Long Term TTC & Assisted Conception - Nov 2007

BB - i find that the main thing i notice with the puregon is the upset tummy. yes, i have hormonal changes (don't we all?!) but i've found the puregon does upset my tummy more than a little. i have IBS though, so figure i'm going to be one of thoe lucky people that if a drug says "might cause upset tummy" i'm going to get one no matter what!!

as BW mentioned, the water is to try to help you avoid OHSS. when you're stimming, a lot of extra fluid is drawn to your reproductive organs (hehehe, normal month you get one, maybe two follies - on ivf, you might get 20, so lots more fluid filled bits down there!). It is important to stay hydrated to stop that causing you any other health issues. BW has had OHSS pretty badly, so i'm sure she'll come back later and fill you in on the details!

Thanks BG for picking up between the lines about how I'm feeling and for telling me not to worry. It really helps to know that there's people here who have been through it all and understand where you're coming from, whatever it may be that day :hug:

TL: Thinking of you today with your BT :)
Kell: Distractions are great, aren't they? It draws the focus away from the heaviness all the time :) What are you studying? Are you enjoying it?

Afternoon All,

Wow so much happens I think I had to read through 3 pages to catch up :)

Weekend was great and my DH and I had a gr8 9 month wedding anniversary celebration. went out for lunch and dinner and spent about 4 hours veging out on the couch watching Lost season 1 - thank god for dreary rainy days but yeah we had a top non IVF and AC day/night .. last night my AF arrived so I madly dashed into the clinic in Sydney this am stressing that because it was earlier than they told me somehow my cycle was ruined but they assured me all is ok and I will prob start stimming early next week I think on Gonal-F I believe - yay more injections ...

Anyway a big sorry to everyone who has received bad news - my thoughts are with as I know how devastating news like that can be ... sending you all :hug: and hope that it helps even in the smallest bit ...

butterfly_warrior - how are your lucrin injections going? I have my b/t on wednesday and am on track after stopping the pill and what a difference not taking the pill makes to moodiness !!!

Miss C - how are you coping with your injections too hun ? I give you big points and to anyone else who can do them themselves, I just cannot fathom injection myself and am so thankful my DH does them for me ... here is hoping that you relish in not being on the pill anymore (today or tomorrow?) .. it makes such a difference that I really hadnt realised the big ogre I had become for the short few days (or weeks to my DH lol)

Missy - good luck tomorrow :pray: that everything goes well for you ...

Ray & Vickie - welcome and hope that you both have a short stay here with everyone in here ... and that your journey is a successful one ..

Dusty - thanks for the welcome and I hope that everything continues well for you ... good luck hun with everything ..

Scorpio - so sorry to hear your news, no words can make you feel any better about what has happened, but I hope your body and mind gets the relaxation and renewal it is after

Slyder - sorry to hear that you are out of the running, hope you and your DW are doing ok ...

Sorry to anyone I missed, just trying to catch up on all the news !

Hi Missc, I am studying for a masters in writing and literature. The good part about is that even though I am done officially, for the year, I can 'practice' my writing over summer, and plan my research for the semester ahead. It has also been great to write about infertility and send it out there, out of me. Powerful stuff! And yes, I love it. Planning a wedding will be a wonderful distraction - enjoy!

Negative BT result for us this cycle heres hoping for strengh and a better result in the New Year

i'm so sorry TL - sending you huge cyber hugs hunny

Oh Tiggerlinda, I'm sorry to hear the news. I'm thinking of you. Lots of care and wishes for a good rest to take care of yourself.

Oh Linda so sorry hun! Thinking of you and DH :hug:

CD39 here and getting a little annoyed :(

Hi girls, Sharon again here. I'm sort of teetering between the 6mth+ and LTTTC/AC threads so I hope you dont mind that I haven't been popping in consistently.

My second IUI attempt is some time later this week. I feel differently this time around, pretty flat today and was teary last night. I don't think it would be the hormones as my FSH injection is pretty low (50iui) - and I wasn't affected on my first IUI cycle. But my emotions just feel so on the surface today! I think it's just that yucky feeling of worry about it not working. It's hard to keep positive all the time, isn't it!

I haven't read back yet on where you girls are all up to so I'd just like to wish you all the best anyway :grouphug: . Tiggerlinda - so, so sorry about your disappointing BT results :hugs:

We need a bit of Christmas magic here girls! I hope we get those Christmas emoticons back, they were cool last year !

So sorry to hear about the bad result, TL. Rest up, recoup your strength for next year. :hug:

Deni, welcome!

