LT TTC after Miscarriage and Loss #2

Mathewsmum-I have an u/s booked for 9am tomorrow morning.

Alice-cycles and ttc rule your life when faced with the possibility of never falling pregnant again doesn't it.
Every where i look there are signs like BFP and BFN on number plates i have even seen FSH and AMH :shakehead: pretty sad i know and every month is timed from AF until O and the scheduled BDin then the tww so actually this month with us doing IVF it has been less stressful believe it or not we have fooled around because we want to and it has been great.
I know the next few days when i have EPU and waiting to see if any embryos make it is going to be stressful and the tww (if we get to that) is going to be hell the lead up has been ok.
Your EDD is going to bring lots of what if's i hope you get through it ok i am coming up to Abbi's EDD for the 2nd year so it should be her 1st birthday if everything went normally but i am hopeing i have some good news this year to take my mind off the what if's.

:(:angry:I am a f#cking idiot,
I can't believe i let myself get excited my follicles have not responded since Thursdays u/s they have not grown one f#cking millimeter out of 20+ follicles all of them on the right side are to small about 10mm and on the left of the 13 follicles only four are 15mm and one is 16mm so she said by the looks of it only 1 is ready for EPU i can not believe it how can i respond perfectly and then just stop my E2 was only 2700 on Thursday so even that is totally different then my last cycle the doctor is upping my dose of puregon tomorrow not sure of the dose until my BT results for today come back and then i have a repeat BT and u/s Monday and if i haven't got at least 5 follicles at 18mm the cycle will be cancelled and we have to wait until August to try again i am so f#cked at the moment when is our bad luck going to change what have we done to deserve this sh#t.
How can i have 20+ follicles and then only 1 is big enough even the doctor could not explain it she said my FSH was normal my E2 was fine i have heaps of follicles my uterus lineing is perfect she just said it could be because of the lead follicle or i am just haveing a bad month:o WTF! with 20+ follies how is that possible.
I am at a loss when is this sh#t going to end i cant take much more of the disapointment and heartache something has to give and i think it will be me

Oh ferrals that is ridiculous and f@#$ed :wall:. How can our bodies be so weird when we just want them to do the right thing? I know nothing I say today will help, all I can do is hope your good follies grow well over the weekend with the extra meds. Isn't it always the bit we don't worry about that bites us in the butt!!

Thanks sunbeam but the doctor and i doubt it will make a difference she said they need to grow at least 4mm between now and monday morning and that is unlikely and to top it off she also said if there isn't a good number of big ones it would be a waste of time going for EPU as we need to grow ours to day 5 because of our bad gene it will help to get a healthy embryo and you need at least 5 eggs to try to get one to day 5 blast.
But the doctor did say if they cancel my cycle we can still try naturally as long as there is only one lead follicle because on an orgalutran cycle if cancelled you don't need a trigger you just stop takeing it and your body will naturally O so at least i can time BDing.
I just cant believe my body what is the point of making so many follicles.
And i looked at my old cycle records and my E2 was 6240 on day 6 were this time it was 2700 on day 9 :o that is f#cked i am on day 11 today and last cycle my E2 was 16400 i am waiting to find out what todays is but i bet it isn't good.
F#CK! F#CK! F#CK!

Hi ladies,

I've been lurking around here for a while (have been posting in the LTTTC & AC thread - too lazy to do both) but think maybe I kind of belong here a bit more now. Don't want to go on about myself too much especially seeing as there is so much happening with everyone in here at the moment, but I'd better at least let you know where I'm at. Have just done my 4th FET and have gotten a wierd result - yet again! Hcg is present and my numbers are going up but are still really low. FS said that there is only about a 3-5% chance of pregnancy surviving and that I should expect a mc very soon and if that doesn't happen he'll scan me at 6/7 weeks to confirm there's no heartbeat and then probably a d&c. It's the most horrible feeling knowing that I will more than likely mc in the next couple of weeks. Obviously am clinging to that tiny chance it will all be fine, but not very tightly.

