Hi girls, I miss u guys! Although I have been absent I have still been checking up on you all. DH is ok, we are sorting it out. I will hopefully be back in a few weeks and back on the ttc wagon
Good luck everyone xx
hi tasha - glad things are sounding more positive, look fwd to having you back really soon.
dr's appt went well today, agreed to my crazy list of stuff to test for, even threw in a few extras i hadnt asked for. although i did have another pap smear drama - 3 speculums & 2 x dr's later we managed to get it done. naturopath appt went well too, really nice to talk to her again and have a plan to boost my mood & health. actually looking fwd to starting those foul tasting herbs. might not get me pregnant, but will put me in a better space when i try again. hope you've all had a great day. xx
(mich - miss you too & im sure im not the only one stalking your progress in the other thread...!)
Saffy- Yes I remember you from last year aswell. I have been on and off BB since then. BB has helped me so much after the loss of Lucy, even though I don't post a whole lot, it was a wealth of information and comfort.
Joeve- I am now cd1
AFM- My younger sister who has a daughter (surprise pregnancy) almost 2 now, has been getting a lot of questions about when they will be having their next child by family and friends. My sister had a pretty rough start with it being a surprise and with me losing my first pregnancy at 12 weeks, she kept it a secret until she was about 19 weeks as she didn't want to upset me. Anyway motherhood wasn't all that she thought it would be, I think it was harder than she thought, her daughter was a terrible sleeper and as much as she loves her and wouldn't change things for the world, having a a baby certainly put a dint in her very social life and she has since said she won't be having anymore kids until her daughter is 5 or so. Anyway, recently I have overheard her saying to relatives and friends on a couple of occasions when ask when she is planning the next, that "she couldn't possible think of having any more children until I have managed to have one"! I am not sure if it is because I am extra emotional lately, but I find it horiifying that she is saying this to prople. I already feel inadequate, now I am holding her back. I don't think she even wants anymore children at the moment but I think she thinks people will think she is being, I don't know, ?? selfless maybe?
Am I over reacting because of my mentalness, I am losing my gauage with these types of things!
Also, I have had the feeling that AF was not to far away for about a week or so, but crazily kept POAS just in case it was pregnancy twinges. But each HPT I did couldn't be anymore negative. Yesterday was my birthday and I had a pretty terrible day. I didn't go to work and spent most of the day just feeling sorry for myself and just generally feeling devestated that this is not where I thought I would be right now. My little girl should be 2 months old now. It just made me think of all the milestones and anniversaries that will now be different, I especially think about how this year I would be having my first mothers day. Anyway, I think I am just extra emotional because I was due for AF. Despite all the POAS I wasn't overly hopeful for this month as I sort of sabotaged DTD around O by avoiding DH or picking arguments, I think I was just terrified of having another loss and yet now I feel angry at myself that I didn't even try because there's no chance of getting BFP without DTD, that's generally how it works!
Anyway, I am just putting it down to Mental-Me this month and trying to move on?!
I don't think I am going to take clomid this month, I'm not sure I can handle the extra mentalness that comes with it. I think we will just have a natural cycle and see how we go...
Thank-you for listening, I needed to get all that of my chest!
2013 BellyBelly RAK Recipient.
naturopath appt went well too, really nice to talk to her again and have a plan to boost my mood & health. actually looking fwd to starting those foul tasting herbs. might not get me pregnant, but will put me in a better space when i try again. hope you've all had a great day. xx
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