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Alice- Thank you for thinking of me, I haven't done any posting in here due to I wanted my BT results back in case I needed some info from you all in here. Well I am home from my DR appointment and most tests came back good, liver and kidney function were all great, Sugar was low, cholestrol was low, thyroid came back all clear and everything else was good apart it showed no Ovulation for me. DR told me if AF arrives Tuesday Wednesday then to go straight back in to her and she will give me a referral to go to the gyno and they will probably start me on Clomid this cycle coming up. If AF don't arrive until Thursday/Friday then I will have to go back for another BT next cycle if AF is late. DR told me they get more accurate results from BT if they are taken 7 days before AF arrives. So I'm feeling better that I have answers to why we are having so much trouble TTC but I also feel a bit let down about not O'ing. Any advice on anything will be appreciated I have no idea what to expect from here on.
Glad you got some answers Clairesmummy. I can't help with the Clomid in terms of experience but I know others will be able to. I do have a friend who needed to take it in order to o and she has since had a little boy so here's hoping that it is all you need to get things going.
Thanks Alice. It will be an whole new experience for me anyhow and hopefully it will end with a huge bonus at the end of it all, our very own little bundle of joy. FX
Claire'smum - I have about 4-5 anovulatory cyles a year if I am not medicated. If I don't O my cycle can go as long as 46 days. Clomid should help regualte your O'ing (though it did not work for me!) A day 21 bt is usually done to check if you O'ed though I have O'ed as late as cd25!m Not sure if that is of any help sorry bit scatty this afternoon.
Crafty - My latest BFP was dpo14 this was after my cd25 O.
AFM - Well no suprise my BT came back BFN. Have appt with FS on the 18th to request another stim. cycle in Nov. This cycle also cost about $1100 more than I had antisipated with embryo freezing and anethetist. I had figured I'd get more back from Medicare than I did. I don't want to tell Donor daddy that it was heaps more incase he says we can't afford another go.
Thank goodness it's the weekend its been the longest week.
Sunbeam-sorry it was a BFN the 1st ivf as always trial and error for your body so next time around it will know what it has to do.
Alice-No we have not told DH daughter just yet i am not confident enough that this bub is out of the woods and with DH daughter having a real hard time with Abbi's loss i dont want to do it to her again so i will hold off for as long as possible although she has looked at my belly a few times with a very inquisitive look so we cant hide it to much longer.
We did show the boys bubs u/s and they loved it and thought she looked perfect they asked what name we have chosen and we told them the truth that we still have a bit of testing to go before we can relax but they need to know what is going on as we have been having lots of appointments ect and they are old enough to know.
It is ashame that we still cant totally enjoy this pregnancy there is to many what if's but we are getting closer to an answer.
I held it together till I got home but now I'm falling apart. It's not so much the BFN as the sense of hoplessness that I may, in a few short months, have to face the horrendous reality that I might never have a child. I feel so helpless and out of control. Alice my sweet I know you are righ, I know that I have no idea what the future may hold but even the though of stopping TTC feels heartbreaking. Then even if I do get pg my chance of m/c is so high due to my 100% failure rate so far. My god how hard does life have to get. I know I'm asking for a miracle, is that really too much to ask for?
oh darling Sunbeam, my heart really aches for you. I wish I could give you a big hug It's OK to feel like this, you have been so strong and so patient and have held up through it all with so much grace and calm, you are an amazing woman. Let it go, let yourself grieve now. Feeling the pain and despair and hopelessness is all part of that grief process and you will get through it I just wish it wasn't so hard. Is your flatmate home? Can you ring a friend to come and sit with you? Poor Sunbeam, you've been through so much. Sending you lots of cyber hugs and love. We're all here for you. xxxxoooo
And no, it isn't too much to ask. Don't think about it as a failure rate - you're not a failure, not in any way, so please don't think of yourself like that. You're a beautiful woman and you'll make a beautiful mum and I hope more than anything that that time is coming very soon. Be kind to yourself now xxx
Subeam-hun you are not a failure i remember not so long ago you all telling me that when i couldnt have a healthy baby to the love of my life but i do totally understand your pain we all want that miracle and i hope to god we all get it we deserve it and have been so patient but sometimes it just gets to us life is so cruel and we get dragged down with all the disapointment and loss i know i am pretty negative and lose hope even with this bub but dont give up your dream just yet our bad luck has to come to an end sooner or later.
