just want to pop in and offer Ali the biggest of big hugs right now - hun, unfortunately i know exactly how you feel and the heartache is just horrible.

take your time coming to terms with what has happened - you're allowed to grieve, and be angry, and ask all the "why me" questions you can possibly think of - i sure as hell am!

when you're ready, i'm sure you will see the positives that BW has pointed out - that silver lining in a very dark cloud, but i won't tell you that you need to see it straight away - just when you're ready hun. we're here to support you as much as you need it

if you want to chat to someone who is going through the same thing, you can PM me anytime hun

take care

BG