just remember that you are doing everything you can. Just let us know whenever you feel like this and we will all be here for you.


  2. #20
    Registered User

    Aug 2006
    178

    Buliej this is awful. I'm sure if they looked for it they wouldn't have missed a 5 week miscarried ectopic. I wish i could make this a little easier for you, I can feel your anguish from your post. Hoping that this is just a stupid whacky hormone thing and you get it sorted a.s.a.p. Wishing you the strength to keep going and not give up. I wont tell you to relax as i know that is absolutely impossible - cry, scream, keep busy, hound your FS for answers/tests - do whatever you feel up to.
    Best wishes and many

  3. #21
    Registered User

    Mar 2008
    mid north coast, nsw
    1,644

    Julie- I am so very sorry it has to be so hard...and you can't just start trying to move forward.

    I am going to tell you about a past experience of mine, not to further alarm you, but perhaps just give you information which could be relevant:

    When I had my ectopic pregnancy, they initially told me I was having a miscarriage, as I had a sac in my uterus and was having bleeding. My OB performed a curette when I was about 8 weeks (this was after weeks of being unsure whether I had a viable pregnancy or not, checking HCG levels etc, and then the hospital ED telling me I was just going to miscarry...eventually I got fed up with the public system and that is when I first went to my Ob). The material was sent off for testing.

    About a week later and the findings of those tests alarmed my doctor, as there was not placental material (I had bled quite heavily and it could have passed already- the sonographers had been sure I had a uterine pregnancy)...he thought that was abnormal and sent me for an HCG test, which showed my levels were still elevated.

    He immediately thought I probably had an ectopic pregnancy and at that stage I had developed SEVERE cramps- the pain was pretty bad. So I was given an ultrasound which showed bleeding around an ovary, near the end of the right tube. I was sent in for emergency surgery the next morning and he removed the ectopic and my right tube and said I was very very luck it had not ruptured, saved only because it was leaking out of the tube a bit (sorry if TMI).

    So my ectopic was missed until about 9 weeks, and the bad pain probably started at about 7 weeks (i thought it was the miscarriage at the time)..on and off, before getting so severe.

    So, it is possible you could have an ectopic. However, normally pain is associated with ectopics. I really hope you do not Julie. Like I said, sorry if my story is alarming, but I know you are like me, and like to know all possible scenarios and facts etc.

    Thinking of you, I am sorry it's so hard...be gentle with yourself. the stress of not knowing now is hard to handle
    Last edited by Possums; April 28th, 2009 at 10:06 AM.

  4. #22
    Registered User

    Aug 2008
    Melbourne
    1,539

    Thanks so much for your support everyone - i still find it amazing how much understanding from virtual-world-only friends helps. It really, really does.

    Possums - I very much appreciate your sharing your horrible experience. I do need to know these stories as I need to know what to push them on. I don't think I knew the details of your ectopic and that is horrible and I'm very, very sorry that you had to experience this....and, it seems somewhat similar to what is going on with me. I also had discharged material (a lot) that was sent off to the labs (no result yet) - but based on what you said, I now know that just because something came out doesn't mean it was in the right place. And, I haven't really mentioned this much, I did have infrequent but very sharp pains in my stomach. They were quick and didn't last long so I had a very hard time being specific as to where I felt them. I did mention these to my FS when I first started m/c'ing and she said they sounded like normal m/c pains. I am going to insist on an U/S tomorrow.

    Just so I am prepared - what was the surgery like (physically) - day procedure? how long did it take for you to recover? I will be devastated if they have to remove an ovary - only 1 of mine seems to produce any eggs and if it turns out that this is what I need and that the one egg producing ovary has to be removed, my wish for a baby will be destroyed completely.

  5. #23
    Registered User

    Mar 2008
    mid north coast, nsw
    1,644

    Julie,
    Thanks for the comments to me, very nice of you given you are so stressed yourself..(it was an awful experience, and also the one which launched us into IVF as it was then my Ob discovered the left tube didnt look very good and my fertility therefore not good)

    Basically, it is possible to have a pregnancy in the uterus and an ectopic. It was never confirmed 100% with me that was what happened, however I know one of the sonographers who firmly believes I did have a pregnancy in my uterus, which initially came away (BEFORE i went in for the curette)....the continued bleeding/pain was then from the ectopic..however, because the initial ultrasound had revealed something in my uterus, it distracted them from searching for an ectopic more I think...and nothing was visible on the early scans I had...it was only the later scan, after the curette, when they could see the blood around the ovary. Plus, like I said, initially my GP sent me to emergency at the hospital and I dont think i received the best attention there.

    Just to offer you some good news, even with an ectopic, I think the ovaries are normally not removed. Even in my case, the ectopic was partly growing over my right ovary, and my Ob successfull "peeled it back off the ovary" so the ovary was saved, thank goodness (i normally ovulate on my right).
    And remember, it's quite possible you don't have an ectopic (fingers crossed!).

    As to the procedure, I was in hospital overnight, and was quite sore afterwards. The way it was explained to me, while the surgery is done laparoscopically (sp?) and is therefore quite non-invasive, it is fairly major surgery on the inside, where there is trauma after the removal of the tube etc...I also had some scar tissue removed from elsewhere...and there were three cuts, one near my navel for the camera to go in, and one down low (around pubic line), where the material was taken out, and one near my ovary...basically they operated through those two cuts to remove the ectopic and tube.
    I was given a doctors certificate for i think it was 2-3 weeks off work, and I took that time to recover emotionallyand physically...I just took it easy... after a few days I found I could walk around more easily with less pain. You do need to wait i think 3 months they told me, before TTC again. We basically went to IVF 3 months down the track.

    I certainly hope all this info is going to prove irrelevant for you!!

    Certainly have a scan to make sure...

    thinking of you
    Emma xx

  6. #24
    Registered User

    Aug 2008
    Melbourne
    1,539

    Thanks Possums - That sounds so traumatic, I really feel for you. I too hope it isn't relevant for me but I just don't have a good feeling about this.

  7. #25
    Registered User

    Mar 2008
    mid north coast, nsw
    1,644

    how are you Julie- any update?

  8. #26
    Registered User

    Aug 2008
    Melbourne
    1,539

    Thanks so much for asking Possums. I did not want to take over your thread with "all about me"...I have posted about my current situation in another thread ... it is here -

    https://www.bellybelly.com.au/forums...nderstand.html

    After a day where I spent the entire morning either in tears or holding them back (at work no less), I am a bit calmer...but I am still having trouble accepting what is going on.

  9. #27
    Registered User

    Apr 2007
    in lactation land
    3,776

    Julie. I hope you get some answers soon.
    xx

  10. #28
    Registered User

    Mar 2008
    mid north coast, nsw
    1,644

    dusty- I got Choosing Happiness from the library...it's great- think I need my own copy

  11. #29
    Random Act of Kindness Recipient
    Add Baby Dreamtime on Facebook

    Jul 2008
    Gold Coast
    692

    Dusty, thank you too, I just borrowed Chosing Happiness also, I am in a bit of a bad head space at the moment and need something to help me think straight. Thanks again!

  12. #30
    Registered User

    Aug 2008
    Melbourne
    1,539

    sounds like that is a book I need to read - will be going to the library this weekend!

  13. #31
    Registered User

    Sep 2008
    Sydney
    752

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