Sunbeam so sorry you got BFN its so hard isn't it I am sure if you have the courage to carry on then it will pay off soooon real soooon ! hang in there I am here for you !
I managed to get past the dreadful feeling earlier in the week with your help so I am sending it back to you my friend don't give up have a good cry and then onwards and upwards as ferrals said 1st ivf is always a trial !!!
Just came here to give you an update but first: Sunbeam - What you need right now is a real life hug, as Alice said. It is OK to feel hopeless and sad sometimes, especially with all you have been through. You have mentioned before trying somebody else as a Donor Daddy, do you think it may be worth a try? You did have all those beautiful eggs... I hope your cruise is somewhere sunny, so it will lift your mood.
AFM - coming back here. I started spotting on Wednesday, and last night I think the miscarriage completed. I went for BT yesterday, but I just do not see how it would not be a mc with all the blood. It pretty much feels like a normal period, maybe a bit more of the thick red blood (sorry for TMI). Right now, I think I want to try again, but I always long for another pregnancy immediately after mc. Right before this BFP I was coming to terms with the fact that we may never have another child and it did not sound so bad to me at all, so perhaps in a few weeks I will change my mind. But for now, I will hang around here, because you are a great group of ladies and you understand.
BTW, when people ask me "so when is another one coming", will it be rude if I tell them "probably never, I had 2 mc since the first one was born". I mean, c'mon people, I am 43, another child is not just a matter of planning and putting the condom away for me. And my reproductive plans are not any of your business. And I do not see any shame in mc, so I am not planning to keep it secret like some awful thing I did. I am not planning to volunteer this information, but since they are asking... Do you think it is in a bad taste on my part?
Alice - thinking of you. What kind of night did you have last night? I hope there was more sleep involved.
Sunbeam - I'm sorry you didn't get your BFP. I don't want to write things like "I'm sure you will get one next time around" because I think it dismisses how you are feeling now. BUT, you usually get pregnant so easily and the IVF will be weeding out the bad ones so there is every chance you will conceive again and with the extra attention from the FS against NK cells then that next pregnancy has a better chance than your previous ones. I don't think there is an end to the journey until you believe there is and your desire to be a Mum is just so very strong that I think you have more in you yet. I wish I could do something to ease your pain. Life's just no fair, is it?
Luna - oh sweetie, I didn't want to see you back here. I'm so sorry for your loss. I think it's too hard to give up TTC after a miscarriage because all you want is to be pregnant again. That is why I am still here. If I didn't get pregnant I would have given up after a year of TTC. But here I am more than 2 years later still trying.
I tell everyone about my miscarriages. I often find strangers are more sympathetic than the people you are close too. And you get to hear about miscarriages or late life pregnancies that were successful that no one would have mentioned if you hadn't brought it up first.
Luna, I'm so sorry to read about your mc, so unfair to have lost this little one so soon I agree with India's Mum, I don't think it is bad taste to mention your loss at all. I think one of the hardest things to deal with about mc is that it isn't talked about and it makes it so much harder to deal with so if it helps, then don't hold back. Take care and I'm glad you've decided to stay with us x
India's Mum, thanks I have had two good nights of sleep now and feel so much better. I'm worried (well, I'm always worried about something) that missing all that sleep will have affected whether these embies have stuck but nothing I can do about it now except hope it hasn't made any difference.
Saffy, Clairesmummy, Intheslowlane, Mildez, Porsche, HappyBaby, Crafty, Ferrals, T-hopes, MatthewsMum...who have I missed? Hope you're all doing well and having a good start to the weekend.
