LT TTC - First time IUI

[pollyanna]

Well Girls;
Its all over for me. I got up this morning to be greated in full force with Af. Raging like there is no tommorow. I havent cried. I feel kind of numb. My first reaction was astonishe=ment(because i was so sure)then anger at my body for letting me down once again and having wasted all this damn money on fertility treatment.It sounds stupid and i don't mean to be too philosophical but is god trying to tell me to not tempt fate. I have two wonderful adorable healthy kids. Maybe enough is enough. I'm sure i could pickup more hours at work to keep me busy. This just isnt really the plan i had in mind. I see how much all of us would love another child. Even my older kids,11 and 8. In fact especially them, but really do i want to be having a baby at 38. I most certainly didnt want to be carrying a baby over the hottest months of the year and yet that would now seem likely. My fs was lovely and said i can imagine how hurt and disappointed you are and he even said he was sorry. Which i thought was beautiful. I told him i was having second thoughts. He said sleep on it and think it over. I still have a few days up my sleeve to think about things.I also said myself that i'm probably not thinking with the right part of my brain at the moment to go making decisions,so a couple of days should help. you girls know me a little now, what do you think i should do and how should i be feeling or viewing this situation. I really care for you girls you have been a wonderful support and i value your opinions deeply. Please tell me when you get your BFP's i will be so delighted for you and elated and honoured to share in your joy. At least i can drink on the weekend now.Heheheh

[Nicole S]

Oh Polly, I'm so sorry that she showed up
Give yourself and your body some time, the hormones alone may be playing tricks on how you feel at the moment.
It would be a comfort to have two beautiful healthy kids, but it's not wrong and I don't think you would be tempting fate to want to grow your family.
Try and get some rest and treat yourself with anything that can help numb the pain.
Take care of yourself and know that your musketeers are here for you
..

[BB73]

Polly, I am so, so sorry to hear AF paid you a visit. Nasty *****!!! I agree with Nicole, give yourself some time and get some rest. Have a few drinks and take your mind off the subject for a few days. You know that we will be here to support you whatever your decision may be.

[BB73]

Blood results back from today's progesterone test - 44, so have ovulated. Was a bit concerned that the level was so low but nurse assured me that it was ok. My levels are usually around this level on day 21 anyway.
Nicole, are you having any symptoms?

[pollyanna]

Good Afternoon Lovelies,
Well i have had a sleep on it. I didnt go to work today. Just needed some me/us time. The kids didnt go to school as the heat affects there asthma and today yet again its over 4o degrees. So they are home in the cool. It has been nice to have so many cuddles. I/we have decided that i /we still want this more than ever. I'm not ready to give up yet. Not by a long shot but i have more questions for my fs when i speak to him. Which will be this evening. He is one wonderful doctor. I hope you girls all have a wonderful weekend especially Nicole who is having a birthday. Have a fantastic weekend and fear not- i'll have a drink for you.!! Lets cross our fingers that you are abstaining form the alcohol because you ARE already pregnant. I really hope so,

[Nicole S]

Hey Belinda, great to hear that you did O....now the waiting game continues...
As for any symptoms, my bb are not as sore as what they were for the past few days, and my lower back AF pains have also gone.
I did a test today which was not a good idea...it was a BFN, I rang the clinic and spoke to a nurse and she said it would be too early to show...so 3 more sleeps and the waiting will be over.
How about you, any symptoms?

How you feeling today Polly?

[pollyanna]

Feeling not too bad. Still sad, still shocked and disheartened. But this will happen. I am positive. I am not ready to quit yet. I still want this so very much. so back on the band wagon for me. Need to call Melbourne IVF in the morning. Then collect my gonal-f. So i can get right back into it. I'm so sorry chicky that you got a bfn; i sincerely hope its just cause its to early. Have a incredible weekend.

[BB73]

Hi Girls,

Polly, I am so glad that you have decided to keep trying. I know how you feel though, every month when AF arrived I would chuck a tanty and tell my DH that I was sick of everything and I would never have kids and how it was so unfair considering two of my friends up until 2 years ago swore they would never have kids by choice and then over night decided they wanted to and got pregnant straight away!!! Then a day or so after I would realise what an idiot I had been and get on with it. But I do have to say that as each month passes with a BFN I become more and more demotivated in my life, both work and private. I hope the FS has some answers for you this evening.
Nicole, no symptoms for me yet, a few little twinges but other than that nothing. Even if I did have symptoms I can't rely on those as the pregnyl injections may have something to do with it. I did my second injection today and again hurt like hell. Had a little cry to myself and then ate chocolate (which won't do my arse any favours!!)
Hope you both have a wonderful weekend and Happy Birthday Nicole!!! I will probably be offline for most of the weekend so I just want to wish you the very best of luck now Nicole, for your blood test. to you.

[Nicole S]

Hey ladies, this cycle is over for me too.
AF started today, not very heavy as yet so that is a good thing.
Had a cry today to my SIL, it's silly to think that I could be lucky first time...it just doesn't make sense?!?! The cycle went really well, injections were not so bad, no side effects, bloods tests all good, US all good, swimmers were like a small army.... I just don't understand??
I'm still going for my blood test on Monday and DH and I will go ahead with another back to back cycle if FS gives the all clear.
next time we get a BFP

Hope you all have a great weekend, and thanks for your Birthday wishes