Anyway, just wanted to be around some people who know what it's like.

Best of luck to where you are all up to in your cycles!!

Just got the ph call i have to up my dose to 225 my E2 and other hormones are perfect just unlucky that all the other recruit follicles didn't grow they think because of that lead follicle looks like only 5 will be big enough at EPU NOT HAPPY!!!! so much for me hopeing for 15 eggs yeah right.

Ferrals - how disappointing with all those follies! Still 5 is better than none lets just hope they get their butts in gear and grow big and strong over the weekend. Its so odd how individual cycles can be so different. If your E2 is still not too high can they not wait a day or 2 more or will you O by yourself by then?

Kaybee - Welcome to our thread. I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. I do so hope that your numbers come up and your little bean makes it :comfort: You are definitely in the right place we can all sympathize.

AFM - just wanted to say that I popped into PAML today just to keep up with what is going on and 2 other ladies have just mc again. Obviously I feel immensely sorry for them but it also fills me with total dread that I too will mc again so I'm afraid I have vowed not to go over there again and will be staying right here till you kick me out. I have also booked in for another bt on monday as friday's scan seems so far away still.

Sunbeam, we are so not kicking you out - you stay right here please where we can give you as much support as we can. I know the fear of another mc must be very high and I hope we can help you through that and share the excitement of seing a healthy little bub growing strong inside you.

Ferrals - I can't believe it, no wonder you feel like you are banging your head against the wall, it's just so damn cruel. You have not done anything to deserve this, put that out of your mind right now. As Sunbeam says, it's amazing how different once IVF cycle can be from the other, honestly it is so unpredictable and so hard to take all the changes that happen, especially when they are this unexpected. Usually the follies grow about 2mm a day but if they haven't grown since Thursday you are probably right that they won't grow anymore over the weekend but I am so hoping they do. Seems incredible to have so many and of course you want to get as many as you possibly can. If this cycle is cancelled (which I hope it isn't) they will at least be able to sort out the right dose for you for August and if that's where things get then at least I hope it all goes smoothly BUT until Monday, let's hope you get some good eggs and you get a nice healthy blastie. Fingers crossed :hug: hang in there x

Kaybee - hi there and welcome to our thread. I'm sorry you are facing the possibility of another mc and really hoping that it doesn't end that way. I'm sure you'll find a lot of love and support here - we have our mad moments but considering the journeys everyone has had, it's to be expected. Looking forward to getting to know you here

Sunbeam-I know i asked the same thing i am on cycle day 11 today so it will be day 13 on monday and by EPU wed it will be day 15 so for me that is a few extra days as i usually O between day 11 and 13.
But technically i still have 4 days until EPU so if i am really lucky and my smaller follies grow 2mm a day then all the 10mm can possibly make it to 18mm which can contain a mature egg (not great odds but possible) but as i have a few 15mm and 16mm and that horrid lead follicle of 19mm they will be going after those ones the doctor did say the lead follie will have a dud egg as it has been 18-19mm since day 2 so overcooked but i have 5 others they want to be 18mm on monday otherwise we get cancelled.
I wont O while on orgalutran so i am safe there.

Alice-I am still shocked at how one cycle my E2 skyrockets and they have to trigger me early and i lose a huge amout of follies because they don't have time to grow and now my cycle is being dragged out because my follies have stalled and my E2 is ordinary:wall: how different can two cycles be and to top it all off i am wasting all those beautiful follicles.

Anyway DH and i have decided we will go to EPU if we have 5 good sized follicles even with the chance they wont all contain mature eggs because maybe just maybe the quality of them will be good and they might do really well in our last cycle our embryos were not great due to fragmentation from sperm DNA and possibly the high E2 can cause poor egg quality so we will take the risk as it only takes one good embryo.
Now we just need some decent growth tonight and tomorrow.

COME ON FOLLIES DON'T LET ME DOWN

Sunbeam-I don't plan on leaving this thread until i pass my CVS at 12 weeks (when and if i get pregnant) and because you have had a few m/c i would be more than happy for you to hang around until you feel safe to move on.

