N2L - I felt like I had to reply to your post, because I have had such similar feelings of anger and bitterness at times. I really really wish for a twist in the tale for you. But I really think like you say it can be important to acknowledge that AC isn't always a miracle solution for everyone. I have a few close friends who have closed the door on it, and are moving on. I really hope that you get some peace with moving on, if you choose and/or some peace with continuing to try. I think it's really brave to be honest about the negative side too.
lots of love,
WW
x