Cheryl - i'm a control freak from way back too, so i completely understand that feeling of anxiety when something is so completely out of your control! it's completely natuaral to feel apprehensive hun. not only are you facing IVF, your facing the hurdle of overcoming a bad outcome last time which makes it even more frightening. when you add to that everything you have going on in your life at the moment, you're bound to feel very nervous. every little twinge (or lack of) is likely to be analysed and compared to your last cycle and will sometimes come up wanting (been there hun and it sucks!)
one thing to remind yourself through all of this - IVF is an experimentation game - every time they try a new dosage or new protocol, the FS is trying to find the perfect "fit" for you. for some people, first go is the treat. unfortunately, for some of us, it takes a bit more jiggling. you're sure to be closely monitored through all of this, and there are still a lot of different protocols they can try. from a physical perspective, it's an annoyance we can deal with, from an emotional perspective, this is a really tough journey. please don't feel that there is anything wrong with letting the emotional side of things get to you. this is your DREAM that you're fighting for - and there is a hell of a lot of emotion tied up in taking the steps to achieve that dream. make use of every avenue available to you to help in coping emotionally - your DP, the girls (and guys) here on BB, the counsellors through the IVF clinic.... and don't ever feel like being emotional through this is wrong - i'd be worried if you didn't end up emotional hun!
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