As for me... finally got over the crappy mood I was in yesterday. Family problems. I'm more than ready to tell them all to go to hell and that I won't see any of them for Christmas at all. I kinda wish Christmas wasn't so close, too. So ready to just pretend Christmas doesn't exist and let it all pass on by without me. Would be nice to be able to concentrate on the current cycle a little more, and forget about Christmas, but I don't think family are going to make that too easy for me.

BW

Deni - welcome hun - i know how hard it is to stay positive hun. have my fingers crossed for you

BW - it's time for you to just say "it's all about me!" yes, they're your family, and yes, they make demands on your time, and yes (as much as you're angry with them) you still love them underneath it all - BUT - you are the only one that you need to focus on right now (well, you and DH). Christmas is about celebrating family and love - not being forced into a situation that you're not comfortable with. Take each and every day as it comes, don't commit to anything you're not ready to commit to - and if, when that date rolls around, you're not ready to be around your family, then simply don't do it! you and DH are the heart of your family now - having extended family is wonderful, but being around them at the expense of your own mental health just isn't worth it

thinking of you hun

BG

Thanks everyone for your support.

Sharon stay postive it can and will happen!

Shannon - how frsutrating hang in there :)

best go catch up on work

HI All
Negative BT results for us today too. Although I was kind of expecting it, I am still devasted. My next appointment is not till 16th to find out the next step.
TL - I am so sorry about your BT result too. One day it has to happen for us (all of us!).
Well, take care girls, hope you all pick a winner at the Melbourne Cup tommorrow.
xo

Peta, I'm sorry to hear about your BFN. :hug: Better luck next time.

BG, you are so incredibly correct, yet again. The problem is that while I know I need to put myself first, it just isn't easy. How do you tell your mother that she can't come and stay for a week when you'll be finding out the result of the current IVF cycle without actually telling her there's a current IVF cycle? How do you tell the other side of the family that you don't want to travel hundreds of km to see the whole family because I have absolutely no desire to spend Christmas with people I don't know (I've met DH's brothers once each, one SIL once, the other SIL never, two nieces never at all, and the other niece and nephew once), nor do I have any desire to tell what amounts to random strangers about IVF (yes, I know I tell random strangers about IVF here on BB every single day - totally different to face to face communication!). How do I tell my family that I have no desire to spend Christmas with them because evidence is pointing to my sister having a special little announcement for us all. How do I protect myself from that without incurring the wrath of my mother? How can I be honest about how I feel (which I need to be), when exposed to that sort of thing... if I'm right, it will be done publicly, flamboyantly, and DH and I will have no escape, no respite and mum will lecture me about being a snotty little brat if I don't overflow with joy and enthusiasm...

*sigh*

I just can't see how to do it. I know I need to put myself first, but family is making that so much harder to do. I don't want to tell any of the family about the current cycle (due to their tendency to call and ask before we're ready to tell), but it appears that it's the only way to make them give us the space we need... except it just doesn't work!

I'm about to head into another long and ranty vent here. My psychologist doesn't get back until the 18th of December, I'm really struggling with all of this, and I hate the fact I'm already having anxiety attacks about Christmas in early November!

Anyone have any advice here?

BW

Hi everyone. I've been away for a night and already I'm behind. Thoughts with those of you who have had a neg result as well. Hopefully a new year and new cycles will bear fruit for us all.

Hi Everyone

Far out, there are so many newbies in here, I'm so sorry I can't welcome you all personally
Welcome to all of the lovely newbies ;)

Rols (still not used to your new name yet... soon!!!) - So sorry to hear your results xxx
Hoping that the new year brings new energy and a completely different result for next cycle - Sending lots of positive thoughts your way for next time :)

TL - I'm so sorry, hun :hugs:
Next time will be the one - Take the time over Christmas to be naughty and have some wine & choccy and all things bad for you before you start again in the new year xxx

Peta - Sweetie, so sorry also xxx

BW - I'm not sure what to offer you sweetie in regards to the family probs
This happened to me last year - we got yet another BFN from our 4th cycle in November and then we backed up to go and spend Christmas with DH's family - His sister had her 4 month old son there, and then announced to everyone over lunch that she was expecting baby #2... and was almost 10weeks - so basically fell pg as soon as she came home from hospital after giving birth :rolleyes:
People don't think about what they say, but her words were along the lines of "OMG how easy was that, not even thinking about it - Pregnancy just happens in this family"...hhhmmm, Really???!!! My reply was a grumbled mess, but it made for an uncomfortable day for me and lots of over the top fake smiles to hold myself back from tears... I was still struggling to come to terms with the result of our neg IVF cycle, let alone a newish baby and his mum pg again so soon..... All this from a girl who was a huge party girl, and was never going to have kids - and did so after much convincing from her DH.... She love sthem to death, though, and I'm happy for her - Such is life, but it sucks sometimes :(

