williever, jasmine and beau.... This journey surely does suck.

FX it is holding in tight Jasmine

Beau - I have heard some people get brown discharge and still have a BFP... Unfortunately there is nothing you can do but wait.... Sigh. Too much waiting in this game isnt there!!

Williever... I hate FB announcements too... Sigh...

AFM....

Went to the FS today and he suggested we defrost four of the embryos and try to grow some to day 5. I am glad he wants to do this. He officially called the June cycle a biochemical pregnancy.... Which felt weird... So one miscarriage, one biochem.... Six unsuccessful cycles... Sigh...
I also asked him whether it would be better for me to just lose the weight and then transfer them... He said no... Due to my age it was better to keep transferring, as if we need to do another cycle I will be getting older and older.... The weight didnt matter as much as my age. Somehow that was reassuring... Of course losing weight is a good idea (and he said that) but knowing that I don't have to keep putting things off because of it, makes me feel a bit less like it is my fault. He said the embryos are all standard quality embryos... Of various sizes... One 6 cell, one 5 cell, one 2 cell, two, 3 cell and one 4 cell. He said we have done all the tests we an possibly do... One of them was slightly elevated but he said that shouldn't be a problem (I didn't catch which one) essentially... There is nothing wrong with me.... And nothing wrong with DH... It's just bad luck.... He said that if I don't get pregnant from this cycle we should consider PGD for the next cycle.... He said that the odds of getting UTD are 38% with PGD no matter what the age of the mother. That was comforting.

So have a new job to start in three weeks... Which will be about the same time that I start a cycle... If I do... I think I want to, but am a bit apprehensive about doing that when I have just started the job... Although at least I only have to take one day off for a transfer... So I don't have to say anything about IVF just yet (not real keen on telling a new boss that I am actually trying to leave already!!

Anyhoo... This month just going to enjoy life... If that means I have a drink or two and a chocolate bar occasionally I will... I am pretty sick and tired of saying I can't have things....

Warmer weather certainly helps increase the motivation to be healthy though.

Best training course this week.... Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.... Look up the Happiness Trap by Russ Harris.... It's such a different way of thinking... I am totally focusing on being this way for myself... !!