Hi everyone, i've been checking out the posts for a while and it's so great all the support and info that is supplied here.

I started on Lucrin last Wednesday and I'm going in for my blood tests, hand in the consent forms and pick up my FSH meds tomorrow.

No one I know has been thru IVF and I find it is really difficult to talk to my friends. Most of them have kids or haven't started trying yet. I feel like I'm whinging about it when I talk to them. I don't hate the fact that I have to do IVF and I'm quite optimistic (maybe that's because I haven't even started FSH yet).

I go thru periods of quite high expectations and then periods of depression and feelings of having no hope.

I have tried reading some books but I have found that they tend to send me into the depression state. Maybe I'm in denial and looking at the real-life disappointments makes me realize that it could quite easily happen to me.

My husband is great - he's doing my injections (he has to brace me against a hard surface otherwise I jump a mile) it's getting easier though. He holds me and lets me cry - stupid baby white lions on the animal planet channel - and I haven't even started the FSH injections yet.

I go thru periods of complete clarity where I feel like I can see every single leaf on a tree miles away and then periods of walking around in a daze - forgetting what I'm saying half way thru a sentence.

I'm scared about how many eggs will be there when I go for collection, I'm scared about how many will make it to the stage of ready for being put back, I'm scared about how many will be viable to be frozen. So many things that are out of my control.

I'm sorry to go on and on - I think I just need to unload somewhere.

I wish all of you the best for you journeys . I would like to hear more of your stories - both triumph and disappointments.

All the best
Nix