It was hard, and the only reason I'm breathing easy this year about Christmas (another year on and we still are in no different position to last year, but both SIL's have new babies since last Christmas - both their 2nd ones), is because neither of them are having anymore children, and my brother is gay, so I know he and his partner aren't announcing anything anytime soon ;)
My only advice is that I wouldn't wish upon you what happened to me last year - Just wasn't ready to cope so soon after a negative cycle - and your cycle is going to be closer than mine was... If its not good news for you guys, (and I'm hoping, of course, that its GREAT news!!!) you will still be coming to terms with that - If you're expecting news from your sister, then its just too much to take, hun - Don't do it to yourself.
Make up anything that gets you out of it - Protect yourself, I can talk from experience, it was just way too hard (and I wasn't expecting it - you are)

Missy - Whats happening with your embies??? Hope you still have great numbers and they're nice and strong

Dusty - How are things hun?? Hope that cyst is staying out of the way xxx

To everyone else I've missed, a big hello and sorry

As for me - nothing to update, to be honest TTC this month has been a non event, DH has been away a little with work over the period I needed him to be here ;) so a pg out of this cycle will be a real real miracle!!
Will be back on track for next month, though :D

Hope everyone is wonderful!

And Nic - Yay again!!!!

xxx

Thank you, Holly. Tried to give you some reputation points for your wonderful and honest answer, but apparently I need to share it out a bit more first.

You are indeed very correct. Even if my sister doesn't have a bombshell for us, I think Christmas around them will just be too much to take, whether I get good news or bad from this cycle. I know I need to put myself first, but I guess I'm having trouble giving myself permission to do that. Will need a lot of discussion with DH, I simply do not want to spend the day around people that are clueless, tactless and completely insensitive to our situation. I suspect that I will end up having to write both families a long letter to explain why. It will make my mother sulk, but I think that it will have long-term benefits if I do. I just don't think I can take another phone call at the conclusion of a cycle, another question or comment blurted out in front of random extended family members who I really don't want to know the situation in full, another pregnancy/birth announcement dropped on me in a crowd with no preparation. I need something better/more/different from our families, but I can't see a way of telling them that right now.

I've really got myself in a pickle here.

BW

Hi all

Just a quicky.

Tigger and Peta im so sorry. Thinking of you both. :hug: :hug:

Melsta thanks for the good luck hun :)

Hey holly well havent heard from the FS so I guess no news is good. I thought they might have rang to let me know how they are going but nothing.

Im off tomorrow for my ET so feeling abit scared and excited at the same time. I will let you all know how I get on.

Peta, I'm so sorry to hear your news. Please take care of yourself - rest and recover with DH and hopefully the appointment on the 16th will be a positive one for you both.

BW,
I understand the pressure of being with extended family when you don't even know them. I have mother who is incredibly difficult to get along with, large amounts of extended family on both my parent's sides (Dad one of 10, Mum one of 8), don't get along with one of my brothers/SIL and I am incredibly uncomfortable around most of them. I don't go to many family functions anymore. Generally, I try to make plans with the people that I am comfortable with at holiday time, and then I have a legitimate reason for not being at family functions. I make plans to be with DF (of course) and my friends at Christmas. Be around the people in your life who make you happy. If your mother is going to call you snotty little brat, then she is obviously someone who isn't going to make you happy or even try to consider your happiness, nor does it sound like your ILs will either. I know they are in your life and that is what family is there for and it can't be avoided, but you have a right to do what is best for you and DH. You can't feel guilty for other people's reactions to what YOUR needs are. It shouldn't have to be your problem. That's a lot easier said than done - especially when there is a reaction there. I have cut off all contact with family at times as a result of family members reactions to my needs and things I wouldn't do that they wanted me to, especially when they have tried the guilt routine and it feels awful at the time, but it does a hell of a lot of good in the longer term. They learn to respect your needs. You deserve to, need to, have a right to, should have your family respect you and DH's needs. And most importantly, ahead of always having to consider your family's needs.

The other thing I have done to express my needs in a certain situation is to write a letter (in this case to my mother) telling her my feelings. My family members get so wrapped up in how they themselves are feeling and being affected that they have no idea that you have feelings and needs yourself. If you can express logically and indirectly, passively - but with heart - how you are feeling and that you need your space at this time, she can't come and stay with you and there is a very reasonable and logical reason why you are requesting this without telling her the reason why and she must accept that, perhaps she can face it in her own time - she may have a chance to step in your shoes before she starts ranting. Same goes for your IL's. Write to them to express that you need space at this time to cope, and ask them to put themselves in your shoes.