Well, I don't know what to think, woke up this morning with swollen sore boobs, I keep poking them to check and they are definitely bigger and sore?? I know these things can come and go and can also be part of PMS so feel confused and uncertain and just wish this week could be over please. So nervous about it, whether to test or not, whether to go to the blood test or not, what if what if what if. It's going to take all my energy to distract myself. Going to start by having a nap now. I do have work to do so will try throw myself into that. Sorry for posting so much, you'll all be sick of me by the end of this week if you aren't already!
hi everyone,so much to catch up on ,but i'll try...ferrals-glad scan went well...clairesmummy-clomid has a good success rate,i've been on (didn't find the side effects too bad,they usually start you on a small dose,then going by the blood test they can increase dose)...sunbeam-sorry your little embie didn't stick....luna-sorry to read you've been bleeding,have you got your results back yet...alice-we could never get sick of you,hope your little embies are snuggling into all those layers of love you have for them...saffy-your on your way...t-hopes-glad bubs is doing well...toomanyshoes-welcome to the thread,sorry for your losses...afm-acupuncurist wants more bt's done,gp doesn't think they are neccessary,so waiting to hear back from acupuncturist to see what she suggests i do.af arrived today,i was expecting her as got a bfn when i poas ,i knew it was a really big long shot this month.
Congrats to the BFP's It is fantastic news for all of us when we have a success.
Sunbeam, I could cry for you. The heartache, there are no words for it.
AFM, I've decided to let it go for now. The anger and the dream. Whether we'll be able to add to our family is not in my hands and because of that I have to leave it to a higher being. It's driving me nuts and is not good for my family. If and when I'm ready next year, I'll give those little snowbabies the best chance I can.
Hoping you all receive the news you're longing for.
Crafty: Thanks Crafty. I didn't have a d & c but i did bleed for 10wks so the lining's a little thin from that i guess. ANy sign of AF yet? Hope you are getting better sleep now.
Luna: So sorry that your BFP did not stay with you.
Mildez: thanks. 'O symptoms can be pretty uncomfortable and it worried me cos i never had it before i had a baby. Good to know other people have had these 'O' symptoms too.
Sunbeam: Really sorry you got a BFN. It's understandable that you have been feeling pretty down. You've put everything into getting your baby. I think there's a period of grief every time there is a loss and it's hard to bypass that even if you do, after a few days, pick yourself up again and get hopeful for the next cycle. I hope you get spoilt lots by your friends and family in the meantime.
Saffy: interesting that you've had a similar experience to me with 'O' pain you never used to get before pg. Wierdo indeed we are! Our bodies must be more sensitive or something after all they've been thru? Yay for finishing the pill and starting jabbing. I'll need to be injecting clexane if i do get UTD. How do you go giving yourself injections? Do you manage to do it yourself or get DH to do it? Do you have to close your eyes?! I'm a total 'wus' (spelling?!)
T-hopes: i'm thinking of seeing the naturopath to see if she can help me get my body more ready for pg...lining included! Glad it worked for you. Lovely to see your HCG climbing. xx
Alice: oh that horrid TWW must be doing your head in. Pg is a tricksy thing and lots of people don't get clear signs and one pg to another is different...and often AF symptoms are similar. Baaaaaah! I've been pg three times now and still can't really tell reliably which cycles have worked and which haven't until around the time AF is due. So you may have to wait a little longer for clearer signs. Nothing to do but drink hot choccy and wait. We are waiting and hoping with you.
Intheslowlane: wishing you a good recovery so that you will feel ready to move forward with whatever you decide.
too many shoes: not sure if i welcomed you to the thread. Sorry you have to be here in the LTTTC thread. It's not a club anyone wants to join but if you're already there then it's good to speak to others who get it...and there are stories of hope in here too.
India's mum, mathews's mum, ferrals:Hi to all you lovely ladies and anyone i've missed.
AFM: finally decided that life's too short to put TTC on hold for work reasons. And after all the agonising DH and i had a tiff at just the wrong moment and i think we missed the egg. Grrr! Had 'O' pains and EWCM Thursday night and Friday morning but didn't 'kiss and make up' till Fri night. Too late?
LT TTC after Miscarriage or Loss #5
What you need right now is a real life hug, as Alice said. It is OK to feel hopeless and sad sometimes, especially with all you have been through. You have mentioned before trying somebody else as a Donor Daddy, do you think it may be worth a try? You did have all those beautiful eggs... I hope your cruise is somewhere sunny, so it will lift your mood. 
It is fantastic news for all of us when we have a success.
The heartache, there are no words for it. 
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