doesnt the old saying go " if you love someone enough, set them free"?
the full quote is

If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were.

the truth is, you've given your other half the opportunity to get out - and hun, he doesn't want out. emotionally, you HAVE set him free, he's stayed so he isn't there for the child you may one day have together, he is there because he loves you and wants to be with YOU!

i have lived this guilt for a long time. i tried to not get involved with my DH at the start of our relationship - i was aware i had something wrong that would make a family difficult, i'd heard how great he was with kids, i'd seen it for myself - and i didn't want to be the person to ruin that dream for him. i pushed him away, i told him to leave and find someone he could have a family with. and he refused (stubborn git!) - he kept telling me, it wasn't a child he wanted - he wanted me - and a child was a bonus if and when it happened. Every angel baby made me feel worse - i was bringing us closer to this dream, but my body kept letting it go, and i felt guilty. i pushed so hard to make him leave and find happiness elsewhere, and he just wouldn't let me go

it's understandable that you're feeling pain and guilt - you've recently had a miracle baby stolen from you, so your heart is breaking. you know that he's feeling the same, and you feel responsible - but you're NOT. some things in life just cant be blamed on anyone. Infertility sucks in ways so many can't imagine - and when it's one partner, it makes sense that you blame yourself (i do), but it's not something you can help, not something you can fix, and as my DH kept telling me - it's a journey you walk together

look at it from the other side of the fence - if your DH had male factor issues, would you want to walk away? would you blame him, make him feel guilty, and leave him because it took more work to create a child together? or would you support him, go through all you need to, to create the family unit (whether that is two or three or eight of you). DH and I talked at length and realised that we'd be ok being just "us", and any child was always going to be a blessing and a bonus - something we'd love to have, but not something we needed to have to fulfill our lives

take care hun

BG