I know this kind of thing is not foolproof and I don't know whether it would be an answer for you, BW, but I hope it's helpful in some way. You absolutely deserve to look after yourself and put your own needs first, and not to feel guilty for doing that.

Miss C

P.S.Oh, and yes, BB is full of strangers that we can all talk to, but we're not random strangers - we are all here for a purpose and we can be here for each other, to support each other and talk to each other for a purpose. It's a wonderful thing, it is :)

Good luck, Missy. I'm constantly amazed at the differences between different clinics. I got a phone call from mine every single day to update me on the progress of my embryos - right up until the very last one was frozen or declared too dodgy to use.

BW

Missy, I'll be thinking of you tomorrow for your ET. Stayed relaxed and breathe, sweetie!

Hi Sharon - I hope tomorrow's a better day for your with your emotions. One day at a time, and keep venting as much as you need! We're here for you if you need :)

Slyder, I'm so sorry to hear your news. Instinct serves pretty well - trusting your own gut about the result a few days ago - I hope that you and DW are doing ok and can relax and rest for a while. Heartfelt thoughts and wishes for the new year for you.

TL i am so sorry hun. i hope that the next stage in your treatment will bring you joy early in the new year :hug:

peta, it still hurts heaps hun. be kind to yourself and use BB to vent or whatever you need to do. :hug:

BW, it is a hard one as there are so many relationships involved and so many people to deal with in your situation. i know a little about your story and about your mum, and i was thinking can you hold out a helping hand for her - such as what i did for my mum and family who were supportive but didn't 'understand' what i was going through, so they just didn't know what to say or do. i ended up buying mum the book Sex at 6pm which goes through a year in the life of a couple going through IVF. it is a no holds back description of what the actual process is, but for me the strength of the book is the conversation going on in the mind of the woman undergoing IVF. it has made a HUGE difference for my mum and sister as they have had a window into the emotional journey of an infertile couple. they now just let me lead the way and there is no judgement or unhelpful suggestions only support. i HTH :hug:

BG, not long to go now hun. there is going to be heaps of support in here and looks like a whole heap of people joining you at the same time.

shannon, aggghhh you poor thing. where is the witch!

missy, sending you loads of :stickyvibesboy: tomorrow. you have been amazing hun, after last time you have just gotten back on the horse and focused on your goal.

miss_c, i can be 'light' on BB when i want, but quite a bit of the time, particularly during a cycle, i don't want to. i find it hard to be light with my friends as they are all a bit cautious about it all with me, and they don't want to make jokes for fear of hurting me. DH and i crack the most inappropriate IVF/infertility jokes though which keeps things light and puts things into perspective.

melsta, happy 9 month anniversary!

hello to everyone else! wishing you all happy injecting, BDing or whatever it is you need to have your dream come true :)

CD 16 here and still on the stims. my cyst is a little bigger as are my follies. but they are all not growing much so my EPU is pushed out to at least Thurs at this stage. we found a 9th follie today :) , so a record crop for me :) i am feeling like a pin cushion with 2 or 3 injections a night, regular BTs and am a bit off in la la land a lot of the time. i can't wait for the trigger!

BW, Really. Oh bummer, wonder why not with me. Id like to know what is happening as I dont evern know how many have made it. Ive been tempted to call but dont want to be a pain. IYKWIM. They just told me that ET is at 11.15am on Tuesday and to be here 10 mins before and if they didnt make it they would call. Id like to hear how they are going. That would be nice.

DW I really hope your EPU is thursday hun. Good luck with the bt's and come on little follies grow. Good luck hun!!

Miss C thanks so much hun. soz new i missed some one. thanks for the good luck:)

:

---

P.S.Oh, and yes, BB is full of strangers that we can all talk to, but we're not random strangers - we are all here for a purpose and we can be here for each other, to support each other and talk to each other for a purpose. It's a wonderful thing, it is :)

---

well said miss_c :clap: :) it is so lovely of you to acknowledge and share that

Missy, from memory we got a call the day after EPU to tell us the fert. results, and then a call a couple of days later to say that they were progressing. We didn't hear anything prior to transfer, and nothing prior to FET so just assumed things were OK, which they were.

Miss C and Holly, thanks for your thoughts. We're going OK. DW can't wait to get off the pessaries and drugs in general and it will be nice to have a bit of a break until next year.

'Lo all, it's new thread time again.