Emma, I am sorry that you have to go through this heartache sometime life can throw some surprises our way at the time we least expected. Just like you and DH, we felt so blessed and thought we made it when we first found out we were pregnant July last year. I m/c at 8wk5Ds, it is a missed m/c as well, bub's heart just stopped at 2nd scan. It was the worst day in my life and reading your post, I have tears in my eyes and felt my heart is breaking all over again.

How do we go on? I wasn't sure at the time but I allowed myself to take one step at the time, grief, be sad and have a break. The silver lining for me is, as heartbroken as it is, that was my very first pregnancy, and I know I CAN get pregnant, the reason for the missed m/c is due to chromosonal abnormalty but my body responded to pregnancy really well. To me, find the answers is also part of the healing process to move on.

I agree with Sushee, we don't have to put on a brave face if we don't feel like it. Be true to yourself. I don't force myself to be a superwoman, I curl into my sanctury when I need it, but I do allow myself to have hope. I try not to plan too far away, because I find as much as i like to plan, thinking too down the track somehow confuses me, scares me and depress me...I would never have thought that we have the strength to TTC for 5 years, but here we are, still going.

I also know what you mean about how many cycles IVF we do until we say 'stop'. We have said we will do 3, now we are just about to start the 3rd cycle, maybe 3rd time lucky. But I don't want to force myself to make that decision right now. I always believe that you can't make the right decision until you are then and there to know exactly how you feel.

So there, I don't have much wisdom to offer but I know we all do, at the end of the day, chasing the dream we want it so much, no matter where we draw our strength. Because the desire of wanting a baby is too hard to stop.

Take care of yourself Possums, knowing that we are all here when you need some support.