How do I accept this?

[RockingBaker]

[Cherished]

Elocin my heart goes out to you. The ttc journey can be so heartbreaking I also understand how you feel about the name. We too had names for over 4 years and with each mc I felt like that baby with that name had been lost. Somehow I've manged to reframe that in my mind and the names we love are still going to be used. You will have your baby, I know it's hard to imagine when you are feeling down but don't give up hope xox

[thepixie]

Elocin I'm sorry it can't be easy for you. It does sound like your hubby is a gem and you will be wonderful parents sooner rather than later... It will be a bumpy ride sometimes but we are all here to hold your hand. Take comfort from the girls who have gone before you - your turn will come too

[Mum2SweetCs]

Elocin, I have no words but to hope your TTC will end soon and you have a gorgeous bundle in your arms.

Through all this pain you are going through, when your bundle does show up it will just be that extra special.

oxox

[Elocin]

DH said to me last night that I need to forgive myself.

I'm still not quite sure how to do that, but I like the sound of it. I don't know how to take that next step, how to step away from my little world of guilt and fear and blame.

The biggest thing that I was scared of was DH coming to me and saying that he wants to stop trying, and it being my fault. My fault that we didn't have a baby. I'm slowly realizing that that's not going to happen. I need to start realizing that I need to stop being so hard on myself, realizing that I can do this... I can get pregnant... I will have a healthy baby.

I'm drawing on the inspiration of others on BB who achieved all that I want.

[toomanyshoes]

Glad to hear your seeing some light at the end of the tunnel!

[luna moth]

I can do this... I can get pregnant... I will have a healthy baby.

Because you deserve to.

I think maybe you need to look in the mirror and remind yourself that you are worthy of a little miracle.

[Lulliloo]

hun. i don't have time to reply properly right now. but i will pm you later.
we are all here for you

[Manhattan]

I just have to shake this fog from my head, I need to focus on the positives - we're both healthy, we have the funds to pay for all of this stuff, DH has standing beside me the whole way - and come to terms with the fact that it's ok that I'm here. Because I won't be here for long.

My baby is just around the corner.

Yes sweetheart, your baby is just around the corner! I wish you didn't have to go through all this, and I can only imagine how hard this journey is for you. And hun, there is no reason for you to feel guilty, your DH is right, forgive yourself. You never asked for this, and you did nothing to deserve this.

Thinking of you, and praying for you hun

[Hollybolly]

Oh Hunny

Dusty has said most of what I was going to say.. and so eloquently

There will be days where you feel as though you can do this a thousand times over, and days where you feel that you can no longer do this at all
By far, I truly believe this is the hardest thing we can do... I would never wish LTTTC/IVF/AC upon my worst enemy, the pain is heartwrenching and bleak..... and completely uncomprehendable by anyone who has never been here

The fact that you are searching for ways to cope shows your strength and determination... and I truly believe that your strength, determination & passion plays a MASSIVE part in your eventual success.

I used to write lists often just to remind myself of what points made me more fortunate than others in similar situations;
My body Does respond to the drugs, we are getting good results, we have the finances to continue etc etc... your biggest strength as far as I can tell is that you and your DH are on the same page.
I honestly believe thats imperative.... and if you both want it as much as each other, that is so so important & necessary xxx

AC is improving everyday, and the best part about BB is that there is always someone on here who has probably taken the drugs you're taking, the procedure you're doing, the emotions you're feeling... real life is not so easy.
Pop in and utilise BB as much as you can and whenever you need it xxx

Its a bummer the TTC journals are no longer... the inspiration of some of the members throughout those journals was just incredible.

Your husband sounds amazing... and his words about forgiving yourself are perfect.
It took me a while to forgive my body for not doing everything right... its all a process... so whilst your forgiving yourself... be kind to yourself as well

All of my strength & love your way xoxoxoxo

[Lisa B]

I know it's really hard and I must say there were so many days that I felt so broken and that my body had turned against me. I think the only thing I did to try and cope was to continue putting one foot in front of the other by looking to the next appointment and just breaking it down into smaller steps and ticking them off. I kind of felt I was making progress when I did this.

You certainly have strength of character, as any LTTTCer has, just to continue putting one foot in front of the other. It is the most prolonged stress I have ever been through.

I'm so hoping that this journey will be over for you very soon!

[YoYo]

Roads are sometimes long and bendy Nic, there are potholes, and detours....but there is always an end....a destination. That is where you and your DH will together meet your baby. You can do it Hun, I know you can xxxx

[starangelk]

Hugs for you

[blossom73]

Sending you big hugs i know how you feel, im there at the moment!! What beautiful words and advice people have given..
Be strong and keep smiling x