Kaybee-I hope the doctor is wrong and those numbers are just slow to get going.

ferals- that is ****, you don't deserve it, hope they grow big soon x
kaybee- sorry you are having a tough time, welcome x
sunbeam- please stay with us a bit longer, we'll get you through to 12wksx
alice- hi mate x
can't type more, have a furbaby draped over me and typing with 1 finger xxxxx

evening everyone, ferrals-sorry you've come across another hurdle,ivf can change so quickly for better or worse,hopefully mon brings much better news,i'm thinking the smaller numbers might be better quality...kaybee-welcome to the thread,sorry for your previous loss,hope your in that 3-5% that makes it this time around...thinking of everyone,anyone heard from murraycod?

Mathewsmum-murrycod is fine she just doesnt feel like posting to much she feels like she shouldn't be posting in the ttc threads when we are all struggling and the pregnancy threads can be a bit much when there are ladies miscarring their babies and they are a bit further along then her so she is just taking it easy and trying not to stress.

ferrals-thanks,glad she is going okay

Hello all

Ferrals thanks for the kind words I do hope your right and I just need a good egg ( would be nice if I could know when that is though ) but I still have hope my dream of one more will come true,
Sorry your follies are not playing the game its so crazy all the signs look good one minute then change or rather don't change a few days later, do hope you get to egg pick at least half a dozen next week !
Say hi to murraycod I really miss her !
WElcome kaybee sorry life is not easier for you atm Ido hope your Drs are wrong if not we are here for you and know how you feel .

Sunbeam totally understand about not moving out of here I will not be moving out of here until at least 18wks if I ever get another BFP that is Lol ! so stay as long as you need to

Alice thanks for your kind words hope your dream comes true soon and we both get a BFP real soon

Mildez how you doing feeling a bit better today ?

willl pop back sunday see how everyone is

MURRAYCOD let us know how you are doing we miss you !

Morning ladies,

Crafty-Thanks for that i hope to get half dozen it's crazy how your body can just do what it wants one minute i am being told i have heaps of follies that they stop counting at 20 and then 2 days later they have all stopped growing and it's not looking good:wall:
also and i am glad you are hanging in there we need you in here and i think as long as you give it your best shot then at least there will be no regrets.

AFM-we are going to go with what ever this cycle throws at us and just hope we get one good quality one to TF we will try and push for a day 5 TF if possible.
If this cycle doesn't go well then next cycle i will do things differently if my E2 is high on day 1-2 i will not start a cycle SIVF did not let me start until my E2 was below 200 (now i know why) and if there is a lead follicle i will not start a cycle and i will also ask for 225 ui of puregon from the start seeing as my E2 is now behaving i will not worry about a higher dose i have had 2 very different cycles with one going crazy with high E2 and now one where my E2 and growth of follies has stalled:rolleyes:.
But at least the IVF ball is rolling and we will just try again as long as we can afford it.

Ferrals - F#@k!! You poor thing, you must be furious! So frustrating but there is nothing you can do... praying for a little miracle for you!!! YOu just never know!

Kaybee- Welcome, sorry to hear of the situation you are in. Such hard times, but we understand and I hope we can help you along this difficult road. xx

crafty - O day is approaching! Good luck catching that egg!! You can do it dont give up hope!

Sunbeam - so sad to hear possum and millyd's loss. it is so devastating and my heart breaks for them. But Sunbeam YOU will be ok, your bubba will be ok! I know its easy for me to say but hang in there and you will see! xx

Alice - how are things with you??

AFM - Well AF arrived in full flow today after 3 days of annoying spotting! Saw my natropath yesterday and he has put me on Vitex etc and DH is on some herbs to help his little guys! Here's to Day 1 !!! AGAIN! What can ya do?!

Hi Ladies

So much is happening. We've been away for a couple of days so I've missed a bit lol. Not much happeneing here i started sniffing again. Another 6 days of BCP and then FX AF arrives not long after.