Bec, sorry, I called you "Bed". I can't type today.

BW - it's a fairly typical bloke thing I reckon. Good on him. Wish I knew more blokes in the same boat, because I just fob off all of the others except for my best mates who I have told and they are all awesome fellas.

Sparkles, I was so pleased to read your post. Not pleased that you guys are having trouble, but just pleased that someone else is having the same issues as me. Makes me feel like less of a leper.

OK, to answer your questions which I am very happy to do:

1. We live in Tasmania

2. I had two initial tests done at pathology. The first routine one which was the worst, then another 3 days later because I decided to. This one was better as far as motility but still crap for defects. I've since given another sample (I'm a factory) to the specialist andrology ppl and will get the results on the 19th. Not expecting any better, but perhaps a bit worse because apparently they "grade it harder" with specialist testing. The FS says its only to determine which treatment we need and not whether I can get the job done because she assures me that I can. Between the GP appts and the FS appt, I had convinced myself that I couldn't be a father, so just hearing that they could do something was awesome.

3. The abnormalities I've got are almost all to do with the head section (96%). 40% or thereabouts havie dodgy midsections and the tails are all pretty much OK. Which is pretty much like having a car with no engine I reckon.

4. ICSI adds about $500 to a standard IVF cycle, and the good news is as of last month I think, Medicare now covers it. However, we are with Sydney IVF and they charge mega bucks for anything (like $200 for an ultrasound the other day for my wife) so I guess it will still add more to the bill. That's not to say SIVF are bad, because we are very impressed so far. Not that we have any other choice on the island. The only other place that does IVF employs one of our old uni friend's as an IVF scientist!

5. ICSI not much more complicated than IVF. They just inject the sperm into the egg instead of letting the sperm enter on its own in a dish.


It seems heaps of ppl we know are pregnant, or have kids etc and we don't know anyone who has had trouble. But I guess you never do because most ppl keep it fairly quiet. WE all just notice the babies now, not the ppl who may or may not be struggling! Don't worry, what you are feeling is so normal and what everyone feels.

Don't despair, unless you both have massive issues (which you don't), IVF has a great success rate. My FS said my case is only mild to moderate in severity which staggered me. I think it's safe to assume that your bloke could be described similarly. Whatever you do, live life normally and don't let it consume you. Chances are, you'll get there in the end.

Definitely stay in touch, I'm so pleased you posted!